Said anything really stupid at exactly the wrong time?
 

At my old job, got in the elevator and there were 3 other people already on it. One was this woman I hadn't seen for a while. She was wearing this tight kind black dress or something. Thin inexpensive material. After saying our surprised "Hi's" to eachother, I said, "I didn't know you were pregnant!". "I'm not", she said.
Long fucking ride down, let me tell you.

To this day, I don't care if the chick is giving birth right in front of me, I will not say anything about them being prego first. Never.

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

post yours screw-ups

At a party there was this girl and she was with this somewhat older dude, obviously related. Hair lip moustache and all, me and the girl gave each other an introduction. I then asked what her brothers name was, she got a bad expression and said this is my mom.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh


I used to be a sales rep. I once used the expression "swear on my mother's grave" with a client. The look on her face told the story. I later confirmed through the grapevine that, yes, her mother had died the week before. I have never used the expression since.

I had this really weird thing.

I called this ticket service to buy a bus ticket.
For some reason this woman thought i was a family member or a friend, i guess we have the same first name.

She said that my dad called and i need to call him back.

I was like what are you talking about and she said it again a bit annoyed that my dad called.

When i told her my dad died last year and it would be kinda odd if he called me it was awfully quiet for 5 secs on the other side :)

Ick...thats nasty!

During a dinner banquet in high school, a buddy of mine wasn't paying attention to the speaker. The speaker said, "Let's all take a moment to remember all those who couldn't be here tonight." As the room grew silent, my buddy starts clapping because he thought the speech was over.

one time this dude was hitting on me and not getting very far. His friends asked me right in front of him what my requirments for dating a guy were and i said "he pretty much just has to be literate"

guess what? I found out later that the guy couldnt read or write

Was installing Roger's Internet here in Vancouver a few years back...



Rang the doorbell, then an 18 year old, or so, girl came to the door. She was dressed like she was going to high school or something. I asked for Mr Smith or whatever and she lead me through the house to the computer and some ooooooollllllddddd dude sitting there. He looked like my father, if not older, who is 55. ( The house was fxcking HUGE by the way )


I did the install and everything bleh bleh bleh and when it came time to do the demonstration I asked him to grab his daughter to see the demo.... he said "That's my wife"



Uhhhhh

at this one party I approached to this chick despite my extreme shyness. after talking for a few minutes we were starring at TV and a baseball game was on. I said, 'god, i really don't like that sport'. a few mins later found out she was a softball player and it was the world series that was on.

I used to work at a gun club when I was about 19. Every morning I would go to the clubhouse to have some breakfast and the employees were usually pretty lively and would all say good morning, snap me with towels, throw ice, etc.

One particular morning all of the employees and some of the owners family who also worked at the club were sitting at their usual table completely silent. That was so unusual I HAD to say something. I got my breakfast without anyone saying shit to me and as I was walking to the table I asked "So who the hell died?".

Turns out the owner had died the night before.

hahaha :1orglaugh

thats some cool stuff peple :thumbsup

yes... I asked her to say "Hi" to some friends...

http://www.povporn.com/upload/Majagfy.wmv

it's Maja Lee from www.vancouverporn.com - a regular GFY-er that I met here.

LMAO

I got into a elevator not noticing there are people there, I was on my cell phone talking to photogregg and I was telling him somethin in the line of "after he licks her asshole have her lick his" somethin like that, 2 women in the elevator one guy.

Gotta be one time when I was a sophomore in High School, back before I could drive and I was still riding the bus. Was sitting all the way in the back (cause I was cool, y'know?). Started talking shit really loudly about this girl my friend was dating with a couple kids in the back - I mean this girl was HUGE and totally ripped. Said how she could totally kick his ass. And of course, after I'd been going on for like 5 minutes, I look towards the front of the bus and see a girl turn around...guess who it was? :1orglaugh

To this day I'll never know WHY she was on the bus that day, but goddamn was I embarrased. Plus like I said she was huge - TOTALLY could have kicked my ass.

this is the worst and i still think about it every so often and cringe with shame because I'm not a racist and i never say anything close to what i did that day. i blame it on peer pressure but that is a copout - i was at a new high school, most of the cool people were Jews, i'm Jewish but had never been exposed to many Jews in my life. But I knew Yiddish words from my grandparents and other older relatives.

so one day it was lunch and I was sitting in the cafeteria with a bunch of Jewish guys, all wiseass types - so we were throwing buns at people, students, teachers anybody - there was a black cafeteria lady cleaning up a table or something and i guess i wanted to fit in with these guys so as one guy was cocking his arm back to wing another bun at somebody i blurted out loudly 'Ten bucks if you hit the schvartza!' - Schvartza is not a nice word, not as bad as '******', it's a word Jews use for black people. As soon as the word was out of my mouth I knew something was wrong because the color went out of the faces of the 6 or 7 other guys at the table and they were wincing - i had a good idea what was up, i slowly turned around and there was a guy name Marcus Salmon standing over my shoulder - one of probably only 5 black guys n the school, big guy, very nice guy - he didn't punch me or anything, he was smart, he gave me a withering look that was much more painful to me, like i was a complete dirtbag and not worthy of punching or dealing with - that's more than 20 years ago and still stays with me.

I have another one involving a girlfriend and her sister that is worse - no idea how anybody got past that one.

