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-   -   I had sex with my best friends mom and now i have small bumps on my anal area: (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=884756)

MetaMan 01-29-2009 11:56 PM
I had sex with my best friends mom and now i have small bumps on my anal area:
 
HI

so any if you guys could maybe not make fun of me for this because i really dont want to tell my friends because frankly i am quite embarrassed.

so i went with my buddy to his moms house (she is separated) for dinner last week to keep her some company. i have known her since i was a small child a very nice lady.

anyway so we are sitting at dinner having a couple glasses of wine and all she is doing is talking about sports and BLACK athletes, as soon as my buddy goes to the bathroom i feel a foot near my cock then a big toe right in my asshole. and she winks at me and says "i bet you are hung like a black man".

so my buddy sits back down and i dont want to mention anything and then she starts to talk about athletes foot. the night goes on he passes out and me and her are left drinking wine.

she takes me up to her room strips my pants down and puts a big foot in my ass, this woman had huge feet. it kinda turned me on so i ended up banging her all night and came over her face. you should have seen my face in the morning when my buddy kissed his mom goodbye he licked his lips like it was a salty taste and his mom responds "o honey i was just eating salt and vinegar chips"

long story short my asshole has small bumps on the inside of it. and i am wondering if athletes foot can be passed on into your asshole?

hypedough 01-29-2009 11:59 PM
Definitely athletes foot inside your ass.

MetaMan 01-29-2009 11:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hypedough (Post 15410756)
Definitely athletes foot inside your ass.
do you use the athletes foot spray or how would you go abouts healing this?

Deej 01-30-2009 12:00 AM
another metaman classic :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Deej 01-30-2009 12:01 AM
BAM!

Tough actin' tinactin

http://www.petrasoap.com/MC6021.jpg

MetaMan 01-30-2009 12:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deej (Post 15410759)
another metaman classic :1orglaugh:1orglaugh
hmm this isnt really funny. :(

i was also at the gym and found a bar of soap on the shower floor and washed my asshole with it, could it be like a combination? i wonder if their is multiple forms where i need like a stealth attack on it?

BusterBunny 01-30-2009 12:03 AM
BOOOM

http://www.grudge-match.com/Images/madden2.gif

Deej 01-30-2009 12:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BusterBunny (Post 15410766)
well you got me on the boom...

I let my emiril slip out...

:1orglaugh:pimp

hypedough 01-30-2009 12:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deej (Post 15410761)
BAM!

Tough actin' tinactin

http://www.petrasoap.com/MC6021.jpg
Yep it's tough actin' for sure.

MetaMan 01-30-2009 12:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BusterBunny (Post 15410766)
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

ok that was good!

anyway it seems i am not the only person:

http://ask.metafilter.com/75540/Seri...p-with-my-anus

Quote:
So I went to see my doctor about my itchy butt (he saw through the hair just fine, BTW), and he diagnosed me with pruritus ani, which is latin for "I have no idea why your ass itches." No hemmeys or fissures, no pinworms, just an unidentifiable urge to scratch my anus. He told me to switch from boxer briefs to plain old boxers (to help keep things aired out) and to keep using hydrocortizone cream for the rest of my life... and never, ever, EVER succumb to the urge to itch. Easier said than done.

I followed his advice, and for a short time the itching seemed to go away, but it's recently flared back up. Basically it works like this:

- Nothing feels out of whack down there (no skin flaps or bulging veins).
- No blood on my toilet paper or in my stool.
- No pain from bowel movements. In fact, my BMs don't seem to have any affect on the state of itchiness.
- Sitting alleviates the urge to itch almost immediately.
- Standing and walking aggravate the condition.
- Hydrocortizone doesn't always do the trick, so I've recently started using a generic version of Benadryl cream, which seems to be a little more effective.

Despite having two huge health care systems in my town, neither of them have a Proctologist. Do they go by a different name these days? We have several colo-rectal surgeons, but they seem to extreme for Mr. Itchy Ass 2007. I don't want to go back to my regular doctor, because, frankly, I think his prognosis was a bit weak.

