Incredible Inventions The Government is Hiding from YOU!!
 

Scores of such mind-bending inventions have been cooked up at secret government facilities nationwide, but they're being kept under wraps for national- security reasons, a leading science writer claims.

"If average citizens saw a fraction of the technology that exists today, it would blow their minds," declares D.C.-based Martin Claybee, who was granted unprecedented access to government labs by his scientist pals. Claybee says the primary excuse officials now use for keeping breakthroughs secret is that it gives us an edge in the war on terrorism.

"Part of what makes these devices so effective is that Al Qaeda has no idea we have them," he explains. "It's the same reason the Allies kept the invention of radar secret during World War II.

"But much of this stuff really doesn't need to be classified -- taxpayers have a right to know about it."

Some of the nifty inventions would make Luke Skywalker's jaw drop.

"An invisibility generator based on advances in quantum physics was developed in the late 1990s," Claybee reveals. "We used it with great effectiveness in Operation Iraqi Freedom to camouflage armored vehicles."

A "death ray" type laser capable of laying waste to entire cities sits mounted on a U.S. military satellite -- and has been in place since the Reagan administration, Claybee reveals.

Androids not only exist, they're being used by the CIA for intelligence gathering and assassinations.

"At least 60 are in the field right now," says Claybee. "Their primary role is to hunt down and liquidate terrorist leaders. To the untrained eye, they appear to be people, but they are robots with sensing capabilities and problem-solving abilities far superior to any human."

A mind-reading machine that translates thought waves into sentences that can be read on a computer monitor was finally perfected earlier this year.

"The device is being used by the National Security Agency to scan the United States 24 hours a day for 'red flag' terms such as 'bomb,' " Claybee claims.

A universal translator capable of interpreting animal speech has existed since 1993, but is being suppressed out of concerns that it might adversely affect the meat industry.

"Who'd slaughter a pig if you could hear it say, 'Please, don't hurt me,'?" Claybee asks.

Despite public declarations that cloning must be banned, government scientists created the first human clone in 2001. A total of 13 are now being raised in facilities nationwide -- including four duplicates of a beloved former president.

Incredibly, a functioning time machine was invented last year. "Currently you can only go about 90 seconds into the past, but researchers believe that will soon be extended to 10 minutes, Claybee says. "Eventually it will be possible to reverse bad foreign policy decisions without the public being any the wiser."

Chillingly, a Doomsday Device like the one in Dr. Strangelove is a reality. In fact, the U.S. has possessed a single bomb capable of destroying Earth since 1974, the science writer says.

A solar reactor has been built that can supply America with an unlimited supply of cheap energy. "Unfortunately, oil companies have a lot of pull in Washington -- it's in their interests to keep this deep-sixed," Claybee notes.

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/news/...stanceid=60284

Please tell me you are not this stupid?

i don't believe a single word.

Welcome to the world of tabloids online.

Rictor Rictor Rictor!!! :ugone2far

please tell me you didn't rip off extreme's sig.

wait, wheres the star trek teleporter? and where the fuck are humans on the ground in iraq when we could just send in the 60 terminators?

please tell me who the fuck extreme is?

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

What the fuck ever.

If it's in print, it must be true, right? :helpme

That science writer must be on crack. :321GFY

ok cummop, a search and i see this extreme person, heres the fucking problem, i had a similar sig waaaay back in 2002.. could he have ripped my original one off. think before you spout off cock magnet.

I almost started to believe this, then i clicked the link and saw it was a gay tabloid site :(

relax there, cum dumpster.

i asked you politely to tell me you didn't rip it off. a simple no wold have sufficed, asshat.

The Weekly World News is a well-respected webmaster news source.











Well, it's better than Fox News at laest.

ok fuckface, I see you did say please soo..

No I did not steal his sig, I have only known of his existence for 5 minutes now, i have had a similar sig off and on for 2 years, thank you for asking, have yourself a wonderful day!

addgoblin:evil-laug

oh snap, no one calls me an addgoblin and lives to tell about it!

die!

