sigh. Advice needed [custody + visitation]
 

SO here's the story.

I left my ex and left her teh house and car and nevera sked fora penny out of her and offered her decent support payments.

However the only way I am allowed to see my son is if it's at teh mall for a couple hours or at her house for a couple hours. Never at my place. She is all upset that I had anothet girl move in with me. She see's it as I left her for my new girl. Not the case. But evn if it was, is sh justified in denying me the right to have my child at my own place?

I confronted her about this numerous times and this time it's because hsi birthday is comming. His first borthday, also, on that day he is being baptized.

I asked her if her uncle was going to be there (thing is he threatened to kill me if I didn't move out of the house I PAID for so to make things easier I left and ended up $6800 in debt over this leaving early thing.) and she said yes. So I said then "I'm not going. So could I have him over the following day so I can have a little birthday party here with my own family" and she said no because that "skank" is here. That skank happens to be my girlfriend. She said "you don;t want my uncle around William so I don't want that skank around him" and I said the only reason I won't drop it about ehr uncle is because of the way she goes on like a child about my girlfriend eing here when my son would be here. I told her she needs ot stop acting so fuckign childish about this and that she should start putting ehr son first instead of her own broken heart. Then she said "I don't trust you". That's when I said fuck this and told her "fuck you and your whole damn family, you're not getting a cent out of me anymore" and left. She doesn't trust me now supposedly because I lsot my temper with her a few times before. hell, she nagged and bitched and whined for hours on end because I couldnt spend time with her while Iw as working and payig all the bills. Who wouldn't snap?

Anyways... am I asking for too much to have her swallow her pride and feelings and let my little boy come visit his papa?

And no I can;t take her to court. She has teh support of a rich family behind her and I have a pretty big debt to deal with. Not to mention she'd just end up taking my whole pay in child support anyways.

Hmmmm, We must have the same ex.

Even if she has money, you need a lawyer for this shit, sounds like you got fucked

My ex's family had money and spent a fortune on her custody battle to get my kids, they didnt want the kids, they just didnt want me to have them, the court realized this, I ended up with full custody of all 5 of my kids and my lawyer was not expensive.

My advice, beg, borrow or steal, get a lawyer to handle this for you

Wow who would have guessed somebody like you was penniless? I for one am fucking shocked.

Where do you live? Were you married? Didn't you get a court ordered custody and visitation order? If not, why not?

Is it court ordered that you can only see him for a few hours in a public place/under her supervision? If not, take her bitch ass to court and teach that hoe a lesson.

Just read this part. You are wrong. You have rights, and money has nothing to do with it.

At one point in my life I had my ex paying me child support even though she had custody so that I could afford to have the kids with me.

To say she was pissed would be an understatement.

Where are you from? Now days, its about parenting....not all about the mother like in the 70's and 80's. The first thing I did was go down to the courthouse and get a court order for access to my chidren. In that order, I put down she wasn't to remove them from the province we live in, or else shit would hit the fan.

Nothig was writen or done in courts. We had a verbal agreement. Well, she did. I just had no say in it when it came to visitation variables.

Simply put. I just don't have the money to seek a lawyer for assistance.

Go away. I don;t need this shit.

I'm not peniless. I hav a roof over my head. I just can't afford to fight this.

Holy shit. that's classic.

I think that you need to hire an attorney. If you can not pay for one, maybe you could do some website design work for him, or maybe some other trade.

Take a peak at some online resources. Just a heads up but you are the father and should get 50% of the visitation. This means you pay zero child support. Different states have different laws but there is no need for the head in the sand thing on this. Also a lawyer is not going to run 10k. It is a lot cheaper then you think. Make a few calls and explain your case. lots of lawyers can tell you where you would be headed for free. See if you want that and hire them to make it happen.

Well, I guess you must be a Canadian, and I don't know how it works there, but here, if you can not afford an attorney, and she can, she would have to pay your fees.

Otherwise, if you have any intelligence, you can go to your local law library (found at a courthouse), get the practice guides and follow the instructions on how to file a motion for custody and visitation. You do not need an attorney to win in court.

Turns out that my province now gives legal aid in mediation services. This is what I need. A mediator to knowck some sense in to her and help us meet half way at best.

thanks for teh advice guys. I'v nvr bn through this shit before so it's all new territory for me. I think I'll giv my dad a call too and see what he has to say since my mom did the same thing to him for 18 years.

take her to court, even if it will cost you some $.... it should be worth it to see your kid.

Okay well here's some real options:

- Check with the local Universities and see if they have a Law College. You may be able to get free advice from this source. I know the University of British Columbia has a service provided by Law students for nothing or next to nothing.

- Many places have these just in case type of Lawyer "clubs". You pay $60 for a year, for instance, and you're entitlted to legal advice on the phone, and in some cases even lawyer visits as part of that. You might be able to use their advice and your leg work and put it all together.

- Check for local single father support groups. Check at your local churches, schools, etc to see if there's any groups in your area. At very least there'll probably be somebody with more experience in this than you. You'd be surprised what resources are available but just not advertised.

oh and whoever your boss is, tell him off and quit.... he sounds like scumbag.

It's very simple.

As a father you have rights to visitation with your child. No Judge would deny you access to your child unless the mother had valid reasons that would prove that you are incapable of providing proper care of your child. Subpoena her to court and represent yourself. If you're clean, then it is a non issue.

I need him around... he pays in blowjobs

They're all the same, bro.

Fucking awesome. :bowdown

yep. can't argue with that.

You need to get a legal access order written up. If you two can't agree on something & have a lawyer draft & file it together, then you need to go to court. You have NO visitation right now. Going to court can only give you more time with your child. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

Get your paperwork in order so you can quickly provide your previous tax returns, current expenses & EVERY SINGLE receipt for stuff you've bought for your kid & support payments you've made.

Child support is based on your income. It's a set rate that is the same for everyone in that income bracket. She will probably try to claim that you've never paid a dime (very common), so get started now by paying directly through the gov. They pull it out of your bank every month, pay her & it's all kept track of so you don't have to produce receipts every time she feels like taking you back to court over the next 18 years.

Child custody is bullshit. It takes two people to produce a child, and it should take two people to raise a child - both the mother and the father. I fail to understand why one parent has full custody and the other parent has "limited visitation rights" and has to pay support. That's clearly not a fair system.

Get an attorney.