Attention in the club! The DJs Speak! Hahahahaha
 

this is some funny shit! as long as i have been djing, my boy who wrote this nailed it on the head!

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Memorandum To All Clubbers :

From: Mikey Beats

Date: Today

READ AND MEMORIZE!
----------------------------

So hilarious, yet so true...

The next time you're out at the club, look at your dj. Do you think we are really concerned about what you have to say? The answer is no, we do not. What we do is play music, and we do it for the money and/ or the soul so please help us out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should respect that.

There are SO many people out there flooding the clubs w/o any knowledge of how to act. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow in regards with communication with the dj. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse.

1. "It's my friends birthday..."

I don't give a fuck nor do the 500 other people who are at the club with you. I don't care how cute you are or if you are VIP. If you ain't showing titties, have a shot in your hand or a fist full of loot, "I don't have a mic, sorry..." Fellas...Don't even think about it.

2. "Can you play..."

No, fuck you. I am the dj, not you. The promoters are paying me to play what I play, not you. If you got the itch to be a dj, iPod bitch!

3. "Do you play house/reggae-tone/rock/hiphop???"

No, fuck off. So many people have their head so far up there asses they don't know what the fucks up. Check it out, there are these things called fliers, eh? These are promotion tools. Read the fucking flier and see what room plays what God damned music. I play HOUSE!!!. Fuck you!

4. "Can you speed/slow it up/down???"

Fuck you. I am working the crowd. If the music is slow, go get a drink. That's why the music is slow so your dumb ass goes to the bar and spends money. When I see you with a full drink, I play your favorite track so you pound the drink and come dance. I do this all night long. That's why they pay me.

5. "Can I dance on stage???"

Bitch, you're wasted! You think I am going to put the club at risk as well as my job so you can slip and fall and sue everyone? Fuck you!
We pay the dancers for a reason...

6. "Can you play the sweaty balls song???"

Look, the song is called "Get Low" and is by Lil John. Get it the fuck right. Besides, does your white daddy know you dance like a whore?


Now if you don't get your way, don't be a little bitch and throw a fit. Just walk away, go to the bar and buy another drink. Whatever you do, do not touch the fucking needle on the record. I will fucking kill you! Too many times I have had these priss bitches get mad and pull on the tone arm. What the fuck?! Are you that new you fucking twat?! I will give you two black eyes then have two black guys drag you out by your weave you filthy little cum dumpster!

One last thing, while we are on the subject, back the fuck up! Give me some fucking room! You bump the tables I bump your head, dig?!

Repost this shit. Tell everyone.


Mikey Beats '05






word up mikey! you nailed it yo!

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

lol the sweaty balls song

I dunno most of them seem on point but my ol lady always requests some sorta song at some point in the club and it always ends up getting played.

why have i never heard the sweaty balls song?

yeah! i'll play songs for chicks as long as it fits in with what im already doing. the guy that wrote this is frustrated. lol.

sounds like it's very rough being a dj, getting hassled like that all the time

LOL !
I spend my life in clubs, I appreciate that one a lot ! (even though I'm not a DJ)

Da Frog

Yea stuff she requests is always in line with whats playing, and it prolly doesnt hurt that shes decent looking and most likely boobs poking out of whatever outfit shes wearing.

hey man you got myspace?


add me www.myspace.com/djairek :)

that helps :)

you play at clubs where people request songs? sounds pretty trashy...

THats too funny lol

people find ways to request shit.

you don't obviously know me, so don't be a dick. :321GFY

Ive never been to a club where a hot chick cant find her way to the dj booth and request something... multiple major cities involved.

dead fucking on

if the dj booth is in an area where the crowd can walk up or shout to you, you get each one of those on a nightly basis

usually the type of places which have people requesting tracks are meat markets or top 40 joints who want shoutouts because it's a friends b/day...


maybe it's the places i go to but i NEVER see girls (hot or not) going up to a dj requesting a track to be played...