Has anyone out there had a similar affliction? How did you ever find relief? Please help?! My anus is killing me!!! And I don't want to see any IANAD bullshit... I already figured as much.
i am going to read through this and hopefully find a solution

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude 01-30-2009 12:10 AM
Hope it was worth it! :winkwink:

Check this out (only 15 seconds):



Probably have to amputate your ass... :Oh crap

ADG

SomeCreep 01-30-2009 01:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetaMan (Post 15410750)
HI

so any if you guys could maybe not make fun of me for this because i really dont want to tell my friends because frankly i am quite embarrassed.

so i went with my buddy to his moms house (she is separated) for dinner last week to keep her some company. i have known her since i was a small child a very nice lady.

anyway so we are sitting at dinner having a couple glasses of wine and all she is doing is talking about sports and BLACK athletes, as soon as my buddy goes to the bathroom i feel a foot near my cock then a big toe right in my asshole. and she winks at me and says "i bet you are hung like a black man".

so my buddy sits back down and i dont want to mention anything and then she starts to talk about athletes foot. the night goes on he passes out and me and her are left drinking wine.

she takes me up to her room strips my pants down and puts a big foot in my ass, this woman had huge feet. it kinda turned me on so i ended up banging her all night and came over her face. you should have seen my face in the morning when my buddy kissed his mom goodbye he licked his lips like it was a salty taste and his mom responds "o honey i was just eating salt and vinegar chips"

long story short my asshole has small bumps on the inside of it. and i am wondering if athletes foot can be passed on into your asshole?
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/72/19...062b42b435.jpg

collegeboobies 01-30-2009 01:43 AM
what a nasty foot

Bojangles 01-30-2009 01:50 AM
Damn. I hope everything turns out okay for you...

JFK 01-30-2009 01:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude (Post 15410777)
Hope it was worth it! :winkwink:

Check this out (only 15 seconds):



Probably have to amputate your ass... :Oh crap

ADG
Holy burnin assholes:helpme

sexandcash 01-30-2009 03:29 AM
metaman
I'm sorry but if you haven't already please consult a doctor....
it sounds like something the doctor can clear right up
No offense but I'd rather put my trust in the hands of a licensed doctor than some bored webmasters who have probably never had athletes foot up the butt

blech...she must have had some nassttyy feet :(

Mr Pheer 01-30-2009 03:40 AM
I think maybe that was his dad, not his mom.

tranza 01-30-2009 07:42 AM
It seems you are in trouble!!

Jman 01-30-2009 07:47 AM
Well now the dudes won't have to wear ribbed condoms when they fuck you up the ass.

See there's always a positive side to things.

MetaMan 01-30-2009 07:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jean-Francois (Post 15411468)
Well now the dudes won't have to wear ribbed condoms when they fuck you up the ass.

See there's always a positive side to things.
her feet were full of calluses it was like a deep scratch in there. i walk with a wider stance now it felt so good.

nAtuRaLbEautY 01-30-2009 10:13 AM
Lessons learned:

Avoid mom's best friend. :1orglaugh

Iron Fist 01-30-2009 10:16 AM
I wonder where he cuts and pastes all this BS from anyways...

LadyMischief 01-30-2009 10:22 AM
Could be molloscum not athlete's foot. :)

_Richard_ 01-30-2009 10:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sexandcash (Post 15411074)
metaman
I'm sorry but if you haven't already please consult a doctor....
it sounds like something the doctor can clear right up
No offense but I'd rather put my trust in the hands of a licensed doctor than some bored webmasters who have probably never had athletes foot up the butt

blech...she must have had some nassttyy feet :(
you wouldn't even begin to understand the value of 100+ experts!

JFK 01-30-2009 10:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SBR Richard (Post 15412084)
you wouldn't even begin to understand the value of 100+ experts!
Priceless:thumbsup

DAMNMAN 01-30-2009 11:07 AM
Saw this post title and had to read it.

But have no advice for ya' except that "when you go to the conventions don't let anyone know you are the guy that posted this!!!!".

Imortyl Pussycat 01-30-2009 11:11 AM
this thread delivers :thumbsup

missipissi 01-30-2009 11:26 AM
Confused -- she told you she had athlete's foot at dinner and you still let her stick her toes up there?

Hope you get it cleared up soon.

