Oral Sex Linked to Mouth Cancer
 

"Some cases of mouth cancer could be caused by a virus contracted during oral sex, scientists have warned. Writing in New Scientist magazine, US researchers said the human papilloma virus, which causes most cervical cancers, may also cause oral tumours. Experts say heavy smoking or drinking causes most mouth cancers, but the HPV link could help explain why some young adults develop the rare disease. But they stressed people did not need to alter their behaviour. Oral cancer is rare, and tobacco and alcohol are by far the biggest causes." ? BBC (UK)

Half the newspapers that reported this story started off something like, "Well, that sucks!" However, although the statistics do show a convincing correlation between (giving) oral sex and (receiving) mouth cancer, apparently the odds are relatively small. It's like saying, "Don't cross the street or you might get hit by a bus." Well, yeah, it might happen, and you'd be wise to look both ways before crossing, but otherwise don't let that stop you. So too with oral sex. Make sure you know what you're putting in your mouth ? but otherwise don't let that "alter your behavior," as the scientists say.

Then again, somehow you can just hear the scientists unzipping their pants at the end of the study there. It must be hard to maintain your disinterested objectivity when it's a matter of discouraging people from rubbing their warm, wet tongues against your most sensitive parts. Doesn't every researcher in a situation such as this have a conflict of interest? As a scientist, you want truth, but as a living organism, you want pleasure. How do you arbitrate between the two? To be truly objective, sexuality research would probably have to be conducted by robots.

Then again, since ultimately robots are programmed by humans, that probably wouldn't work either. Perverted coders would program the bots to get voyeuristic kicks from the sight of their flesh-and-blood subjects getting kinky.

sucks to be you