OK. So then if I send him the Whore of his choice that comes bearing a drink, and a nice big tip, he plays what I want?

well trashy whores don't usually get in to begin with... sounds like you're after a jukebox rather than a dj...

but if you're into sleazefests and top 40 music go for it at least you're having fun... what you need to realise is the places i go to are mainly for people who want to hear specific sounds... hence NO requests...

not true at all...I have dj'ed RAVES before and people do that shit

ANY club where the dj booth has close access to the crowd get that shit....I have worked at some high class fucking clubs, with strict dress codes and not one trailer trash girl around....and they still come up and ask stupid shit....the birthday one is by far the most requested, at least 3-4 times a night

when I am djing, a nice big tip will always get you a birthday announcement, but I never take requests, my stuff is way underground....but I get asked all the time

you're telling me what i'm saying isn't true? fact is i haven't seen people at the venue's i regularly attend request songs...

if you read what i said above in that quote i was generalising and being sarcastic... you don't agree that the 'majority' of places which request songs are top 40 or drunken sleazefest joints?


but in the end... it's all about having fun...

haha the clubs down here which i attend to, the mic is only used to announce a special guest or international act... i guess it varies in different countries...

the majority of places that have people requesting songs is the majority of clubs

in the end, you kind of have the be the dj up there for 4-5 hours a night to really have experienced it....but it does happen, and I am sure it happens in the clubs you hit, but usually the dj just ignores any people coming up to the booth, that is what I usually do, unless they have a nice tip in their hand...haha

i will say this....props to australia dude....i have seen examples of their scene, and you are probably right, it probably is more of a drunk american thing....

australia has a kick ass scene, and the club goers are some of the most educated in the world when it comes to dance music

i can't wait to go over there one day and party

i've dj'd at events on and off for the last 5 years... i haven't had one person request a song... but i've had people come up to me asking what a certain song i played was or after i finished a set wanted to talk about the music i played...

i mainly go to minimal nights or deep house venues so people just enjoy the music being played and let the dj do his job...

yeah the scene in melbourne is really nice... techno unfortunately is dead now... lots of house mainly being played all over the joint... but it offers everything... should check out inthemix.com.au great place for news happening in australia...

I think your buddy needs to find a better club to spin at :2 cents:

oh yeah, i am on inthemix

breaks.com.au is another one I have been keeping up with

from what I have seen, there is a kickass breaks scene down there :)

techno is dead in a lot more places than australia.....you can't even find a single techno dj here in atlanta

yeah breaks is big down here... i don't dig it much myself but it has a big following...


yeah the techno thing is a bit sad... although it still seems to be pretty healthy in some parts of europe like france UR just finished touring there and Jeff Mills dj'd with a symphony... and also big in japan... you might also find this a cool read... http://blog.excite.co.jp/jeff05 <--- jeff mills' blog good info/news/pics...

dude are you fucking serious....bitches grab the fuckin needle if they dont get their way.....grounds for an 86'n plus the black eyes ;)

seriously though...I would nut the fuck up....and sick the whole fuckin dance floor on her...

dude, techno is SOOOO huge is japan, they freaking love that shit

actually a buddy of mine here in Atlanta is HUGE is Japan, you might have heard of him, he does a lot of underground techno stuff, Richard Devine

nah haven't heard of him... does he make tracks?

whoa just did a google search... is this his site?

http://www.richard-devine.com

really nice stuff on there and he's on warp as well... awesome... whoa done remixes for herbert as well... herbert is nuts...

http://www.google.com/search?sourcei...richard+devine

he does it all....and the funny thing is, he is sponsored by Apple, Native Instruments and ton of other companies...and he still lives in his parents basement...he has a full professional studio in that fucker, it is hilarious, but he loves it

yup, that is him

the part that sucks about Rich living here in Atlanta is that the techno scene here is D E A D

he did a show last year here, a full live setup, he brought all his gear out and everything...and 150 people showed up, and that is in and out of the door all night...there couldn't have been more than 50 people in the place at one time

JACE is a PIMP!

the GOON hand is strong.

Hahaha, that's classic. Think i'll start posting that on the background of the flyers we put out lol

lol.. this one is good :pimp