Reak AGV 01-30-2009 11:27 AM
Sounds like a antactic problem :)

Fredde 01-30-2009 11:44 AM
Lol. Good luck!

SCORE Ralph 01-30-2009 12:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetaMan (Post 15410750)
HI

so any if you guys could maybe not make fun of me for this because i really dont want to tell my friends because frankly i am quite embarrassed.

so i went with my buddy to his moms house (she is separated) for dinner last week to keep her some company. i have known her since i was a small child a very nice lady.

anyway so we are sitting at dinner having a couple glasses of wine and all she is doing is talking about sports and BLACK athletes, as soon as my buddy goes to the bathroom i feel a foot near my cock then a big toe right in my asshole. and she winks at me and says "i bet you are hung like a black man".

so my buddy sits back down and i dont want to mention anything and then she starts to talk about athletes foot. the night goes on he passes out and me and her are left drinking wine.

she takes me up to her room strips my pants down and puts a big foot in my ass, this woman had huge feet. it kinda turned me on so i ended up banging her all night and came over her face. you should have seen my face in the morning when my buddy kissed his mom goodbye he licked his lips like it was a salty taste and his mom responds "o honey i was just eating salt and vinegar chips"

long story short my asshole has small bumps on the inside of it. and i am wondering if athletes foot can be passed on into your asshole?
You're a winner!

Milfer 01-30-2009 12:28 PM
It is my fantasy.

John-ACWM 01-30-2009 12:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetaMan (Post 15410762)
hmm this isnt really funny. :(

i was also at the gym and found a bar of soap on the shower floor and washed my asshole with it, could it be like a combination? i wonder if their is multiple forms where i need like a stealth attack on it?
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh You're hilarious :thumbsup

MetaMan 01-30-2009 02:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharphead (Post 15412003)
I wonder where he cuts and pastes all this BS from anyways...
all i see you is hating on everyone in every fucking thread.

i will whip my big fucking cock across your pretty little face so fast it will spin your head around so fast that it will put you back in time.

i am 100% original now shut your fucking mouth before i cause problems for you.

i cant stand unoriginal idiots who have to hate on people who have a real personality.

you dont like me stay away from me, i dont go in your threads because you are boring and useless, that is not my fault, it is most likely the fault of your parents both being lonely in their mid 20s and settling for eachother even though they have nothing in common because they are losers who do not want to be alone. when 2 losers mate what do you get? im sure you cant do the math? o wait you're an idiot, you get... A LOSER CHILD.

jmcb420 01-30-2009 02:19 PM
This is the first time I ever though about athleats foot in someones ass.....wow.

seeandsee 01-30-2009 02:21 PM
take a smell

MetaMan 01-30-2009 02:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by missipissi (Post 15412327)
Confused -- she told you she had athlete's foot at dinner and you still let her stick her toes up there?

Hope you get it cleared up soon.
when you are drunk off of wine you dont really care sometimes, and when you are a young all star MVP well hung big buck silverback leader of the pride long schlong down to get your friction on longer then a nigga cock big in shape white boy like myself sometimes you feel you are put her on earth to service women. and when you dont provide the service it is like you are going against gods will.

i mean i look at some of you losers and then look at myself and i see how painful it must be for women to settle down with such fucking geeks not knowing there is a big dick mofo like myself out there.

i am like a greek god, many women think i only exist in story books but once they see me in person it flips their entire world upside down.

me = pimp :pimp

jaycontentbandit 01-30-2009 02:29 PM
Thats weaaaaakk

JockJuiceContent 01-30-2009 02:58 PM
I dont mean to be a dick but this story sound like bs to me... Who kisses their mom and them licks their lips?

