What's Your Best Joke?
 

Hanging out with friends - I like to drop a new joke that makes them wet themselves. Yeh, I'm a sick fuck =)

So what's your best joke? (doesn't need to be graphic... just funny)

I'll start - this happens to be one of mine that gets the most laughs. (guess it tells you the type of people I hang around)


Q: What's the difference between a baby and a bath tub?

A: You can't Fuck a bath tub.

Q. What's the difference between an



never mind.... I'll just end up answering for this all night.

My best one is in french...

Pet pis repete sen vont en bateau.
Pet tombe a leau...
Qui est-ce quil reste?

REPETE!

Thats damn funny uh?

And sorry, my keyboard is installed in english so I cannot type any accents :helpme

Q: What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

A: With a porcupine the pricks are on the outside!

Top 10 Ways to Tell if a Redneck is Using Your Computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
2. The keyboard is painted in camoflague.

And the number #1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on your computer is....

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".....

Earl Pitts - Native Uhmericun Redneck.


I like #7 for some reason. Just sounds funny.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get hit by a car.

That is about the funniest god damn thing I have read it WEEKS!!! ROFLOL!!

Keep 'em coming...

I guess I could add one of my own.


Q: What don't witches wear underwear?

A: Better grip on the broom.


:Graucho :Graucho :Graucho

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom

How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed

What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
Say, "Nice Dick"

Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A Bingo Machine

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong

How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say Fuck?
Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "Bingo"

Q: how did helen keller burn her hand?

A: she tried to read the waffle iron.

Q: how did she burn the right side of her face?

A: the phone rang, and she answered the Iron.

Q: How did she burn the Left side of her face?

A: They called back !

Q: How does Hellen Keller's mom get back at her daughter?

A: Re-arranges the furniture on her.

A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for some 69."
She says, "It's that time of the month, but if you don't care, I don't care."
They go into the bedroom, and are 69'ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings.
She says, "Answer the door."
He says, "But my face is a mess."
She says, "It's just the postman. Answer the door, and if he says anything,
just tell him you were eating a jam sandwich."
He opens the door and says, "I'm sorry about my mouth, I was eating a
jam sandwich."
The mailman says, "I wasn't looking at the jam on your mouth...I was
looking at the peanut butter on your forehead."

When out with your friends ask one of them:

you: Yo have you ever seen a HUGE black guy fucking a bitch real hard?
he: No
you: Go home fast!

Q: what does your GF say after 10 divine orgasms?
A: Thanks < your name here >

DynaMite