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Im Not Gay!
Hindustani Troublemaker: I am not gay!
Willie: What the hell, buddy. Hindustani Troublemaker: Buddy? I said I am not gay! Willie: Are you off your fucking meds or something? Hindustani Troublemaker: Yes. But that isn't what this is about. You're as queer as a ten dollar bill. Willie: Let me tell you something, motherfucker. My brother lost a goddamn arm fighting you fuckers in Vietnam. So I want you to look at me. I want you to look at my face one last fucking time. This is the last thing you're ever gonna see before I... Hindustani Troublemaker: [grabs Willie and pins him against the car] Elf fucker! Motherfucker. Elf fucker! Who's the bitch now, Santy Claus? Faggy Claus! Faggy... Kid: Leave Santa alone! Hindustani Troublemaker: Little boy, don't interfere. I am doing this for all of us. Kid: Leave Santa alone! Hindustani Troublemaker: [Willie pulls free. Hindustani Troublemaker turns to leave] Ass clown. |
Comedy Central
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i am too not gay, but i am drunked, so am i off topic here?
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Bob Chipeska: Hi. Bob Chipeska. Welcome. Great photo and resume by the way. Marcus: Thanks. You know, we've been at this for a long time and all, so we like to think we do a good job. Bob Chipeska: You two are perfect for this job, truly. So, I don't want his unpleasentness affect your performance in any way. Marcus: Oh no. We... Willie: Performance? Bob Chipeska: Yes. Your performance. You know, the... Willie: Do you mean sexual? [Bob looks up at Willie in confusion] Bob Chipeska: Excuse me? Willie: Are you saying there's something wrong with my gear? Is that what you're saying to me? Bob Chipeska: I'm sorry, your gear? Marcus: Willie... Willie: My fuck stick [Bob makes a disgusted look] Marcus: Willie, take a seat. You know how your blood sugar is. Bob Chipeska: He's not going to say fuck stick in front of the children, is he? Marcus: No! It was just a joke. An adult joke. For us, adults. It's a joke. Just a joke. |
Not that there is anything wrong with it
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Woman in Food Court: Look who's here! It's Santa! Tell Santa what you want for Christmas!
Willie: [yelling] I'm on my fucking lunch break, OK? Woman in Food Court: The manager's going to hear about this. Willie: You think you're a threat? You think you can make my fucking life any worse? Go ahead, take a shot! |
Kid: What are their names?
Willie: Who? Kid: the elves. Willie: Jesus, I dunno, I just call them all bub, y'know? or 'hey you'... [suddenly bolts upright] Willie: Jesus Christ! What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't remember this shit! Does everything gotta be a fucking test with you? Kid: How old are they? Kid: [while Willie is trying to sleep] Want cookies? Willie: No. Kid: Want milk? Willie: No. Kid: Want me to fix you some sandwiches? Willie: What the fuck is it with you and fixin' fuckin' sandwiches? |
This thread makes my elbow itch........
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:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh
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Willie: What the fuck are you talking about? Kid: This car. Willie: Which turn is it? Kid: Sage Terrace. Where's your sleigh? Willie: It's in the shop, getting repaired. Kid: Where are the reindeer? Willie: I stabled them. Is it left or right? Kid: That way. Where's the stable? Willie: Next to the shop. Kid: How do they sleep? Willie: Who? The reindeer? Standing up. Kid: But the noise. How do they sleep? Willie: What noise? Kid: From the shop. Willie: They only work during the day, all right? Kid: I thought it was always night at the North Pole. Willie: Well, not now. Right now it's always day. Kid: Then how do they sleep? Willie: Oh, shit. Sage Terrace. What is it with you, anyway? Somebody drop you on your fucking head? Kid: On *my* head? Willie: Well, yeah. What, are they gonna drop you on somebody else's head? Kid: How can they drop me onto my own head? Willie: No, not *onto* your... Would... God damn it! Are you fucking with me? |
Not gay but am pro other people's happiness and do not mind a good musical or show toon now and then.
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Willie: Is that your underwear?
Kid: Part of it. Willie: Where the hell's the rest of it? [the kid opens his mouth to speak] Willie: Actually, don't tell me. I don't want to know. What do you want? Kid: I was thinking I wanted a purple stuffed elephant, not pink. But now I changed my mind. Willie: Yeah? What? Kid: Now I don't want an elephant at all. I want a gorilla named Davy for beating up the skateboard kids who pull on my underwear. And he can take his orders from the talking walnut, so it won't be my bad thing. [Santa looks at the kid in confusion] Willie: Jesus, kid. When I was your age, I didn't need no fucking gorilla. And I wasn't as big as one of your legs. Four kids beat me up one time and I went crying home to my daddy. You know what he did? Kid: He made it all better? Willie: No, he kicked my ass. You know why? Kid: Because you went to the bathroom on mommy's dishes? Willie: What the fuck? No! Kid: He tried to teach you not to cry and be a man? Willie: No. It's because he was a mean, drunk, son of a bitch. And when he wasn't busy busting my ass, he was putting cigarettes out on my neck. The world ain't fair. You've gotta take what you need when you can get it. You've gotta learn to stand up for yourself. You have to stop being a pussy and kick these kids in the balls or something. [the kid stares at Santa] Willie: Or don't. Shit. I don't care. Just leave me the hell out of it. Kid: Okay. Thanks Santa. |
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:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
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thats one of my favourite movies :thumbsup
its awesome :) |
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ok thanks.
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I want a sequel to that movie :(
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