Moral Dilemma - crazy I have to come here for help
 

So there's a guy who is a gymnastics coach. He calls into my company from the gym and talks about the young girls and boys there...even with names. I have banned him as soon as I realized what was going on and told him why.

We have so many people who have these fantasies and I believe they are fantasies...but this guy has access to a lot of young children and it's making me sick.

Do I call the owner? What am I opening myself up to? :Oh crap

Can't really talk about this with my friends.

Wow I don't envy you at all. You know what the right thing to do is but this could expose you to some serious litigation.

Maybe contact and let him know that you know where he works and if he doesn't quit you'll report him.

Ask a lawyer.

What is "your company"? I am inclined to say, "hell yes, tell the owner" but depending on what your company is, maybe not.

People turn to fantasy to not act out in reality.

We have horror movies, killing video games, porn, incest porn, anime, BDSM etc. for this reason.

You know this.

You've been in the phone sex business for a long time. The fact that he still sets off your alarm bells is reason for concern.

phone sex baddog. So his thing could be absolute fantasy, but I bet if I looked a little further the names he used as his student in the fantasy probably all match real students of his. Does it mean he's doing anything? No, but if he has access to all these kids, as I told him in my email, there's no way I believe he hasn't inappropriately touched any of them over the years.

The bigger issue is, he's one of the owners of the gym. I think this would end up being a big deal if brought to light.

Drag him into the light. No mercy for chomos.

He knows that I know, I told him that he makes me sick to my stomach. I've been doing this a long time, and I have reported 4 people over 20 years. I don't think any of my decisions were wrong.

I've been sitting on this for a month and my heart still beats harder when I think about it.

Interestingly enough I don't believe I ever saw baddog or AaronM condemn Donny for being a pedophile

Maybe contact ASACP; or a lawyer.

That's a fucked up situation. I woulda reported him to whoever needed to know and dealt with the consequences later.

get it done, if it is true as you say...get it done.

Thanks guys. Just confirmed what I already know. I appreciate it.

Always do anything you can to save children. Follow your instinct like you have before.

To be a licensed gymnastics coach you have to go through USA Gymnastics. To report suspected abuse you report here

You also need to report to your local athorities and of course be honest about your business and exactly why you feel the urgency to report, he's naming specific children he has sexual desires for.

You've done this before so you'll do it right :thumbsup

Forgetting about all the BS... i would say this. The moment he called you from the gym itself and started naming students by name, he put himself in the cross hairs. I would notify the school district. However, remember teachers unions and how vicious they are. You can't prevent blowback against you with or without an attorney... but you likely can save some kids.

Look... when it's fantasy.. ok, whatever. I might not agree with it, but it is what it is. However, when a person in a position of trust, at a school and who is manhandling little girls... then calls a phone sex line to talk about it all in a sexual manner,... even naming kids by name,... that's when a line has clearly been crossed and it's your obligation to take steps to protect these children from harm.

I have texted the female owner and she's going to call me tomorrow. Cat is out now, but I didn't discuss that it was actually her partner. Just told her one of the coaches. I don't want to say much in text.

Two things:

1. If your instincts are SCREAMING at you then you must listen to them. They are there for a reason. You are a woman who has experience with this sort of thing so you already know what to do.

2. I went to the prostitution museum in Amsterdam. In there they have an exhibit about a woman (whore) who called the cops on one of her clients who started talking about his daughter (a teen). He got arrested and she was glad she called the cops.

Do what your heart is telling you to do. Good luck!!

Take thorough notes of everything ... document everything, make notes of the things he said by phone etc. talk to the girls and get them to tell you what he said, when etc, date it all. be thorough and remember that your notes can also be evidence if he ever tries to fuck with you legally.

Partners are often enablers :2 cents:

You need to call actual authorities & his gymnastics licensing authority because children can be actual victims. You can't do back door shit with this. Now you've targeted yourself by letting possible perpetrators know you're going to report them damn :( And now if you don't report them at a child or parent does down the road they're going to automatically think it was you.