MetaMan 01-30-2009 03:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JockJuiceContent (Post 15413414)
I dont mean to be a dick but this story sound like bs to me... Who kisses their mom and them licks their lips?
IT IS BECAUSE I CAME IN HER FUCKING MOUTH. :winkwink:

Yngwie 01-30-2009 03:42 PM
You have the new thing called Athletes Ass which can be very severe and may cause anal blockage and than followed by extreme anal leakage. Seek medical attention immediately.

psili 01-30-2009 03:57 PM
This is priceless writing, regardless of how bullshit the thread is:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaman
and when you are a young all star MVP well hung big buck silverback leader of the pride long schlong down to get your friction on longer then a nigga cock big in shape white boy like myself sometimes you feel you are put her on earth to service women. and when you dont provide the service it is like you are going against gods will.
Goddamn, dude. That's pure poetry.
That's up there with GrimShawn's description of phatzane.
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showpo...1&postcount=26

Quote:
Originally Posted by GrimShawn
Dude you look like a retarded Ewok. You were blessed with the cock, but you sure were beaten with the ugly stick, the ugly branches, the ugly twigs, the ugly log, the ugly tree stump, the uglt roots, the ugly grass around the ugly tree, the ugly yard it's in, the ugly broken down fence around that yard, the ugly shak of a house at the end of the ugly yard with the ugly tree, the ugly block with all similar houses, trees, fences, and yards, the ugly ghetto ass worn torn broken up neighborhood, and of course all the ugly ass ewok tards living in that area.

Doctor Feelgood 01-30-2009 04:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetaMan (Post 15410750)
HI

so any if you guys could maybe not make fun of me for this because i really dont want to tell my friends because frankly i am quite embarrassed.

so i went with my buddy to his moms house (she is separated) for dinner last week to keep her some company. i have known her since i was a small child a very nice lady.

anyway so we are sitting at dinner having a couple glasses of wine and all she is doing is talking about sports and BLACK athletes, as soon as my buddy goes to the bathroom i feel a foot near my cock then a big toe right in my asshole. and she winks at me and says "i bet you are hung like a black man".

so my buddy sits back down and i dont want to mention anything and then she starts to talk about athletes foot. the night goes on he passes out and me and her are left drinking wine.

she takes me up to her room strips my pants down and puts a big foot in my ass, this woman had huge feet. it kinda turned me on so i ended up banging her all night and came over her face. you should have seen my face in the morning when my buddy kissed his mom goodbye he licked his lips like it was a salty taste and his mom responds "o honey i was just eating salt and vinegar chips"

long story short my asshole has small bumps on the inside of it. and i am wondering if athletes foot can be passed on into your asshole?
http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x...lson_haha2.jpg

GregE 01-30-2009 05:17 PM
You have athlete's ass, otherwise known as sportsman's rectum.

There is no known cure.

Your life, as you know it, is effectively over.

Draw the correct conclusions and act accordingly :(

Jman 01-30-2009 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetaMan (Post 15411475)
her feet were full of calluses it was like a deep scratch in there. i walk with a wider stance now it felt so good.
LMAO this is pure gold right there :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

HandballJim 01-30-2009 05:35 PM
Go see a doctor ASAP...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/forums/?forumID=3300

http://www.sfcityclinic.org/

MetaMan 01-30-2009 05:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deej (Post 15410761)
BAM!

Tough actin' tinactin

http://www.petrasoap.com/MC6021.jpg
i sprayed my crack down with this and i got to say my crack fucking burns. i literally am walking around holding my cheeks open. i hope you guys werent joking with me because i am being serious, it feels like a chemical burn almost.

Deej 01-30-2009 06:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetaMan (Post 15413915)
i sprayed my crack down with this and i got to say my crack fucking burns. i literally am walking around holding my cheeks open. i hope you guys werent joking with me because i am being serious, it feels like a chemical burn almost.
Ill bet on the can somewhere it says "not for rectal use" or "for external use only" ...

casualty of war :upsidedow

dyna mo 01-30-2009 06:08 PM
fcukin BADASS!

literally

missipissi 01-31-2009 02:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetaMan (Post 15413285)
when you are drunk off of wine you dont really care sometimes, and when you are a young all star MVP well hung big buck silverback leader of the pride long schlong down to get your friction on longer then a nigga cock big in shape white boy like myself sometimes you feel you are put her on earth to service women. and when you dont provide the service it is like you are going against gods will.

i mean i look at some of you losers and then look at myself and i see how painful it must be for women to settle down with such fucking geeks not knowing there is a big dick mofo like myself out there.

i am like a greek god, many women think i only exist in story books but once they see me in person it flips their entire world upside down.

me = pimp :pimp
I bow to your power of the run-on sentence.

Seriously - I really hope this works out for you. I'm not trying to harsh on your foot fetish.


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