Who Wants To Be 'Evil' ???
 

I say we cut through the bullshit and all join the forces of 'Evil'.

We can all grow goatees and wear capes and snarl at passersby.

We can pitch in and buy an old castle and train vultures to fly around it.

Why beat around the bush? This planet has just entered into the 'Pimp The Planet Stupid' phase and it's either pimp or be pimped.

The only thing you can trust nowadays is 'Evil' because 'Good' is too busy frontin' a show.

Just admit it. You've always wanted to be 'Evil'. Drive a black car and dress your chick up like 'Morticia Addams' on crack.

You can even hire bumbling henchmen all dressed the same with numbers on their shirts like 'Henchman #1' and 'Henchman #2'. They'll of course say things like 'Yeah Boss!" and other such kiss assy stuff.

I've got a few 'Evil' tricks up my sleeve. We can call 'missing pets' ads and say "I've found your golden retriever Fido but I couldn't keep him. I sent him to the pound 8 days ago!". Or something really evil like going to adoption agencies pretending to be wealthy parents and meeting all the kids and staff and at the last minute have your girlfriend turn to you and say, " Honey, do you think that felony conviction of child cannabalism will hurt our chances of adopting?"

I mean get downright good at being evil. We can have our own political party too, theme song, reality show, breakfast cereal.

I say we knock off the pretense and just do what we do best.

Hey I am down with all that, but I really dont want my evil wife to have to wear a goatee.


So we will have to work around that. But I am in!

Okay but I don't want any wishy-washy evilness around here!

You'll have to obey to all the rules!

You can get your feet wet by doing little evil things around your house and neighborhood.

First off when you pass a panhandler outside of a 7-11 or something, tell him you'll be right back with some change and then come out and say "Sorry dude, tried to get change but dude behind the counter said no."

Or better yet, send your kids to school with only sugary snacks. Not one iota of nutritional content mind you! Then tell them to sprawl their confectionous goodies around all the underpriviledged kids.

Go to the zoo and steal like 20 lbs of elephant shit. Then put it on your neighbor's front lawn and tell him another neighbor you don't like's dog did it. Sit back and watch the yuks.

Make sure you get lots of flyers from massage parlors and stuff them in the mailboxes of elected officials and church leaders.

Go to a pet store and say loudly " I could have sworn there was a snake in that empty aquarium. Where did it go? "

Just do those for starters. Once you get the hang of it word will spread and evil will take it's rightful place as the supreme force of this planet.

Rules for the evil?

A new game just came out that lets you do that :)

http://www.howevilareyou.com/us/

I'm not a huge gamer, and the controls are a bit weird... but given you are all hanging out on GFY all night, you might as well play the free demo :winkwink:

Of course there are rules! There's a union too!

The United Evil Workers of America Local 666

We have pension plans, health care, discounts on devices of sinister design and an annual picnic at Death Valley.

Every year we crown the 'Miss UEW Contest' where contestants wear bikinis and answer questions like, " If you become the new Miss UEW what fiendish plot would you hatch? ".

Nothin' but yuks for the hard working evil I say!

not even in my dreams.