Top 10 Rules for Running a Successful Affilate Program
 

:Graucho

10. Treat your affiliates like they're lucky to be sending you traffic

9. All surfers are suckers: it is your job to remind them

8. Start a war on every board and flame everyone that replies

7. Hire/fire your sales staff on a weekly basis

6. Go to every show, get wasted at every party and disrepect everyone you meet

5. Act like Internet porn is a get-rich-quick scheme, not a "real" business

4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join

3. Don't waste time delivering what your promised

2. Keep your cross-sales in the fine print where they belong

1. Always remember: YOU ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING PIMP. THE WORLD IS YOUR BITCH.


B

P.S. If you are tired of programs that act like the above is actually true, try sending your traffic to...

why did you copy lightspeeds post?....

ROFL... Did I copy his thread? I don't think so. I wrote the above a long time ago but Steve's post inspired me to finally start the thread. If you read it you would see that only #6 is the same, and that is a coincidence. But thanks anyway!


B

damn :(

most of it true , except #1 . last one who asked me too many questions about my site got his fhg delleted from my system.

Actually I hear those methods work.

I think they did in 1999 but I'm not sure about today. I wouldn't know, I started my program in 2000. :)


B

Whats up Barry!


Mr. Romance

straight talkin from the hip Barry

That's too funny, Barry. Thank you for the afternoon giggle.

ahahahahha #3 is my favorite to run into ... especially after #6 ...

twinkley

Damn it we are doing everything all wrong :(

i will take all those points down as good advice

#8 is very appropriate, specially here:1orglaugh

those are great barry :)

funny and sad at the same time.

Classic! :thumbsup

your sexy

ROFLMAO! Nice! :1orglaugh

well put

WebCamCash is the shiznit!:thumbsup

How many Top 10 threads are going to be opened tonight?

Must be a trend. :)


B

Good work Barry! Webcamcash is top-notch, you and Derek work hard to keep it that way.

If you want to experience another program with none of the above hassles and nonsense, click my sig!

haha, nice! Will I bee seeing you in Montreal this weekend?

HEY!!
what about me and Hazel??? come on now, where is the LOVE?!?!

that is funny and sad at the same time.

B , can u send me some free money ? ;)

Thanks for the rules to Follwo ;)

4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join

thats a bad thing? i mean seriously, better to underpromise and underconvert?

Send me your traffic ---------------- see sig

I've been around since '99 and i'm a Toronto dog too - you promote me lol

You aren't really serious here, are you Hooper? Would you flat out lie on your tour if it makes the site convert better?

i love vicodin

Just check the sig.

#1 should have been shaving is what makes the world go round.

:):):):)

haha! :1orglaugh
thanks for the advice!
don't have an affiliate program but it can be pretty useful in the future

send traffic and use my affiliate code

lol, at least you plug the site in a funny way! :thumbsup

okay, thanks, taking notes right now....

:1orglaugh

It is just a joke. I guess #4 is only funny when you read it with #3:

4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join
3. Don't waste time delivering what your promised


B

You mean I'm really not a motherfucking pimp, and the world is not my slutty whore? ...Damn

No those rules applied to everyone but you. You really ARE the pimp! :)


B

No I can't make it, I wish I could.

Please hit me up on ICQ... we have lots to discuss!


B