i think i should had sex with a tranny TONIGHT, TIP: ALWAYS leave the lights on
 

i would like to start out by saying i went against my own rule of always having the lights ON, i only fuckin dime pieces and like to stare at their dime bodies and i like for them to see my giant cock inserting in them pleasing them like no other man can.

ANYWAY

so today im out at a local pub and there is this SMOKINGGGGG asian, and i mean HOT NOT CIGARETTES, and i said hello bought her a couple drinks next thing you know she invites me to her house.

SO WE HOP A CAB AND WE ARE MAKIN OUT AND I AM SUCKIN ON HER TITS, and just as i am about to feel up her dress we pull up to her house.

so anyway we go inside to her room and it starts off and she says "i like the lights off its more romantic" whatever i dont care im a player i am lookin to get my rocks off.

so we start to fuck, i slide it in her and i feel something smacking against my leg and its like a SCHMACK SMHACK SMHACK sound, and in my head im like "wtf" but im fully cut drunk and i dont think to turn the lights on. so instead i do the asshole test, because if im in the pussy there is an available asshole.

so i go to feel the asshole and it feels HUGEEEE, so again im fully cut at this point and im kinda like whatever the fuck you know? maybe she gets fisted i dont care.

anyway as i am about to blow my load my hand skims past my face (the one that was in her ass) and all i smell is peanut butter, then i blow my load and then the lights turn on soon after as i am about to leave and there is a jar of open peanut butter on the bed i see.

i think i may have been tricked with the old "the other hole is actually a peanut butter jar and i have a dick trick".

:helpme:helpme:helpme

It's ok to admit you liked it,not that its a bad thing

I'm sure your lovely 10/10 wife will approve.

fudge packer

haha what the fuck

Its ok to admit you like the cock.

We'll still think you're a douche.

i am not married i am single, i would never cheat.

i feel very akward she was very hot, i just left, my leg has a bruise and i am hoping it was from basketball, but it looks like a banana, do you think a banana can leave a welt on your leg? :helpme:helpme

i have soccer legs also, i dont think they bruise that easy. :helpme

yeah well i just went to make a 2nd ham sandwich and found a condom at the bottom of my mayonnaise jar you got lucky imo

i prefer caramel and i am not a green bay packers fan, what does this have to do with anything? :helpme

i am being very serious and i would appreciate if you guys did not make a joke of it. :mad:

i suggest using miracle whip it is lower in calories. :2 cents:

did balls touch?

gaylorddddddddddddddddddddd

postbottttttttttttttttttt

She played basketball with you I'm telling ya :upsidedow

im not to sure, my balls are huge so if they touch anything i dont feel it.

i used to WHOOP at standing long jump when i was a kid, i use these bull balls as momentum.

but then sometimes it can be very embarassing when girl tells me

"it's to big to fit" about my cock or

"ouch your balls are so big it feels like you are spanking me"

or "you are going to have to return that back to customs because with a load that size you have to pay duty"

:( :( :(

Are you masturbating thinking about it? :helpme

I hope that never happens to me.

This thread is full of win. :1orglaugh

peanut butter hahahahahahahahaa

:error:uhoh:action-sm

This thread delivers!

what is so funny about peanut butter?

i am being very serious and you guys are making it into a joke and i honestly do not appreciate it. :2 cents:

i love peanut butter and when i look at my can of "Jif" all i will see is "Jeff" because "she" told me her name was "Jenifer". :(

Wow, the old peanut butter jar trick! Anyone could fall for it.

:helpme........

:2 cents: ...

:1orglaugh

I always knew you were a faggot