There is something about the NIGHT
 

I was trying to be more of a normal idiot and sleep at night more, and since my neighbors have mostly derailed that anyway .... I am awake at night fairly often, just as I have always been in life
I seem to climb up the ceiling wishing I was out on the road or doing anything
I see the cars and trucks going by on the highway and I just want to jump over the balcony and get out of here
That makes no sense. Why can't I just be lazy and enjoy doing nothing for awhile like most people seem to?

Night time is the right time
Something about it is better than day time

A need to roam is a good thing I think. . . I just want to be out driving some huge vehicle full of some merchandise, riding in the fancy car with the woman who has the loaded guns . . chasing some one . . ducking the Police .. . . anything

sigh
Fuck all of knowing what to do when you reduced everything down to nothing and there isn't anything

I miss drinking and I miss seeing women and I miss playing cards but more than ANYTHING I miss making deals and fucking with merchandise and shipping shit and all of that . . that is what I miss the most . I am a caged lion howling at the moon like a pissed off confused WOLF
Right now
It's funny how I miss WORKING more than I even miss any loved ones any more
It's a VERY GOOD THING
But it's funny how that works

Friend, 50% you are headed for some sort of mental break. Get some rest, take a walk in the day, socialize, eat a salad.

try hemp.

Ray
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Never socialize when you're here - believe me. Bigly.
Wrong
Wrong

Sad

A mental break could happen with the lack of sleep for so long but I don't think I'll allow that ... I really don't. I have an unbelievable level of self control in some of the more crucial ways