| notabook |
10-04-2006 09:46 PM |
The Greatest Random Story Ever Told or How Ice Spent His 20k Post
Approximately 17,000 years ago an alien species known as the Geleil first visited a small blue sphere in the Sol solar system of the Milky Way Galaxy. Their intentions were fairly unknown; did they go merely want to visit this strange world full of life of all variance out of curiosity, or were their intentions more devious in nature? Did they want to help nurture the planet and help its species grow, or did they want the planet for themselves? Whatever their intentions may have been they seemed to have a keen interest in the sphere as they made many visits to the pale blue dot over the years and it appears that their interest continues to grow.
None of this of course matters because this isn?t a story about the Geleil. This is a story about a guy named Tommy and his want? neigh, need to fit in with his fellow peers. Tommy wanted nothing more than to fit in with his peers and he attempted to do so by dressing up in preppy clothes and fancy hats but nothing he did managed to appease his peers. They constantly avoided Tommy and wanted nothing to do with him? even after all of his work Tommy just could not fit in. You see, this is because Tommy was a flea and he was trying to impress a group of humans and humans hate fleas, especially talking ones.
Tommy had a dream and he was willing to give it his all to obtain it. Tommy used his power of instantaneous taco-creation to finally gain the hearts (and stomachs) of the general populous. As he created more and more tacos he won over many friends and potential allies. Tommy kept feeding his tacos to all of those who wished to eat them until nearly the entire population loved and revered Tommy the flea and they even went as far as to worship him as the eighth wonder of the world. Suddenly though people around the world started to get sick and die by the thousands? they begged their idol for help and he merely looked down upon them with an oh-so-evil grin.
You see, Tommy?s tacos were poisonous to humans and all of them who had been gorging themselves on his creations were slowly being killed. Soon the entire planet was almost devoid of human life, the last few that hadn?t died yet asked Tommy why he did such a devious and heartless thing. Tommy responded to them, laughing the entire time: Because I?m an asshole. Then the last few humans threw up bloody chunks everywhere and shit a horrible torrent of steaming hot diarrhea all over the place as they died a horrible painful death from Tommy?s poisonous tacos.
Moral of the story: Don?t trust talking fleas that have the power to magically manifest tacos right before your eyes as they will most likely be poisoned because talking fleas, especially ones named Tommy, are assholes.
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