I Got Jokes
 

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%

It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Some oldies but goodies... :winkwink:

Q: What did the gay guy do when he missed his boyfriend?
A: Shat in his hand and had a wank.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job will still suck.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you find a fat woman's pussy?
A: Flip through the folds until you smell shit, then go back one.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What goes "click click click, is that it?, click click click, is that it?...."
A: A blind man with a Rubiks cube.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How many gay guys does it take to put in a light bulb?
A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you fuck an ugly woman?
A: Jerk off in your hand and throw it at her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How does every ethnic joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

You shouldn't talk about women that way, you are a lib and being of a lib mind you should behave in the correct politically correct manner:

http://loryntaylor.com/women.jpg

Some good ones here..Brings back some memories from high school lol

Har har..those were great

Don't be sexist... bitches hate that shit