Bezos Says Amazon Drones Ready to Deliver Mueller Report to Every American Household
 

Bezos Says Amazon Drones Ready to Deliver Mueller Report to Every American Household

SEATTLE (The Borowitz Report)—Amazon drones stand “ready and waiting” to deliver copies of Robert Mueller’s official report, free of charge, to every American household as early as next week, the Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos, confirmed on Wednesday.

According to Bezos, Amazon has been planning the Mueller delivery mission for months, quietly building its drone fleet from a meagre two hundred to well over three million.

“Amazon will be doing same-day delivery of Mueller’s report the day it is released, free of charge, to both Prime and non-Prime households,” Bezos said. “This is our way of giving something back.”

News of the offer sent the Mueller report zooming to No. 1 on Amazon’s best-seller list within minutes.

According to the Amazon site, customers who shopped for the Mueller report also shopped for “Crime and Punishment,” by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

Lex luthor now has 3 million drones...

:1orglaugh :thumbsup

Have you loons thought about your new outrage once the Mueller report shows no collusion?

What will post-Muller-report gfy look like?

It can't look much worse than it does now :helpme

.

"Satire from The Borowitz Report"

It will look exactly the same except you can switch the name "Adam Schiff" for "Robert Mueller"

The Trump Derangement Syndrome will continue on as people just keep doubling down instead of just admitting they were wrong about the President.

It's already obvious in how well the country is doing VS. what the insane TDS people see through their shit-colored glasses.
Facts? Unemployment Figures? Economic numbers? NONE of that matters to them.

If it’s damning then Alex Jones will try to start Civil War 2.0 and if it exonerates trump then trump will go the full banana republican kleptocrat and turn what’s left of your democracy into North Korea.

Bladelier Media and his cronies will go bat shit crazy. The likes we have not seen in years.

Cut him a break. He just learned what satire is last week.

It's a tough concept for Republicans to grasp.

Here's a Republican's idea of comedy.



My idea of comedy is Vic Berger ridiculing it.