Invasion: China is tunneling through the earth
 

BEIJING -- Communism-crazed leaders in Red China have reportedly embarked on a bizarre new plan to invade America -- by digging a tunnel right through the center of the Earth!

A U.S. intelligence source claims that the ambitious, top-secret project is well under way and that Chinese tunnel rats have already dug down a mind-bending 104,000 feet -- nearly 20 miles beneath the Earth?s surface.

?If all goes according to plan, within six years they?ll break through on the other side, we believe somewhere in Oklahoma, around the Bartlesville area,? reveals the high-level source at the National Security Agency (NSA).

?Roughly 500 million bloodthirsty, screaming Chinese troops will come pouring out of that hole -- hell-bent on a bold mission to conquer the United States, reduce our people to slavery and seize all our women.?

The People?s Tunnel, as the ultra-secret project is known, was originally the brainchild of Chairman Mao Zedong, father of modern-day China.

?Back in the late 1960s, when China and the United States were at each other?s throats, Mao proposed building such a tunnel,? says the source. ?But at the time, it just wasn?t technically feasible because the drilling equipment available in China was so primitive. After Nixon went to China and U.S.-Sino relations started to warm up, the plan was put on the back burner.?

But two years ago, Chinese leaders took a fresh look at the idea.

?China has over a billion people and it doesn?t have the resources to feed them,? says the source. ?Because of the one-child-per-family policy and widespread abortion for sex-selection, men outnumber women by many times.

?They need grain, they need land -- and most of all, they need women.?

yeah ok...

Massivecock, is that you again?

I hope they remember this half-baked planet has a chewy red center.

Someone been reading The Onion?
WG

:glugglug

[H] as in hardocp ?

Bartlesville, Oklahoma? Damn, that is only an hour away.. good thing I like Chinese food!

Chickety China, the Chinese chicken.. you have? :drinkup

You mean I will finally get laid ?

Metaform You here this? you can start up a rice rocket dealeship, it will do excellent

watch out Oklahoma, the chinese mole people are coming.

:1orglaugh

LOL

They should at least make these jokes more realistic.
Digging a whole from China through the
center of the Earth would end up in the Southern Hemisphere.

I tried this when I was a kid. Good fucking luck. I hit water in 5 minutes, gave up, and went back inside and played pacman.

oh wow those chinamen are some funny fucks. what would be just so american like is 1 trigger happy american commando with a few grenades. he chucks them into the hole when they get close and it becomes congested with china-men parts. that blows their whole plan..

why dont they just take one of the tanker ships to america, kidnap a whole shitload of our ugly women and female prisoners, and haul ass back to china.

US troops have some work to do....
:)

you are so right pipe! maybe if I have a rice rocket dealership, the chinese will allow me to live while they enslave you and the rest of the rice haters. Make sure you don't piss off Jun Wu Tu too much, or he may just give you some of his man love

Wow, someone else who shared the samed problem as me when I was a kid. Glad to know there's someone else out there :)

if they get stuck in the tunnel ya think the US will dispatch a rescue team?

I got linked on HardOCP once for my last site.. Slashdot a few times too.. Woop

?They need grain, they need land -- and most of all, they need women.?

haha hide your wives cause here they come! :1orglaugh

Let them invade , I should be able to handle at least 30 of the little guys.