| CurrentlySober |
10-20-2018 11:22 AM |
Infinite poo...
Infinite poo... You sit on the toilet to poo, but the poo never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poo accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poo accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poo accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poo accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poo accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poo accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poo ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poo accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poo accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poo accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poo accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poo accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poo accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poo contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poo accelerates. Forever...
Infinite poo... :2 cents:
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