GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - there is good in this world (long fucking post read if you are feeling down)

all of you God haters gtfo now because this is sappy.

you should be able to appreciate this no matter what or who you believe in.

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i actually cried tears today
not related to tupac or sean.

i actually feel touched. i know i'm going to cry again as i type this, so please bear with me.

today at 9:15, i was slated to meet a guy related to completing my community service hours that have been pending since the year 2000 regarding my nasa case. he works for a group that builds various structures (churches, schools, living quarters, etc.) in third world countries as part of a christian ministry. we meet at starbucks, and he offers to get me some coffee. i respectfully decline, however he insists so i accept his offer. we begin the usual small talk banter, engaging in the usual topics. he then notices my wedding ring and asks if i am married.

i explain to him the current situation and he leans forward in his seat. understand, i have never met this man before. he takes a genuine interest in what is going on in my life as if he were a close friend, trying to offer advice and offer an ear to listen. we talk about this in great length for about forty minutes. as we are leaving, another guy walks in who recognizes the man i was with and they begin talking. he then introduces me - "this is my friend, bryce." i am here as a result of community service for something criminal. granted, it isn't a violent crime or anything, but he introduces me to this complete stranger as his friend.

after that, we begin to discuss the matter at hand regarding what i can do for the ministry. we head back to his office and start talking about what he needs and what he's looking for. after we are done speaking, he goes back to what we were discussing earlier.

"you and your family will most definitely be in my prayers," he says.
"thank you very much, it's appreciated," i reply.
"do you mind if we say a prayer for you right now?"

the absolute gravity of that statement touched me on so many levels i was completely overwhelmed. here this man is, a perfect stranger, offering his time and his thoughts in my time of need, with no attempt to seek compensation. he simply wants to pray for my family and i out of the grace of his own heart. we bowed our heads and he spends about six minutes asking the Lord to guide me and my wife in this time of need and protect my daughter's emotions through all this so that she may be sheltered with God's love.

i broke down and cried. i realize now how much of a cynical, pessimistic person i have become. i used to be incredibly generous and philanthropic in every sense of the word. seeing this kind of goodness in others was such a reassuring beacon in my time of darkness. it has just been so long since i've seen genuine compassion from a stranger. compassion that has no motive. compassion that is absolutely pure and selfless.

it's very hard for me to construe into words exactly how much this moment has impacted me. ever since i got stabbed in the neck, i think i have remained vigilant to protect myself at all costs. the whole fiasco with my integra. getting laid off. all of these problems i was focusing on while i neglected to see how truly blessed i really am.

i have come to the conclusion that there is inherent good in people, and some are truly angels in every sense of the word. some people are out there to manipulate you, scam you, and hurt you in any way possible. i feel now that these people are only a product of their environment. by showing these people kindness above all else, as this perfect stranger did to me, they may realize that so much can be accomplished if we work together as a giant family.

i need to find it in my heart to forgive those people that have wronged me in the past. i need to find it in my heart to solve all of my problems with a positive approach rather than a pessimistic and paranoic (is that a word?) attitude. i have to simultaneously avoid being completely naive, however assuming the worst is such a negative trait of mine and there is good in any situation.

i'd like to think this meeting at starbucks was some sort of divine intervention, letting me know that everything is going to be alright. something set in motion as far back as 2000 to help me grow as a person. almost as if the whole reason i hacked nasa was to meet this man and speak with him and have myself in his prayers.

thank you, justin.