Penis Facials
 

I’d read about this before. I imagined some older woman Googling “penis facials” and seeing adult facials sites


Kate Beckinsale hops on the ‘penis facial’ trend

What’s the best way to refresh after a long flight? Tucking in for a so-called “penis facial,” if you’re Kate Beckinsale.

The dewy-skinned actress is just the latest Hollywood star to test out the EGF facial: a supposedly powerful anti-aging treatment that involves a serum derived from “Korean baby foreskins.”

Designed by aesthetician-to-the-stars Georgia Louise, the $650 experience involves a peel and microneedling, followed by a proprietary penis-infused serum.

In a now-deleted post on Instagram, Beckinsale described her first time trying EGF as “amazing,” with a cheeky note about getting pampered after a plane trip: “After a long flight I do like to lie down and be covered in a mask of liquefied cloned foreskins — frankly who doesn’t?”

Georgia Louise shared the 45-year-old actress’ glowy post-facial selfie, inviting a handful of negative comments.

“How vain do you have to be to do this kind of s - - t?” one user wrote.

“Kate is, has always been, and probably always will be gorgeous,” another said, before adding a significant caveat. “However, the thought of kissing anyone’s face that has the foreskins of babies rubbed all over it is unpalatable.”

Beckinsale joins a growing crew of A-listers who have experimented with this odd-sounding skin treatment.

Cate Blanchett is a fan of the “penis facial,” confessing in March that she tried it in NYC with Hollywood buddy Sandra Bullock.

Meanwhile, Bullock is such an avid proponent of EGF that she even talked about it on “Ellen” while promoting “Ocean’s 8” this May.

“When you see how good it is to your face, you too will run to your local facialist and say, ‘Give me the penis,’ ” Bullock gushed.

Never heard of such a thing. Fucked up shit. Maybe there's also FGM facials. aborted baby facials, etc. Truth is often stranger than fiction.

Isn't Kate Beckinsale a vampire?? I saw a movie about it.

She's probably sucking at the wrong place ! :Graucho

Her acting sucks so she must give great executive head . . .

wow what that is was very different than what i was expecting...

LOL. I’m wondering who made the discovery and why he or she decided to try it. Plus, why Korean baby foreskins? Did they test all ethnicities and locations for baby foreskin matter?

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If this product really works, then Jewish people won’t have perfect skin unless they buy it on the black market. They need to find a Korean rabbi to file a lawsuit for discrimination. Either share the product or change the Bible so circumsision is delayed for Jewish babies. (c)


*** the following is said in jest. You know a comedian will say this when word gets out. I’m copyrighting the three sentences above and it may not be used, reproduced or copied without written permission by the author. Documentation on file with the law offices of Cheatem, Screwem and Fuck M Up.