My apology and explanation to everyone in the online adult industry...
 

As you have noticed I haven't been coming to this forum for some time, and others have been trying to contact me for a while as well. There are multiple reasons that I haven't been coming here or in contact with anyone and the reasons and explanations are below.

First and foremost for those of you who I have hurt, fucked over, or somehow deceived I do apologize and I want you to know it was never ever my intention to do so. I always started each and every project or job with the best of intentions, however I always lost site of the goal due to my inability to stay focused.

Why do I always lose focus? Well over the past 3 years I have had a constant battle with either drugs or alcohol. I've never had anyone in my life to care about or anyone that cared about me since my divorce and the only way I have been able to cope with that is by self medicating myself to the means of forgetting. I've witnessed myself go from "man that guy can party" to "man that guy needs help" and I have to say it is not something I am proud of.

If it wasn't alcohol it was weed, if it wasnt weed or alcohol it was something else, but in a nutshell it was always "something" that I had to have. I am sorry I got lost in these issues and left a lot of you with a bitter taste in your mouth every time you hear my name.

This is my formal apology to everyone involved in the online adult industry. I have left Las Vegas and won't be returning as I have proceeded to an undisclosed location to not only deal with my problems as a person, but focus on paying back what is owed to those I have scorned.

After reading the thread a couple of weeks ago and how people viewed me, it sent me into a deep depression where I could no longer care for myself and put me to the point where I barely had the ability to get out of bed and use the toilet. I really couldn't believe what I done or what people thought about me, and the only thing I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die. I was contemplating dying versus living and neither had any appeal, I lost all care for anything, and had no motivation even just to exist. I gave up on life.

5 days after that thread, a miracle happened. I received a message on my Myspace profile from a family member that I would have thought forgotten me, but it basically said, "Donnie, come home." With what was going on, how I felt, for something like that to happen out of nowhere basically gave me a sign. So I am now on my way to that family member's residence and have told them everything about my past with one goal in mind, get better, take care of myself, and work on goals in order to pay back what I have taken.

I won't be reading the replies to this thread, however, I will be in contact with those who I need to speak with in due time, but right now is a time i need to focus on myself and getting better. I have given up all my posessions and gone back to the suitcase so I can actually build my life on something real and through hard work and dedication. In a nut shell, I have gone back to the basics. Once I know I am able I will be back to not only pay back what is owed to others, but to focus on the right kind of business.

To all of my friends, collegues, co-workers, and employers of the past, I am sincerely sorry for losing myself to addiction and I am very sorry for the issues that came of that. When I return one day, I promise to make it up to you all. I wish you the best in life and I hope to one day do business with you again.

Best regards and goodbye for a long time to come,

Big_D

see sig...and good luck

good to see you posting again :thumbsup

Look after yourself man. You gotta love yourself 24/7 brother.

Best of luck recovering and building your life back up.

Still though, I can't help but wonder if you regret those adult tattoos now.

Good luck dude, and hopefully we'll hear some good news in the future about your recovery in your personal life and career.

Grow up get your priorities straight. You can party all you want AFTER you complete projects and deliver on promises. That's also how you get paid TO party.

Omg his name is Donnie ANOTHER Donnie!

I'm gonna park right here just in case....

-Loki-

Don't worry about these jokers. Be well, and be happy. Hope everything gets better for you.

in short-

So long suckers...
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Hope things turn out well for you...

I don't know who you are or what went on but I do know about addiction and if your story is for real, you've got a long road ahead of you. Stay strong and don't give up.

Good luck. Being honest and repaying what is due are good first steps.

that's how GFY is...

you can be a top notch bro one day and a loser the next day

Good luck Donny, hope you find sobriety and put yourself back together.

Peace,

Brad

Hopefully you can fight those demons and fix things

i wuz here

um....I feel for you, I have been in the same position, so I can't throw stones

but dude, weed and alcohol? seems like kind of pussy shit to lose your life over

if a couple of beers and a bong hit sends yoou into a downward spiral than this is definitely NOT the industry for you

Get well man, take care of yourself - You'll be back up and running soon

Never give up - keep going, its good to see youre taking a big step back to get back up and running

good luck if you read this thread again.

