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Chuck Norris Jokes - Post your Fav.
When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the Earth down
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh |
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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When the boogeyman goes to bed, he has his mom check his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read the Bible, he stares it down until it talks.
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The atom bomb isn’t real.. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground...
Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse a horse is hung like him.. |
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity..... twice!
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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make him drink.
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You can't forget the family guy one:
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin, just another fist! |
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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Chuck Norris walked into Burger King and ordered a Big Mac.....and got one.
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I used to love chuck jokes until I found out what a backwoods bible beater he is.
It was a sad day. |
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is always hiding.
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Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure. Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas when he goes to sleep. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. |
Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
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Visit google and type in find chuck norris and click im feeling lucky.
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Funniest one yet IMO.
Google "find chuck norris" and click "I'm feeling lucky" and you get http://www.amateurcleavage.com/gfy/chucknorris.jpg |
lolz these never get old to me :)
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Har har..some of those are good
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Chuck Norris’s penis is so big that it has a penis of its own and it is still bigger than yours.
Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool he doesn’t get wet, water gets Chuck Norris'd. What is the quickest way to mans heart? Chuck Norris’s fist. Chuck Norris pees in a can and sells it as redbull. God wanted to create the world in 10 days… Chuck Norris gave him 6. A stagnant pile of Chuck Norris's feces turns into diamonds after 2 days The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down. |
Just found these...
No girl ever fucked Chuck Norris without getting at least 15 stitches. In his free time, Chuck Norris knits sweaters. But when I say “knit”, I mean kick. And when I say “sweaters”, I mean babies. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. |
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The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.
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Sloth from the movie "The Goonies", his face is the result of just the wind from one of Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks!
http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d1...sloth_1024.jpg |
lol awesome
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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hehe,i love this jokes:)
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If you spell Chuck Norris at Scrabble, you win, forever.
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Funny stuff... Thx
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Funny.
I didn't know there were so many jokes about him going around. :winkwink: |
That's a good one :1orglaugh
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------------------- Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin. Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter. Chuck Norris doesn't get the belt, the belt get Chuck Norris. :1orglaugh |
when the hulk gets angry he turns into chuck norris!
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Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter!
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And all this beacuse on unrealistic ranger walker....
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bruce lee kicks chuck norris's ass anytime!
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...he waits...
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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