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Time line if old but still funny...

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and
while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey
grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced
limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of
the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his
mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats
everything in sight, the little bum. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and
stuff.

" The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey
ate and leaves.

Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with
him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar
again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a
maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it.

Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see whatyour monkey did now?"

"No, what?" replied the man.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it
out, and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy "He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball,
he measures everything first."