Michael Moore makes himself feel better...
 

Got this in the mail a little while ago...

Date: Thu, 04 Nov 2004 23:11:58 -0800
Subject: 17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore




11/5/04

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in
the words of Monty Python, 'always look on the bright side of life!' There
IS some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since
Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults
(Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always
wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the
country is headed in the wrong direction (56%: http://www.realclearpolitics.com/Pre...f_country.html), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%: http://www.pollingreport.com/iraq.htm), and don't approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%: http://www.realclearpolitics.com/Pre...4/bush_ja.html). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the
Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the
Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do
their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of
our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West
Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water,
all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in
lava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any
old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut.
May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will
no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If
you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly
golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married
in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't
have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress,
including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to
have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates
can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3
chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state
legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the
2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53
chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47
chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber
(Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than
the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out --
and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work
that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th
grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the
next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the
ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his
point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very
dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two
scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the
Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear
that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that
history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for
too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and
arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such
major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from
office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting
age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it
means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards
to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of
those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go
home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three
yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are
coming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the
candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total
number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore.
Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for
a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time
since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has
always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is
that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact,
that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones
who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November
2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of
surprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My
Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a
wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"

But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.

Yours,

Michael Moore
[email protected]
www.michaelmoore.com

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That list has a lot of BULLSHIT facts.

What a fucking COmmy.

ummmm.....isn't there like 46 million more Americans today than when Reagan was elected?

How can you make the comparison that Kerry got more votes than Reagan unless you adjust for the incredible difference in population?

Come on, Michael Moore always twists facts for his own benefit. He's the Democratic version of Bush or Baghdad Bob.

I didnt see any lies in what he said.

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the
Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the
Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do
their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

The supreme court "justices" do not have "terms off years to serve"

they have a few means to leave position.

The President appoints the Justice and The senate confrims.

Bush OWNS the senate majority (R) He gets what he wants.

Fuck bush, he is a traitor.

Um, how the hell do you figure this out, some senator who won in NY was on the daily show saying the same thing and jon stewart totally called him on this Bullshit.

Jon said, wait a second, if this election had the highest turnout of all time and you lost by 3 million votes, doesnt that say that the majority of americans are with the other guys?

I hate micheal moore, he was ok until he did "F 9/11" then he became a self important liberal who hated the system he would never be elected into so much he decided to take out whoever was in office by any means necessary.

Oh, and P. Diddy, you got a lot of people to kill. Better get started.

I wish Moore would make *me* feel better and blow his brains out. Maybe take out Al Franken too.

'Maybe'?

How very christian of you.

holy shit! that is great

that needs to be a t-shirt

I really hope for his sake that he did not really say that.

If so, it just shows how childish and immature an individual he really is.

I don't know, but I think a lot of people just say "its a load of shit" so they look like they know what they are talking about when they don't. I just admit I don't. :winkwink:

Michael moore is really a creation of the right wing conservatives, much the same way Islamic terrorism is a creation of American foreign policy or a nymphomaniac is a creation of the catholic church.

:1orglaugh

Uh?

He made his point very well. Times are changing and what 'our parents' believe is 'the only way' isn't what us youth believe - fast-forward when current youth of these times has double or tripled and another Bush wouldn't get voted in.

The old (age wise) folks' views clash with the youth - sadly the youth pay for it now and in the future with this current government; I'm talking financially etc..

By the way, where the hell is the US government borrowing / getting all this money from? Iraq oil money maybe (just a joke, but seriously?)?

Matt

suck my dick you old faggot :warning

:thumbsup

Most of those points I'd be embarassed to admit I thought were "good".

I love this part :1orglaugh

I wish Mooooore would fucking disapear. God damned (lucky) dumb ass.

If 90% of the major new media would not have been sucking democrate cock and reported the facts equally President Bush would have won by 20% or even more.
:feels-hot

Your out of your fucking mind! :1orglaugh

If the media ever reported all of the facts and stuck to them then Bush could have lost in a landslide to Mickey Mouse!

He's incredibly Liberal... I like Swartzenagger or however the fuck hi name is spelled

he's an inbetween guy

I subscribed to his list too, to see what he'd have to say. Like I've said before, Keep up the good work Mike! Everytime you open your mouth you generate more votes against the candidate whoms ass you've got your nose rammed so far up. He should have snail-mailed his message with razors enclosed if he really wanted his cronies to feel better.

