I am obsessed with the past
 

I wish I could turn the clock back 4 years and start all over again. I miss my ex and I miss how things used to be.

Sigh. Sunday night depression kicking in.

havn't you lost a lot of weight?? isn't that a big confidence boost? why don't you go hit the bars and clubs and mingle?

Things arent what they used to be because life had to kick your butt because something wasnt right. Work harder and thnings will fall into place again.. better than before and with a better chance to last.

i keep telling you, all you have to do is come crawling back to me and admitting I was, am, and always will be the best lover you ever had.

Also admit you were wrong by cheating on me with Izzy

This has nothing to do with working harder.
I have learned a lot and the experience is invalueable... but I often wonder if I had chosen the other path what would have happened.

i am a black jew

thats really the issue at hand here man, lets focus

Not talking about 'working harder' as in making more money/business.

Yes, I was a dipshit and needed an asskicking I agree. And I got it real bad and learned from it. Still, I feel I made a couple wrong turns somewhere.

this is just the beginning of it all, get used to it bro... hit me up if you want to talk... we can share sobby stories. lol

Bradm, I get these moments too. Just go get laid. it helps.

The bad thing about life is that it forces you to work to a certain point and once you reach that point and are at the edge of enjoying it: life takes it away from you that very second.

The fact you made wrong turns means you progressed or tried to and wanted to change something that didnt feel right. Loits of people sit idle, dont make turns and end up wit hthe same shit for the rest of their lives.

Maybe you did fuck up but you also created the opportunity for something bigger and better. It will pay off.

i always try to think that now my life is much better than it ever was ... and there will be only more good and pleasant things in future.

I used to be the same way brad but over time i learned that the past is gone and alll i can do now is make the best of the present so i won't have to go through this again in the future. It might take a while but you'll get over your ex and all that :thumbsup

You're right mrthumbs.... thank you.

You need to stop worrying about what you could have done. Worry about what you are doing now. Why waste these years feeling sorry? There is a better girl out there than your x, you just have to find her.

Nah, that doesn't help when you're in a mood he's describing. All it does is leave you feeling a little more empty and depressed.

If this was me here's what I'd do for myself:

I'd take a walk downtown, alone, with a pocket full of 1's. I'd turn off my natural aversion to panhandlers and on my walk, when I passed someone that asked if I could spare any change, give them a couple of ones.

Then I'd simply continue walking, looking around the quaint little stores... smiling at babies I passed with their parents... enjoying the weather, no matter what the weather conditions. Appreciating life. I'd think a bit about the things I love in life. I'd reminisce about that ex but would try my best to push away the bad feelings and regrets for things I can't change. I'd think to myself that everything I do in life is a learning experience.

I might end up in Starbucks with my laptop, surfing the TMobile Hotspot while watching the people around me. Perhaps composing an email to the girl. Perhaps not. There's no reason why I'd have to avoid her memories. Those are part of my life. I cherish the good, bad and ugly. Those things make me what I am.

I'd stay the fuck away from GFY. There's a lot of negativity here, which definitely contributes to a poor mood.

I could go on and on...

Wow Donovan... thank you. I'm glad you replied.

Awww I understand completely where you are coming from! It took me so long to get over my ex that I started believing I never would but you know one day I realized I hadn't thought of her as much and then it kept happening and I am now just at the point where I dont think of her at all unless I want to!... Brad, I don't know you but I do know you are a smart and strong man and this may sound so sappy but time does heal all wounds and you will find a women who will appreciate you and makes you happy but you must let go of the past and make room in your life and heart for this new person before it can happen! Good luck and do something nice just for you!

I don't know how feasible it is for you, but just get in the car and drive. Or hop on a bus or plane and go somewhere. That's what I did last month and it did me good.

I know letting go can be hard, but living in the past is way harder.

Sadly I can't do that right now.

Damn :disgust

Financially, my trip was a bad idea, but I don't regret it at all.

Hit me up if you need some consolation cuddling.

who the fuck cares about the past i mean SERIOUSLY you only live once take everything as a possitive expierience no matter what and move on!

remember this is life, things go up and down and eventually come around! you may not see it now but there is always reasons that shit happens.


now have a beer my young jedi!

...but I often wonder if I had chosen the other path what would have happened.

The million dollar question. We'll never know. You can only trust that since your still alive that you made the right choice (what ever that choice may of been) even if it was painful at the time.

I have done a LOT of dumb things in my life but looking back, even though there were some times I wish I could repeat, I'd do it ALL the same because I'm very happy where I'm at today.

Ok... well... I almost would do it all the same. I would go back and take Spanish AND French in high school. I choose study hall because I was lazy. :Oh crap

No shit? So your the one that keeps giving me that handful of One's every month outside of Starbucks. Thanks! :thumbsup

You can trust they are used wisely... at the local strip club. :pimp

do you want another fan sign to cheer you up brad? :(

that has been 4 years now, move on man. But anyway, I have a friend like you but the best part of it all is that they ended up getting married. :)

I shall bear that in mind when I hit the radiography unit later this morning...

The moving on bit I can agree with, if only because you really don't have a choice. But my heart has been playing up for almost 10 years and put me out of action completely from late 2002 through spring 2004. Now I have prostate cancer, which luckily they caught early so the treatment I'm getting now has an excellent chance of fixing. But if I can ever get back to work full-time, I will be working for the hospitals for a long time to come.

Unless it has been character forming in some way I'm not yet aware of, it's a bit hard to see all that as a "positive experience" :)

if you keep questioning yourself, you are going to hinder yourself more than help. look at what you have gone through as an experience....one which you have learned from (hopefully) and apply that experience towards the future.

looking back on the past is good but only if you learn from it.