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-   -   I figured out why there is such a thing as The Florida Man (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1315489)

crockett 07-09-2019 11:45 AM

I figured out why there is such a thing as The Florida Man
 
I never thought about this but Florida is basically Austria in the US.. If Florida Man was in Australia he would just be the guy down the road no one special but in the US he's special.

Florida is the only fucking place in the world that has Alligators, Crocodiles (including salties). We have fucking pythons, bears, coyotes, boars, panthers, a dozen snakes that can kill you.. Fucking alligator turtles.. yes having Alligators and Crocodiles wan't enough, they had to mix the two in a fucking turtle, that can bite your big toe off in one snap...

If that's not enough there are wild fucking monkeys..giant lizards.. every shark you can think of including visits from Great Whites. Hell bull sharks routinely travel into the rivers. Not to mention sting rays and those those tiny fucking jellyfish that can actually kill you..

Then there is the Hurricanes, the tornadoes and it's also the lighting capitol of the world, brain eating ameba and flesh eating bacteria. Then there are the Christians and the nut cases in the neighborhood watch programs shooting kids in hoodies..

Literally everything in FL is trying to fucking kill you.. It's like Austria.. FL man is literally Mick Dundee..

ghjghj 07-09-2019 11:51 AM

https://i.imgur.com/Jmz44h3.png

crockett 07-09-2019 11:52 AM

Study finds ghjghj is still a white nationalist.. a racist fuck..

ghjghj 07-09-2019 11:57 AM

Whatever you say Florida man

klinton 07-09-2019 12:28 PM

Australia, not Austria ????
:o

SilentKnight 07-09-2019 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crockett (Post 22498425)
I never thought about this but Florida is basically Austria in the US.. If Florida Man was in Australia he would just be the guy down the road no one special but in the US he's special.

Florida is the only fucking place in the world that has Alligators, Crocodiles (including salties). We have fucking pythons, bears, coyotes, boars, panthers, a dozen snakes that can kill you.. Fucking alligator turtles.. yes having Alligators and Crocodiles wan't enough, they had to mix the two in a fucking turtle, that can bite your big toe off in one snap...

If that's not enough there are wild fucking monkeys..giant lizards.. every shark you can think of including visits from Great Whites. Hell bull sharks routinely travel into the rivers. Not to mention sting rays and those those tiny fucking jellyfish that can actually kill you..

Then there is the Hurricanes, the tornadoes and it's also the lighting capitol of the world, brain eating ameba and flesh eating bacteria. Then there are the Christians and the nut cases in the neighborhood watch programs shooting kids in hoodies..

Literally everything in FL is trying to fucking kill you.. It's like Austria.. FL man is literally Mick Dundee..

Wildlife in Florida you say?

A startling epiphany. :eek7

TheSquealer 07-09-2019 12:37 PM

Dumbass doesn't know the difference between Australia and Austria

wehateporn 07-09-2019 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crockett (Post 22498425)
I never thought about this but Florida is basically Austria in the US.. If Florida Man was in Australia he would just be the guy down the road no one special but in the US he's special.

Florida is the only fucking place in the world that has Alligators, Crocodiles (including salties). We have fucking pythons, bears, coyotes, boars, panthers, a dozen snakes that can kill you.. Fucking alligator turtles.. yes having Alligators and Crocodiles wan't enough, they had to mix the two in a fucking turtle, that can bite your big toe off in one snap...

If that's not enough there are wild fucking monkeys..giant lizards.. every shark you can think of including visits from Great Whites. Hell bull sharks routinely travel into the rivers. Not to mention sting rays and those those tiny fucking jellyfish that can actually kill you..

Then there is the Hurricanes, the tornadoes and it's also the lighting capitol of the world, brain eating ameba and flesh eating bacteria. Then there are the Christians and the nut cases in the neighborhood watch programs shooting kids in hoodies..

Literally everything in FL is trying to fucking kill you.. It's like Austria.. FL man is literally Mick Dundee..

You probably should read this

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-di...-and-Australia

escorpio 07-09-2019 12:48 PM

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_5-Yg3c5tko/hqdefault.jpg

crockett 07-09-2019 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSquealer (Post 22498442)
Dumbass doesn't know the difference between Australia and Austria

Dumbass I clearly typed Australia at the start. I'm pretty fucking sure everyone who passed Reading and Comprehension can understand I was referring to Australia . Auto correct on my cellphone seems to have changed it to Austria in the last sentence and I didn't notice.

Stop being a suckwaffle..


This topic clearly trigger Red Hats.. Why are Red Hats so bat shit insane, perhaps that will be my next topic.. :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Bladewire 07-09-2019 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crockett (Post 22498433)
Study finds ghjghj is still a white nationalist.. a racist fuck..

Remember, he's an alt-right hate fake nic

crockett 07-09-2019 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wehateporn (Post 22498443)

You should probably stop being a suckwaffle..

ghjghj 07-09-2019 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bladewire (Post 22498470)
Remember, he's an alt-right hate fake nic

:1orglaugh

Natalie_K 07-09-2019 01:40 PM

In the words of Rochard, "You'd have to be a complete idiot to choose to live in Florida"

crockett 07-09-2019 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Natalie_K (Post 22498491)
In the words of Rochard, "You'd have to be a complete idiot to choose to live in Florida"

Unfortunately, I have family and a decent sized chunk of land here otherwise I'd have stayed the fuck out of this state when I left before..

Natalie_K 07-09-2019 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crockett (Post 22498495)
Unfortunately, I have family and a decent sized chunk of land here otherwise I'd have stayed the fuck out of this state when I left before..

Actually out of all the things you mentioned, your story about lightning scares me the most.

Bladewire 07-09-2019 02:49 PM

↑↑↑ Alt-right hate fake nic

ruff 07-09-2019 11:47 PM

Just watch where you step when you're in Florida and you'll be okay.


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