Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
 

funny shit

http://www.evilbible.com/Top_Ten_List.htm

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

Nice!

I would love to see your reaction if a Christian cop moved in next door to you. :1orglaugh

#11 - If your GFY nick is "boobmaster"

Beautiful. Fucking Beautiful.

I'd post the timeline, but this can never be said too often.

:thumbsup

:thumbsup :evil-laug

would never happen.

here in california, cops live in cul de sacs and have their own communities.

the police are separated from civilian population here.

very good stuff :thumbsup

I see why.

:1orglaugh

You could also call that the top ten ways to know if you're a Moron as well.

cool you admit people like me have the police scared.

:)

:1orglaugh lol good stuff.. fucking hypocrites Christians are

I remember when I was very young and searching for my identity I spent a brief time under the spell of a local fundamentalist church. I've always been the questioning type, and my biggest problem with my new religion was that a supposedly omnicient God would create people, or allow them to be created, that he already knew were going to burn in hell forever. This is such a cruel thing that I could not reconcile it with their image of a loving God. The preacher never had an answer for this question, but he did give me their mantra:

"You just have to have faith."

Their answer for any troubling part of their theology is that we can't know what's happening in the mind of God and that if it was easy to be a Christian then everyone would be one. So stop asking questions and just accept it, it doesn't have to make sense.

You cannot be a fundamentalist Christian and exercise your intelligence at the same time. The two disciplines are incompatible.

Scared of a scrawny pothead? Probably not. How about because of your completely unreasonable hatred of anything you disagree with. Anyone who says pot doesn't affect your brain is wrong.

:1orglaugh so fucking funny and true, religion is a sham

do you realize how much of a joke you really are?

some wannabe called "Grammar Police" who goes around correcting typos on a message board.

oh my what an asset to the world.

go finger your ass idiot

that never fails to amaze me. and i run into it all the time. I do enjoy systematically tearing their religion apart piece by piece for them though.

it's always amusign watching someone's world crumble before them.

but they never learn. you keep debunking, they keep right along wallowing in their blind faith and perpetual ignorance.

oh way, is the way of the world i suppose.