Missed the s and hit the d.. I think that deserves one of rictors assasin androids armed with the death ray at my door, be sure to use the invisibilty generator so I dont even see it coming or better yet, send him through the time machine then i can be dead 10 seconds before he even knocks.

ezacash.com has 240 hosted galleries. You should add it to your sig cause I'm sexy.

Only if I get to play with the animal speech translator, I have this urge to ask my cousins dog what makes the kitty litter so appetizing.

Now that was funny! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

You realize they have dog and cat translators in the U.S for a couple hundred bucks now, right? They've been in Japan for a couple years now. They actually work.

http://www.time.com/time/2002/inventions/tra_bow.html

This dude is on a roll, thats some funny shit

Thats kinda cool, but it's nothing more then some sound recognition software, a whimper=the dogs begging/lonely, a yelp=you stepped on it's foot/tail a bark=hey fucker look at me, ect. The article basically claims you can sit down and have a discussion with a pig..

why do people buy these tabloids?

Next week in the enquirer.. "Jackos monkey bubbles will serve as main witness in his defence" Bubbles claims "that was not micheals penis the boy thought he felt rubbing against him in bed, I left a banana in there while we we're making love"

I knew it wasn't true. Everyone knows the first clone will be Marilyn Monroe.

Sure all that tech stuff is available and one towel head still evades the US goverment with a election looming.

I'll take 10!

If you are going to get into conspiracy theories you have to understand that letting him stay free might be good for the election. It makes for a nice campaign promise, especially if there's another attack before the election.

I stopped reading once I saw that phrase about android assassins who look like humans and are even smarter :)

Cloak of invisibility? I want one!

Okay, I'm going to be giving away one of each of those gadgets each month to each of the top 10 affiliates for MensNiche - provided courtesy of Weekly World News* Anyone want a Death Ray?

Of course, you have it in writing now, so it must be true :thumbsup

*Subject to availability. No purchase necessary. Must be able to provide valid license for use of harmful equipment. Must be able to provide certification for use of and maintenance of Death Ray, MensNiche is not responsible for any harm caused by misuse of this equipment, and is given as promotion and for educational purposes only.


:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

<img src="http://aliens.blewme.com/forumpics/foilhat.jpg">


:winkwink:

What a lot of crap.

That's why they parachuted Special Services units, with specialist snipers, into Iraq and Afghanistan. There sole purpose was to elliminate certain people. And they sent a bomb into a restaurant becasue the android was "not available" :1orglaugh

They can't use the androids for such high profile stuff! Plausible deniablity.


That's why they don't release all that Area 51 alien technology all at once. People would get suspicious.

Klatuu barada niktuu.

Actually, according to TechTV - they don't.

They summarized that they are more like a magic 8-ball for dogs than anything else.

Your dog says "I'm hungy" -- well no shit.

Your dog says "I'm frustrated"
Your dog says "Make my day..."
Your dog says "Bring it on..."

Even though its just a novelty I'm sure that dog owners will still buy the hell out of it.

thats total bullshit

all I want is a cure for the common cold :helpme

uuuuhm right....are u on crack ?

Hilarious... The most advanced humanoid robots are in Japan and the best of the best has only learned to "run" in 2003...

The most advanced robot mind is akin to a retarded moth in regards to problem solving!

I'm not sure what's funnier; the article or the people telling him he's full of shit, etc. 'Tards. :1orglaugh

I can see shit!

http://www.mpghost.com/fu/x_ray.gif

I can't believe there are 500,000 seniors driving in Florida.

hahahaha!! :thumbsup

wait, i want to get my tinfoil hat on before i read this :winkwink:

I hope they send one of those androids to take out Rictor soon. Anyone that puts their dog in a dress is a terrorist.

Oh no, there's TWO Ulfie's?!

im going to shoot someone with my ray gun now, be right back

Yes, they are hiding everything these days!

A freind of mine in the food industry said that the goverment
is hiding the fact that the moon is made of cheese.

i want the invisibility generator :Graucho

oh no...time to head for the hills...lol

I have a laser cannon implanted in my cock
no, really