Top Ten Things George Washington Would Say If He Were Alive Today
 

10. Hey, that Donahue guy stole my wig!

9. You need some I.D.? How 'bout this dollar?

8. I'm on the single and that fat kite-flying weasel Ben Franklin is on the hundred?

7. Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett?

6. No, I'm not Barbara Bush.

5. I'm the first president of the U.S.; what do you mean I can't get Streisand tickets?

4. Did you see 'Seinfeld' last night? That Kramer is a riot!

3. Ben Franklin? Gay.

2. Would you please get your hands off Martha, Mr. Barker?

1. My god -- Sam Dondaldson is annoying!

Top Ten Signs Your Local Anchorman is Nuts


10. His so-called "co-anchor" is a six-pack of Bud.

9. Most of the stories from the local police involve him.

8. At least once per broadcast, publicly proposes to Susan Powter

7. After every story, he frantically washes his hands.

6. Puts on woman's wig and introduces self as "Connie Rather"

5. When local sports teams lose, he bursts into tears.

4. Wears big plastic cone around neck to keep him from nipping at microphone

3. Ends every newscast by screaming: "Goodnight mommy!"

2. Starts newscast over so he can be introduced with smoke, lights and dancing girls

1. All he's wearing is a necktie.

I'm guessing that list is about 10 years old

You know what... I like those...
I think I have heard them before but they were just what I needed before calling it a night! Keep it up and see what other classics you can dig up... hey if you can find it see if you can post the one about the ways to make hockey more exciting... I don't rember all of it but there was one on there that made me laugh so hard...
"only guys named stanley get to wear a cup".

booooooooooooooo

letterman havibg a going out of buisness sale?

Blah.. zzzzz ;)

Here it is, by special request!

Top Ten Ways to Make Hockey More Exciting


10. During playoffs, players dress up as their favorite Ice Capades character

9. Canadians must play in bare feet

8. All penalty minutes must be served sitting next to that guy who played "Doc" on "The Love Boat."

7. Just barely visible under ice: frozen body of Walt Disney

6. Replace Zamboni with Ford Bronco

5. Your New Jersey Devils starting goalie--Miss Katharine Hepburn

4. New snack bar item: player's missing teeth dipped in fudge

3. Every team roster must include one lesser known cast member from "The Love Boat"

2. Only guys named Stanley get to wear a cup

1. Let Michael Jordan take a crack at it

.. . . . . . . .. .

i'm pretty sure if Washington came back, he would be screaming "What did you idiots do to my country?" over, and over, and over again.

fuck all that... he'd be sayin, "why are all these slaves walkin' around without chains... go get me some cotton, bwah!"





..

Nah , most likely he would be on gfy clicking my sig :thumbsup