funny pickup lines....?
 

I"m new in town, could I have directions to your house?

I may not be fred flinstone buy I can make your bed rock!

that one is just amazing!!!!

Hi, I make more money than you can spend. that one should get them every time.

You couldn't handle 10 inches

" I don't know your name, but your skirt is familiar"

Hi, will you help me find my puppy, I think he went into that cheap hotel accross the street.

this one rocks :thumbsup

Get your ass up in the air and I'll be with you in a minute...Jack Nicholson

10 Psycho Pick-Up Lines

1. Didn't I see you on the grassy knoll?

2. Can I buy you a spatula?

3. Bet you're wondering why I have no nostrils.

4. Your crawlspace or mine?

5. You look like the kind of person who appreciates catheters.

6. May I lick your forehead?

7. Do you always wear your shoes over your socks?

8. Smeep. Smeep. Smeep.

9. What's your favorite flavor of wood?

10. You've stolen my heart, but I have three more back home in the freezer.

I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freazer.

"scream and I'll kill you"

How about $35?

sssshhh, just lay in the ice and don't say a word.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:error

:laughing-

I knew that was coming :Oh crap

You know... (:look woman from head to toe, and then back to her eyes: )... I can make you walk funny.

Actually batting .250 on that one. :winkwink:

I'd bet nearly any amount of money you guys rarely - if ever - get laid.

Grow a pair, and move beyond the gynophobia, eh? :disgust

nice legs..what time they open?

heh some of those are hilarious

I hate to rain on your parade, but yours really wasn't any better. :winkwink:

I love every bone in your body, especially mine

Hey... it worked once! :1orglaugh

And when it didn't, it always got a laugh. :thumbsup

The ones that I quoted on that post were just... disturbing. Mine hinted at rough sex with a large penis... theirs strongly suggested actual violence against women.

I'd say that's a difference. :disgust

you must be an astrologer because my libra is rising

you must be in the kkk because i think we'll have a lot of fun once we get under the sheets

you must be grand theft auto: san andreas because once i get inside of you i'm going to do all sorts of illegal things

you must be herbal essences because masturbating with you is a totally organic experience

you must be a 0day topsite because I just wanna max out your slots

you must be an HTTP status code because all i'm getting is: 402 Payment Required

you must be Frogger because I would cross rush hour traffic and cascading rivers in order to hop in your hole 6 times in a row

you must be a dialup internet connection because every time i want to do something useful on the phone i have to shut you up

you must be a rare warez release because after i get my hands on you, i'm going to pass you off to all of my friends


you must be the warp core of the starship enterprise because if you ever start acting up i will dump you

you must be a game of texas holdem cuz i just wanna go all in

you must be OSX because you're beautiful and alluring but mostly worthless

you must be a free porn website, because after one 10 minute visit i'll never see you again

you must be internet explorer because you give me popups all the time

you must be a hydroponic grow system because i cant wait to introduce my seeds

you must be aol instant messenger because i'd like to see all of my buddies on you

you must be haggis cause you make me want to stuff you with old meat

you must be an internet forum because i am about to try and impress you using my stale in jokes from 1998

some idiot once used this on me, "can i kiss you where you wee" obviously was going to kiss the toilet, :1orglaugh

you must be a drow elf sorceress because you have cast level 3 ensnare on my heart

did you install back orifice 2000 on me because you just caused my cd tray to eject

you must be alan greenspan because you have just raised my interest rate by several percentage points

you must be a sata2 hard drive because you are modestly increasing my pipe

you must be a .bin with no .cue file because I have to wrangle with you for hours only be burned in the end

you must be java bytecode because you let me use you anywhere I want

you must be a microsoft product because when i find your holes i'm going to exploit them

you must be internet explorer because you give me popups all the time

you must be charles barkley because i want to take you to the hole but i doubt you would be impressed with my full-court press

you must be an o'reilly technical manual because despite your high price tag, you never say anything meaningful

you must be from stdout because i'd like to pipe you

you must be London because I want to explode inside your tunnel

you must be open source because the entire fucking high school class has seen your internal workings and tinkered with them

you must be Doom 3 cause when the action starts the lights go out

you must be a black market organ harvester cause you just stole my heart

You: excuse me did you just feel my ass? Girl: no you: why not?


Oh my god, I thought I was gay... then I met you.


You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!


You've been a bad girl. Go to my room.

Too many gog searches..becoming lame...

YET THE BEST "Tested" one is:

I'm gay and need a friend.:pimp
:321GFY

you must be a playground slide because i want to go down on you repeatedly

you must be a rodeo bull because i want to ride you for 8 seconds and then get off

i like my urls like i like my women...dirty and mangled

i must be dick cheney because i want to fire my weapon into your back

i must be the u.s. senate because i'm totally rejecting your timetable for withdrawal of my troops

you must be gasoline because even though you're pricey, I'm still going to pump you in my van

you must be Six Flag's newest roller coaster because some rednecks told me that they have been saving up their money all summer to ride you

you must be herpes because every time I think i'm rid of you, there you are on my dick

you must be real networks because i cannot get at your media without installing this ridiculous software

you must be muslim cause im jihard as hell

you must be an NES cartridge because i will blow on your slot until you start functioning

you must be a taxidermy lab because you make me want to stuff a cock in you

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh :thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup

http://djforum.free.fr/smileysmileys...ley.com.54.gif

(wipe your finger on your cocktail glass, touch her shoulder) We've gotta get you out of those wet clothes

You: Do you sleep on your stomach? her: (yes|no|what?) You: Mind if I do?

Did you wash those pants in lemon fresh joy? I can see myself in them.

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

nah, I got that one from t-shirt hell, I don't think I've ever had to use a pick up line.

You: I think you're beautiful and I would love to spend the night with you. Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?
Her: Yes, of course
You: How about twenty-five dollars?
Her: Hell no, what do you think I am, a whore?
You: We have already established that, now we are negotiating a price...

My all time favorite..

Nice hair. Wanna Fuck?

I think, any girl can be bought, literally this word, there would be cash :)

Are you from Tennessee ??

Her reply - "No, why ?"

because you're the only "Ten I See"

Lol, there are actually some nice ones in this thread.....

"Want to see what it's like to ride in the trunk of my car?!"

"Want to see what it's like to ride in the trunk of my car?!"

I've always liked.....

Giiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrl...you make my dick hard.