:thumbsup:2 cents:

I wonder what the stats are on idiots getting into the porn industry and ending their stint with a "i fucked up" letter on GFY

I have seen it at LEAST 10 times now, gotta be more than that

postbottttttttt:winkwink:

good luck man, almost everyone deserves a second chance...

Good luck dude I know what you're going through been there lost everything and screwed over a few good friends because of the shit! GOOD LUCK you can do it if I can do it hell anyone can!

You have the skills and knowledge to do great things mate, you know you do.

Family is everything man, so be careful and don't fuck this up.

Hope you'll get your mojo back soon dude :thumbsup

Bet you'll be loving all those shitty tattoos this time next year. :1orglaugh

Good luck getting clean.

Well at least he'll always have all those fabulous tattoos to remind him of the good times.

Same thing I was thinking

Good luck and i wish You get better...

Hope everything turns out OK...and that you get yourself together so you can make things right with the people who trusted you.

And that, in a nutshell, is a large part of the problem with "this industry" - the people who think partying is a "part" of the industry. There are lots of "beers and bong hits" in *every* industry - and I've done my share of partying over the years (in the long, long ago). But the mindset that you have to be a party animal or a "bro" to earn respect or to be worth dealing with, or that being in adult means you have to be wrecked a good deal of the time, means that "this industry" as a whole will never be truly professional. :2 cents:

good luck

haha... and i was called an asshole for saying that only a deeply troubled person would be getting those tattoos...

maybe some of you should have been asking questions instead of licking the balls of someone trying to buy their way into the Bro Club with the most moronic body art ever?

but its cool right? i'm sure you're all going to chip in and take care of him and make sure he gets the help he needs?

i mean... its not like any of you are the kind of people to shamelessly exploit an addict for ad space...



uhm... right?

Are you telling us you were high when you got those cool bangbros tattoos? No way dude, no way!

Get yourself cleaned Donny. Good luck.

Listen up homie, stop feelin' sorry for yaself and just smoke a blunt. Fuck the alcohol, just smoke weed and your life will be on a much better path. :2 cents:

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

From one non-party animal to the next. :thumbsup

I can count how many 'bong loads' and beers I've had in the past two years... on one hand.

insert carefactory.jpg here

Im first happy because as I was reading I expected it to say you found Jesus. lol I wish you all the best and that you get the help you need. its going to be hard work but it will pay off in the long run.

The words are nice, and it does take a big man to come out publicly and say them, but now comes the real challenge...

Because at the end of the day they're only words. The hard part is the action, the doing, the making things right, the devouring of the humble pie, usually right after prying one's proverbial head out of one's proverbial ass.

All the best of luck with it.

I'm sure anyone you owe money will be pleased to know you accidentally fucked them because you are a weak selfish loser, not a malicious person...

Good luck.

Do you work for magnusbucks??

Wow .. Good luck..

Takes a lot of courage to post that here, no need to explain yourself. Get well.

Are you guys on drugs too?

We're heading into page 2 of a thread he said he wasn't going to read any of the responses...

http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/j...08/cocaine.jpg

As for Donny, trust me man I've pissed away a ridiculous amount of money due to drugs and alcohol, probably more than most people on here have ever seen. After a year or so of some rough times and doing everything from writing blog posts to running an expediting route to pay my bills, I pulled myself out of the gutter and have a thriving expediting business, on top of some very profitable adult sites. We all fuck up and make bad decisions, but I don't regret a fucking thing. I made my bed, I laid in it, and then I pulled myself up and came back 10 times stronger...

haha, hopefully you die next time, you are a waste of skin.

See you on the flipside dood...

man, I have been a part of 3 industries now...music, restaurant and porn

there is NO industry that parties as hard as the porn industry...sure there are elements in every industry that get out of hand, but beer for beer and hit for hit, the porn industry can't help but let loose any time 5 or more people from within it get together, PERIOD

partying IS a huge part of this industry, and combine that with free love and constant nudity and sex surrounding you, it is just fuel for the fire