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-   -   The Day The Earth Stood Still. What a joke... [TITS] (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=875707)

InternetIsForPorn 12-15-2008 03:57 PM

The Day The Earth Stood Still. What a joke... [TITS]
 
Just got back from The Day The Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves.

Holyyyy shit.

At first I was like
- an alien movie?
- with Neo?
- HOW CAN THIS GO WRONG?

Here's the lowdown of the story. Read to spoil yourself.

Keanu Reeves. 1920-something. Ice. Kidnapped by aliens.

Present.

A huge sphere lands in NY Central Park. OMG WHATS THAT? LETS SHOOT IT. An alien gets shot.

And then this 200 feet high cyclops robot jumps out of the sphere, tries to protect the shot alien and it spirals downhill from there. The alien is Reeves in a... placenta?? There are aliens in his mind and he wants to talk to the world leaders. Naturally the US government won't let him, so there is this girl who helps him escape.

He still wants to talk to world leaders, but halfway there he's like FUCK IT. There are millions of spheres all over the world that gather species... and then the huge cyclops robot turns into flies that eat everything. Everything.

Reeves, the girl and her kid have an orgy and the alien is like HUMANZ HAVE TEH EMOTIONS I SHOULDNT KILL ALL OF EM THOUGH THEYRE KILLING THE PLANET AND I WANT TO SAVE IT. They head back to the NY sphere, Reeves dies and earth is saved.

OR IS IT?!

Seriously, the movie doesn't suck you in. Yes, the concept is somewhat original, but when you see the cyclops drone who looks like an overgrown ninja, you'll get the idea.

Please post tits to cheer me up :(

Persius 12-15-2008 04:01 PM

it got like 22% on rotten tomato's so i didn't go watch it

uno 12-15-2008 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternetIsForPorn (Post 15200350)
Seriously, the movie doesn't suck you in. Yes, the concept is somewhat original, but when you see the cyclops drone who looks like an overgrown ninja, you'll get the idea.

Please post tits to cheer me up :(

:eek7

Seriously? Never seen the original?

InternetIsForPorn 12-15-2008 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uno (Post 15200413)
:eek7

Seriously? Never seen the original?

Unfortunately no. Is it better?

smutnut 12-15-2008 04:09 PM

The original has Rene's Robot. What are you guys like 10 fucking years old or something?

Darkland 12-15-2008 04:35 PM

If you weren't intelligent enough to understand what was going on it isn't the movies fault.

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternetIsForPorn (Post 15200350)
Just got back from The Day The Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves.

Holyyyy shit.

At first I was like
- an alien movie?
- with Neo?
- HOW CAN THIS GO WRONG?

It went wrong when you expected to see Neo...

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternetIsForPorn (Post 15200350)
Here's the lowdown of the story. Read to spoil yourself.

Keanu Reeves. 1920-something. Ice. Kidnapped by aliens.

Trying paying attention to the movie, his DNA WAS COLLECTED, NOT HIM.

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternetIsForPorn (Post 15200350)
Present.

A huge sphere lands in NY Central Park. OMG WHATS THAT? LETS SHOOT IT. An alien gets shot.

They didn't intentionally do that, someone got itchy or nervous and fired off ONE ROUND. A decision to shoot was never made, someone fucked up. You aren't very bright are you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternetIsForPorn (Post 15200350)
The alien is Reeves in a... placenta?? There are aliens in his mind and he wants to talk to the world leaders. Naturally the US government won't let him, so there is this girl who helps him escape.

Ummm, again, try paying attention... The placenta was so the ALIEN MIND OR CONSCIOUSNESS could be BORN in a HUMAN CONTAINER to SURVIVE OUR PLANETS ATMOSPHERE. The body was cloned using the DNA aquired in the beginning of the movie, I repeat, he WAS NOT KIDNAPPED, only his DNA.

The ALIEN MIND had a separate Unknown DNA, there WAS NO ALIENS IN HIS MIND.

The actions our govt and military took in this film is EXACTLY what they would do in real life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternetIsForPorn (Post 15200350)
He still wants to talk to world leaders, but halfway there he's like FUCK IT. There are millions of spheres all over the world that gather species... and then the huge cyclops robot turns into flies that eat everything. Everything.