Bahahaha!:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I think I did something similar about a hundred times. You gotta watch yourself in public talking about porn. We get a little excited sometimes without thinking. You gotta automatically switch to Porn code: Boy/Girl = B/G, Sex = scene, pov porn = site, anal = A, Blow job = kiss, etc...

I was doing a sales call ...standing in the kitchen with the lady of the house while her kids were running around screaming and throwing a tantrum.

She was getting extremely frustrated that we could not hold our conversation.

She was a customer of mine for YEARS and we exchanged some pretty bad jokes ... the worse the joke the better she liked it.

Her four year old ran through the kitchen we hear a thump and he started crying ... no wailing.

I told her this reminded me of a joke ....

well the four year old came back into the kitchen SIMULTANEOUSLY ... with blood spewing as he had knocked out his BOTH his front teeth.

OUCH ...
both feet in mouth at same time ...
OUCH ...

This bar I frequent alot has a bartender there that found her boyfriend dead in his house. Apparently he shot himself in his head because he thought she was cheating on him. Really messy stuff! But The other day I was talking to a friend at the bar while having a drink,and she was right there in front of us when my dumbass says "I want to get a tattoo of the snuggle bear getting It's head blown off with a shotgun!" She burst into tears and ran off. I apologized but I still feel bad.

in college, i was planning on dumping my girlfriend... so i went out w/ some guys and got way too drunk. they called her to come pick me up. while walking to the car i fell down. evidently (i don't remember but they told me later) i opened my eyes w/ her leaning over me and said "You look just like my ex girlfriend."



a friend of a friend moved to austin last year so he started hanging w/ my friends. i didn't know him very well at the time... one night we were out, again i was too drunk, and he said something about his mom being out on a date(he seemed upset about it). i said something like, don't worry about it, i'm sure you dad is on a date, too. um, yeah, his dad had died some horrible death 2 years earlier. wasn't good.

nice thread


well I was getting drunk with a bunch of friends, and this girl was wearing the most tight denim jeans i've ever seen without underwear. Well I accidently blurted out "Holy shit what a camel toe". She soon turned pale, and all her friends started laughing at her.

Not really a mean thing or anything like that, but when I was 4 or 5, and my parents were hosting a dinner party, I asked my mom in front of everyone, "mommy, why do girls have 2 bums?"

;)

Of course, my mother ALWAYS brings it up now and then....lol

:1orglaugh

I"m dating this girl who struggled like she was fighting for her life when we had sex. I'm all bruised and scratched up after sex with her.

One day, after sex, we're heading to the elevator to get somethng to eat. The elevator door opens, looks empty. She's whining "you hurt me." I say "*I* hurt *you*?!?! Shit, Monie, if you didn't *struggle* so much..." Just then we jump into the elevator and there's a woman in there, door closes, she turns to face the wall and chuckles all the way down.

damn... that would have sucked...

when i was 5..my dad was having one of his biker partys..us kids were all playing in the yard (this was in the early 70's)...the police show up and i take the cops to the door and open it for them and walk them in and say at the top of my lungs "the pigs are here..the pigs are here"...my dad was a freaking to say the least, and got a lecture on teaching his children to disrespect the police
:1orglaugh

Hehe got some great stories here.. now I don't feel so stupid for some of the things I said :thumbsup

always watch what you say!!
lol:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

When I worked for a company (4 years ago) I got called into the office for a review on my day to day work, it's done once a year.

Anyway, the boss first words where "im not going to give you a pay raise".
After 2 years of no pay raise I spit the dummie, I stood up unzipped my fly and told him to "blow me" out loud.

Little did I know I got the job upstair (programmer) that I went for the week before and he wanted to say congratulations and that he's not my boss anymore.

I kind of lost both jobs about 2 hours later.
If only I shut my fucken mouth. :(

"so how is ur mom doing?"

"she just divorced from my dad"

i remember when i was 9 or 10 in school. i went to a school that had alot of blacks.(im white) and during lunch me and other kids in my class were telling scarey stories. well lunch ended and i went back into class i wanted to scare the kids so i wrote the devils sign on the chalkboard really big... a few minutes later my teacher explained to me that the devils sign wasnt ' KKK " it was " 666 ". i felt stupider than shit for about 6 months

funny too :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

when you are drunk it's damn easy to say something stupid. On new year this year I almost made a poodle on the bathrooms floor when I was laying there naked..drunk

Absolut :thumbsup

There was this time.... I prowled GFY for interesting conversations to observe or partake in, and I finally stumbled over something which caught my interest. I decided to reply. And I said this. Yes, this.

Don't try to be a smart-ass :winkwink:

I was working for a huge computer company with a couple of friends.. Anyway, I was alone in the toilet (in a cabinet) when I heard one of my friend come in (not in the cabinet but in the toilet hahaha ) and he was talking on his cellphone.. So I started making funny noises like "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww" (Some guy having a heart attack).

And

"WWWWWhuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

The Queen in "Aliens" sounds

My friend then stopped talking on his cell phone and I continued making stupid funny noises...

When I got out, i realised that it was not my friend, but one of the chief project manager. We didn't talk. I said that I thought it was my friend.. Then the time froze and inside my head I begged for Scotty to beam me up. He left the toilet and I stayed there for 5 mins, stunned.

After that incident, I always avoided this guy but he always looked at me like I was an alien or a freak.

Hahahaha.. Shit.. I don't know if he talked about this incident to anyone else but things were not the same after!