I'm seeking reparations cause I'm white!
 

Never in USA history has it ever been this disadvantageous to be a heterosexual Christian white male. I'm seeking reparations. Too many god damn minorities have besmirched my rights by overstating the obstacles they have to overcome. I would like to invite all of you that qualify to join the National Coalition for Advancement of Potential Presidents (NCAPP) because we are all kings. Somebody fucking owes us!