I thought about this as well. I figured she was going to go right to her partners. One is her brother. It was their parents who started the gym 40 years ago. They have THOUSANDS of students. My guy runs one gym on his own. Then the brother runs one and the sister runs one.

I mean you'd think if you have these fantasies that you wouldn't call from a WORK PHONE that has the gymnasium's name on it and then talk about the students.

She's going to call me in about a half hour. Not even sure how to handle it now.

Hire a private investigator and see what he's up really to ?? You can write a novel out of it.

Ugh what a mess! I don't envy your position in this but you're doing the right thing. If someone would have spoken up against coach Larry Nassar earlier he wouldn't have been able to abuse those 264 girls that came forward.

Part of the reason to go-to authorities is they can check his devices for any incriminating evidence of his possible crimes with the children he's in charge of. Now he's possibly going to have a heads up from family and destroy evidence.

I have notes, recordings, and specific names of students with ages.

The lady was very professional, just getting info from me and said they were going to seek counsel and have them get in touch with me. My last phone call is to the police department so they can't quietly try to make it go away and then I'm done with it.

The first thing I thought when I read "seek council" code word for "settlement" like they've been down this road before and have paid out.

That's amazing. Good for you in being so diligent.

I was thinking about this dilemma a little this morning and it seemed to me that the only correct course of action is to take what evidence you have to the police and let them take it from there. If they find nothing, they find nothing. But it's pretty risky liability-wise and possibly in terms of your own personal safety to insert yourselves into the middle of someones possible criminal charges and the collapse of a rather large business and losing everything they own in life.

1000s of students at a common monthly rate of $150.00 a month is... a lot to lose. Particularly when it's paying for the properties, owner dividends, owners properties/homes, cars etc.

Additionally, you are talking about an "owner" who is going to give his partners his own version of things in private and can likely explain it all away... and if you think about it, the other owners are heavily incentivized to believe any version that doesn't involve them losing everything.... and as a former gym owner, i can tell you with 100% certainty that absurd claims are par for the course on their end, so you won't be the first to call up with a "crazy story". And think about this.. .LA Fitness for example has lost lawsuits because of members dropping weights on their own feet. Don't think for a moment you're going to get the benefit of the doubt in anything you say from them.

You should also go to the police with everything and let them take over as you now need to shield yourself against what they may ultimately claim was an extortion attempt on your part as they attempt to control the story and protect their revenue.

Wow.
It is Very refreshing to open a thread and people of GFY can contribute with smart comments instead of massacring each other with crazy posts.
MakeMeGrrrrowl, you are a great person, just as all the posters who took this seriously.

Mark's comment is my favorite, just listen to your inner voice and do what you have to do, even if is has 'dangers'. Most likely you are saving a lot of kids with your acts. <3
KUDOS! :pimp

Good job MakeMeGrrrrowl.

There are still good people around here.

You did the right thing it has to have the light shined on it...If he hasnt done anything wrong he still shouldnt be in a position of trust with children. You were in a tough spot good for you...also good for you for NOT calling ASACP they have been in existence for ages and how many child abusers have they had convicted....NONE How many have they been helpful in convicting...NONE I dont know what it is they do but I know what they dont do...and just where does they money go Helmys pocket?

He's already been fired (not sure how to fire a co-owner), and his information removed from their website. Police said the gymnasium is doing everything the right way.

I supposed we may see it on the news and if so, I'll link you all to it.

Thank you for the update. Well done :thumbsup

wow, how did I not see this? Yes, you did the right thing for sure. :thumbsup

Phone sex can be fantasy but you running your biz for 19 years know the difference between fantasy and dangerous.

Excellent work!!! I know this situation must have been very difficult and upsetting for you but you did the right thing. We need more concerned, intelligent and courageous citizens like you!! :thumbsup:thumbsup

If he told you it's odds on he told others. All are staying quiet be=cause they don't want to get into trouble. But imagine if he does something bad and you said nothing?

Report him to the police and let them decide.