GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - A few good Saturday jokes...

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.
"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a brothel and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Brian!"

After a long love making session, a guy and a girl are laying together. The girl is playing with the guy's penis for a long time. He asks if she wants more sex. She says that she is admiring his penis. He asks,"Do you like it?"
She says, "No...I just miss mine....."

Michael Jackson is bathing his son when his son asks, "daddy, why does your penis look different to mine?". "Well son, you haven't got a hardon for a start"

What do illegal immagrants have in common with sperm?
Millions of the fuckers come flooding in, but only one bastard works!

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a Hyundai?
Princess Di would'nt be seen dead in a Hyundai.

Little Tommy, a good lad from Chester England, was on vacation
in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him to the local
rodeo especially to see the greatest bucking bronco of all, Blue
Steel.

Blue Steel was famed and renowned throughout the West for
being the toughest meanest horse that there ever was - who
had seen off so many would-be riders that the rodeo organizers
had promised $10,000 or anyone who could ride him just for
10 seconds.
That afternoon, all the local Cowboys tried their best, but Blue
Steel lived up to his reputation and threw them all off with the
greatest of ease.
As a joke the organizers then offered the prize to anyone in
the crowd who would dare to tangle with such a beast.
Up jumped little Tommy and of course everyone laughed at him.
But they let him have a go, and they were astounded when Tommy
not only sat on the horse for 10 seconds and more, while Blue
Steel bucked and lunged to throw him off like never before, but
in a few minutes Blue Steel was so exhausted the he could be
ridden in a very docile way all around the ring.
Everyone was astonished. "Considering you've never even sat on
a horse before, " said Tommy's friends. "How on earth did you
manage that?"
"Easy, , said Tommy "the wife's an epileptic."