Understanding Women Better....
 

Another great email joke thingie....

Female keywords and their meanings:

"Fine": This is the word we use at the end of any
argument that we feel
we
are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use
fine to describe how
woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those
arguments.

"Five minutes": This is half an hour. It is equivalent
to the five
minutes
that your football game is going to last before you
take out the trash,
so
it's an even trade.

"Nothing": This means something and you should be on
your toes.
"Nothing"
is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of
wanting to turn
you
inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing"
usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with
the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One
that will result
in
a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with
the word "Fine."

"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up"
or "do what you
want
because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow
"Go ahead" in just
a
few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she
will talk to you
in
about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

:::...... This is not actually a word, but is still
often a verbal
statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh"
means she thinks you
are
an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting
her time
standing
here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

...::... Again, not a word, but a verbal statement.
"Soft Sighs" are
one of the few things that some men actually
understand. She is
content.
Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will
stay content.

"Oh": This word followed by any statement is trouble.
Example; "Oh, let
me
get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you
were doing last
night."
If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk,
to the nearest
exit.
She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done
tossing your
clothes
out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you
for at least 2
days.
"Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that
you are caught in
a
lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you
will get raised
eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable
that we can't bring
ourselves to write about them.

"That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous
statements that a
woman
can say to a man. "That's Okay," means that she wants
to think long and
hard before paying you retributions for what ever it
is that you have
done.

"That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and
used in
conjunction
with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead." At some point in the
near future when
she
has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some
mighty big
trouble.

"Please Do": This is not a statement, it is an offer.
A woman is giving
you
the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason
you have for doing
whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair
chance to tell the
truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's
Okay".

"Thanks": A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just
say you're
welcome.

"Thanks a lot": This is much different from "Thanks."
A woman will say,
"Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you.
It signifies that
you
have hurt her in some callous way, and will be
followed by the "Loud
Sigh."
Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud
Sigh," as she will
only
tell you "Nothing."

I hope this clears up any misunderstandings...

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