Deep Thoughts....by George Carlin!
 

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
George Carlin

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
George Carlin

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
George Carlin

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh loved that one !

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin

Who decides when the applause should die down? It seems like it's a group decision; everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, "Well, okay, that's enough of that."
George Carlin

:D

I never fucked a 10.

But one night I fucked five 2s.

"Fuck that, let Evel Kenevel get ON the plane! I'm getting IN the plane!"

I think George Carlin is the only white comedian that black people actually roll laughing at! We all know it's true! Black humor and white humor is so different! It's like Jeff Foxworthy is funny to white people but Richard Pryor is funny to us!

See, I think it's more that black people don't find white comedians funny, cuz I know plenty of white people that think black comedians are funny.

This is oh so true!

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Nice thoughts! :1orglaugh

I know right! LOL!

:evil-laug :evil-laug :thumbsup

Richard Pryor is funny to everyone.

I love George Carlin.. he's funny as hell, and had a pretty interesting life.

George Carlin is gonna be in Green Bay in September, which is like 4 hours away from where I live. I'm definately gonna try to get down to that.

You got that right. Richard Pryor was amazing.

PRYOR IS THE KING. PERIOD.

I love Carlin's bits, crack me up everytime.
WG

carlin kicks ass

:1orglaugh

:thumbsup

Carlin is, and always has been, the king.

who finds jeff foxworthy funny?

I don't