I have a dead body I need to get rid of.
 

I have a question and I am hoping one of my GFY friends can provide an answer (legally speaking).

So, I have a dead body in my house and I can't afford a funeral . Can I legally bury the body in the woods at the back of my house or perhaps tie some bricks to the body and commit the body to the nearby lake.

I am unsure what to do, it's been here about 24 hours now and I know I can't leave it here.

By the way, the death was natural causes.

Dig a hole, cover it with Lime if you want it preserved up to 6 months.

Get a Taxidermy For Dummies book.

So, you are saying I can bury the body myself?
I'm not interested in preserving it ffs. I just want it gone. Unless lime will bring it back to life of course.

What's takidermy and why would I need a taxi?

The police would take it away and if no one claims the body, the city or town arranges the funeral.

Do it fast or the smell will bring animals and the police officially

How you can buy calm with a dead body in your home is deranged.

Do whatever you want with it, I don't care.

Try cooking it: 25 minutes per pound at 350 degrees F.

Put it on Craig's List - You are bound to find someone who wants to fuck it, eat it or fuck it then eat it...

Thanks but I live out of town and have no way of contacting the police.
Would I be able to do my Own funeral?

What do you mean, buy calm?

Everyone dies.

Dude, this is my fucking grand mama we are taking about.

Put it in an Amazon box by your front door. Someone will come steal it.

Nevermind

Best answer so far :1orglaugh.

Get a job, you won't have these problems.

Anyway, just put it/her outside. Nature food.

Something fishy going on here. You have no way of contacting police, yet you're on GFY?

All the more reason to in that case. I mean, you've always wanted too, now's your chance, and you aint gonna get another are you?

YOLO 'n all that... :2 cents:

Hide the body in your dick; nobody ever found that.

:2 cents:

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh . . .

When I say I have no way of contacting the police what I actually mean is there is no way I am contacting the police.
I am wanted for a crime I didn't commit.

You are right about that but honestly, my friend has been spending time with her and I don't like the way he always thinks he is better than me.

Have you considered escaping into the Los Angeles Underground?

Barbed wire > river/lake.


Burning seems easiest.

My friend and I were talking about becoming soldiers of Fortune.

John Fortune is my other friend. We don't talk about him because he is a bit weird. Ex-military and all that.

Understood - You'd probably have some difficulty finding him anyway... :2 cents:

He's not that hard to find but due to his camouflage clothing, he can be a bit difficult to spot from a distance.
My eyes are shot though.

Murdering your grandmother? - I can see why they might think that...

Murdering my Grand mamma? Are you on drugs, or drink?
My Grand mamma dies of natural causes.

Typo. Be calm.

Doesn’t grandma smell yet?

Have you considered a woodchipper and a river bank?

Fargo style? I like it.

jeezus this is not even funny.

You guys are sick

first things first, you´d better think of a huge reason you haven´t contacted the authorities, as this is always first...

once this is done, the rest is taken care of...

oh and "I have no way of contacting the authorities when you´re on the net" doesn´t work, See you in a few years :thumbsup


"999, 911, i think you can call direct from skype"

Is it too late to nominate Smack_dat for Troll of The Year ? ?

Of course it is totally legal.
Do that, there's absolutely no legal risk here.

Is that even a thing anymore?

Is there anything GFYers can't answer!

So...what did you decide to do?

You just answered...?

I dont want to spoil it for you... but he just went to the store for some fava beans and a nice Chianti

I decided to bury it in the words out back.
Dead bodies are heavy so I used a wheelbarrow.
I was going to make like a sign or a tombstone type thing but couldn't be bothered so now it's just an unmarked grave.