1. He sees they were wrong in there assumptions... Did you not pay any attention to the conversation with the Nobel Peace Laureate? About how life forms evolve when on the brink of extinction or the threat of?

2. The spheres were like ARKS, you know like Noahs Ark, and they were protecting some of every species on the planet FROM BEING DESTROYED ALONG WITH EVERYTHING ELSE.

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternetIsForPorn (Post 15200350)
Reeves, the girl and her kid have an orgy and the alien is like HUMANZ HAVE TEH EMOTIONS I SHOULDNT KILL ALL OF EM THOUGH THEYRE KILLING THE PLANET AND I WANT TO SAVE IT. They head back to the NY sphere, Reeves dies and earth is saved.

I won't bother breaking this piece of retardation down... Lets just say, Resolution. I know it is a big word so go look it up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternetIsForPorn (Post 15200350)
OR IS IT?!

And then this 200 feet high cyclops robot jumps out of the sphere, tries to protect the shot alien and it spirals downhill from there.

Seriously, the movie doesn't suck you in. Yes, the concept is somewhat original, but when you see the cyclops drone who looks like an overgrown ninja, you'll get the idea.

If you didn't want to apply your imagination or except the directors, WHY THE FUCK did you go see a sci-fi fantasy film THAT IS NOT BASED ON REALITY.

How do you manage your daily life with this level of incompentency?

Maybe you should just stick to movies like Corky Romano.

:helpme:error

BlackCrayon 12-15-2008 04:42 PM

I loved the original. Doubt this one could live up to it.

jaYMan 12-15-2008 04:43 PM

Its top spot at the box office, regardless of what anyone thinks, it wins.

lol. I'll probably wait for DVD.

Donfoolio 12-15-2008 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternetIsForPorn (Post 15200426)
Unfortunately no. Is it better?

A classic and a great movie in it's own right. It was better IMO. They failed to do it proper justice with the new one. Could have improved on or fixed all the plot holes but did not :(

Vendzilla 12-15-2008 04:46 PM

I remember the original, it was one of the best sci fi movies ever, it was all a bout the story, so we'll see if the new one stacks up

Darkland 12-15-2008 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon (Post 15200692)
I loved the original. Doubt this one could live up to it.

It didn't... No remake ever does. But I didn't see it as a complete remake. In the original nothing really gets destroyed and at the end pretty muchs tells us to change or they will be back.

I saw this movie as the "We are back" sequel, but this time when talks fail they actually start tearing shit up like the said they would.

mvee 12-15-2008 04:57 PM

How can this movie possibly be good with Keanu Reeves in the lead? He has to be the worst actor out there.

pornask 12-15-2008 04:59 PM

Fuck it Darkland, you should be a lawyer. Nicely said.

I went to see a movie and really liked it. Yes, it missed the climax for some reason, and yes, Keanu Reeves is rather wonky but overall it's a great movie with powerful message.

Brandon99 12-15-2008 05:01 PM

I knew they were gonna fuck this up. If you haven't seen the original, check it out. It's a classic :thumbsup
http://www.monsterlandtoys.com/video...od%20Still.jpg

Donfoolio 12-15-2008 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mvee (Post 15200816)
How can this movie possibly be good with Keanu Reeves in the lead? He has to be the worst actor out there.

You forgetting ben aflack?

Darkland 12-15-2008 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornask (Post 15200836)
Fuck it Darkland, you should be a lawyer. Nicely said.

I went to see a movie and really liked it. Yes, it missed the climax for some reason, and yes, Keanu Reeves is rather wonky but overall it's a great movie with powerful message.

Thank you... More Spoiler Alert...

It may not have had a big climax, but did anyone else notice what happened there at the end. He said he could probably stop it but it would mean life as we knew it would change.

When he charged that sphere he sent out a massive global EMP that not only destroyed the robot nano bugs but literally destroyed every single piece of electronic equipment on the planet (and probably a few people as well). Talk about getting thrown back to the dark ages.

421Fill 12-15-2008 05:56 PM

ummm.. where are the tits?

mvee 12-15-2008 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donfoolio (Post 15200999)
You forgetting ben aflack?

Affleck is bad agreed, but Keanu is the worst. He was only good in The Matrix Trilogy because it was an action movie that required him to fly around as opposed to speak. He was terrible as Constantine which did require him to speak and develop a character...


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