Toilet paper is fucking barbaric
 

Why do we treat our assholes so poorly? If we got SHIT on ANY other part of our bodies, we would WASH it off with soap and water. But shit on our assholes? Hmm, let's just smear it around with some dry fucking paper! Makes no sense. If I got shit on my hands, I wouldn't just wipe it with dry paper towels, obviously.
I'm installing a bidet.

Uhhh maybe try wet wipes?

Already have a bidet and my asshole is just fine. It thanks me every day. Treat your ass right and it will follow you anywhere.

True words. Will save paper and good for you asshole.

I bought bidets for all toilets at the beginning of the pandemic. They are lovely.

This one is only $120!!
https://hellotushy.com/products/warm...BoCzR0QAvD_BwE

Pamper your ass with Quilton.

Bidets FTW!

Use the lavender/chamomile flavored toilet paper and you shall be fine. You dont have zewa deluxe in US?

Smearing yourself with shit builds up character, just ask CS . . .

bidet + TP is the only way

Amen brother! You are preaching to the converted here!

Forget toilet paper and simply go in your pants whenever the mood takes you... Think about all the trees that you are saving!

So: Save the Planet = Soil your Pants :2 cents:

Toto Washelet for the win. Cleans anus and twat. Sweet.

Comparing shit on hand to shit on asshole is a bit tricky because you don't eat with your asshole. In fact you don't do anything else other than produce shit and fart with that asshole. You may treat it nice with chamomile wet tissue or bidet and what not but in few hours there will be a stinky shit coming out of that hole once again....

Assholes have many uses other than just a tube for shits. It can be used for sex, suppositories, taking your temperature, hiding things, a pivot sleeve, and crowd control. Don't sell the anus short, without one, you would explode.

Better snatch it all up before covid or some other pandemic strikes again.

And if you're just smearing it around then you're doing something seriously wrong.

These are fair points..

Also fair points! :1orglaugh

The toilet paper is terrible, the bidet is much better but nothing beats a nimble tongue that teases and excite the numerous nerves endings in an anus...

https://thumbs-cdn.redtube.com/m=eam...20_6139500.gif

Not many women will do that. Especially the extra quarter inch that makes it count

I live in Russia. We are used to use the toilet paper before we can wash it off with water and soup. Here in my country we are used to wash off anything. Your face and hands when you enter a home. You must take off your shoes, because nobody knows which shit you were stepping at. If you are at your home, you must take off you jeans, because nobody knows where you were sitting at.

This is how it works here.

I't not just russia but the other european countries as well. For example, we have slippers for guests when they arrive. But it's not always enforced, depending on length how long guest stay.

Do you eat that soup afterwards? :winkwink:

I bet CS would love it :thumbsup

Overall, use a bidet and the take a small piece of toilet paper to check if your asshole is squeaky clean.

we always have bidet in Spain, in Spain, it´s a normal thing to have in your bathroom...

although, growing up, we had bidets in England also!


I wipe my ass with paper and use the bidet to wash :2 cents:

just buy bidets and forget about paper!

Bidet for life.
FTW.

Anyway you look at it, a clean ass is a happy ass.

But even when the asshole is shiny, farts still stink... :fart

Dirty ear hole.

We need more threads like this on here... :2 cents:

fap fap fap...

What % of toilet paper do you now use compared to pre-bidet times?

I have used baby wipes for 30 years.

My tushy deserves it.

A tampon stuffed right up the butt will filter most farts. You can substitute a cigar for a Miami filter or potato for an Idaho filter. These are just solutions for a perceived problem. A good fart is a social warning system. Useful in subways, theaters, and other crowded venues where you need to increase your personal space immediately.
Then there is the balloon fart that activates after you have left the area, but perhaps I'm going too far with this...

Please stop me!

Doesn’t clog your toilet/sewer system?

there is one good thing about toilet paper, should you choose to use it..

After wiping you can press it directly over your mouth and nose, enabling you to 'huff' it in deeply... :2 cents:

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

He doesn't know how to use the seashells.

If you got shit on your hands, would you just wipe them on some toilet paper and go about your day?

https://external-content.duckduckgo....6pid%3DApi&f=1

Lulz....

Just use Shittens https://www.sadanduseless.com/shittens/

Recommended brands?

Edible toilet paper?

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Toto is the best.

Tushy is a great deal.

Haha, dang CS I love your "poetry"

Hope you dont mind me correcting your spelling... :thumbsup

When I'm morose, I use this toilet paper to give myself the illusion of being rich. :stoned

https://www.petagadget.com/wp-conten...et-paper-5.jpg

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

...Bidet!