:321GFY Moore

all people who dont agree with you are commies , eh?

:gaga

Perhaps the same way that Ohio is a poisonous nut simply for not agreeing with Moore?

Hey fuck off:BangBang:
Michael Moore is ALWAYS right! It´s true, cuz CNN said so:glugglug

Next time I see you, we'll have a sit down chat and I'll explain the concept of humor.

did _I_ say this?
and no, i am NOT Michael Moore

he should move to canada...i like that guy

I love Mike and always will he rocks :)

C'mon Danny.

You know damn well, when it's Moore who's being humorous, he's catering to his flock, who continue to take his words as gospel.

If BUSH however says something humourous, Moore's all over it to show the world what an insensitive prick he is.

Let me say this. Michael Moore makes you think. That's how his role should be taken. Nothing more, nothing less.

Those that say he's always full of shit are very narrow minded.

AS are those that think everything he says is factual.

Take what he says, and compare it to a couple of other sources and find out the true story.

Give him credit for bringing some things to our attention, but don't laud his efforts as being the be-all, end-all of the journalistic community.

I'm pretty sure he's just injecting humour into some of his points... unless he really is planning on dehydrating the great lakes.

yesterday i watched "Bowling For Columbine".. interesting documentary..
and let me say, i somehow liked canada while watching it :)
(atleast the city near the river(forget the name))hehe

i agree

" Michael Moore makes you think"


its not like "Michael Moore thinks for you.. if thats the case.. you need some serious help" :)

I was wondering if he was going to make a statement.

I do not see the next four years so optimistically for Americans.

Firstly Bush got in on a Christian Right Wing vote, these people now know they have power and worse still the Republicans best realise it as well if they want their man in office in 2008. Already abortion and gay marriages are in the firing line, who will be next?

Do you really believe Bush is going to turn around the economy in the next 4 years after he did little to nothing to improve it in the last four.

As for Iraq well that is a real shit sandwich and with Bin Laden releasing a video a week before the election there's little doubt who he wanted back in to continue the mayhem.

Will he attack anyone else? Doubt it, even he knows he fucked up with Iraq and is unlikely to be allowed to make the same mistake twice.

Will Iraq prove to be the pot of gold some thought it would be? About as much chance as winning the lottery is my guess.

Pardon me for asking, but....

Is there a warranty period in US elections?

Or some sort of 'voter's remorse' clause like they have for consumers of automobiles where they can return their 'purchase' within seven days?

Just curious...

-Dino

fuck that fat asshole

coors did more for the community than that faggot salazar ever did in the years he was attorney general

this fat fuck
i swear
since he likes monty python
i hope he supersizes himself until he explodes like that guy on monty python

you fat fucking asshole

michael moore is a penis

ya know if you paid attention to most of his work, you would find him to be as critical of everyone else as well.

next time inform yourself before you speak.

Sure, but also remember the Bush camp is throwing out that Bush got re-elected by the largerst majority ever based on the fact he got 59 million votes which trounes any other re-elected president, when the reason for this is increased population and turn out. The actual % is the key number.

Its all spin. Both sides do it, just ignore it.

Coors problem was the fact that the Jesus freaks that helped republicans elsewhere had issues with his selling of alcohol and using nearly naked women to do it.

He's FUN. I loved it when his PIMP went to Washington :)

By the same token more people voted AGAINST Bush than any other presidential winner. I'm quite sure if we had the popualtion we had now in 1984 or 1944 both Reagan and FDR would have had MUCH larger totals than Bush.

It frightens me that some of you are such left-wing kooks, you actually think the US Media is on Bush's side. :1orglaugh :helpme

I love michel moore he's awesome and it was a hell of an email...

Because of a personal experience, I have to count myself among the Moore supporters.

We went to see F 911 in the theaters. As we were walking out, the guy behind us said, quote: "I hope that commy faggot knows the only reason he can say all that treasonous shit is because he lives in the greatest country in the world!"

Curious, I turned to him and said "You really got out of that that he was knocking America?"

I was behind on getting a haircut (hair below my ears). I guess that explains his response to me: "Shut up, hippy."

I prefer not to be counted in whatever group that guy was (is) a part of.

in 50 years less than 50% of america will be white

is that true ?