I almost did not make it home tonight
 

I almost shit my pants.....


fuck that was scary

Depends are a good backup

dood it was so bad I was debating on shitting in my hat...

Were you listening to your scanner again and went in for backup?

Bet your lower stomach was burning like a motherfucker. It's one of those shits where you have to clench your ass cheeks when you sit down slowly on the toilet because unclenched cheeks = shitty walls...

I thought you were going to get Franck not the other way around..

Admit it you shat your pants.

one of those where me undoing my belt was the signal from my brain like OK it's time......

no but it was close... I will not tell a lie... olive garden does that to me.... fucking mexicans trying to cook itln food

Fear the shart

man that happened to me in NC..I was in a traffic jam and almost pulled on the side of the road to shit in the grass.. luckily I held to the next exit and found a NEW clean Mcdonalds to take a dump in.. I was praying to God and Sunny Jesus I could hold back the wall of shit building in my bowels

I think I was every religion there is out there.... I was praying to jesus, god, allah , buddah.... I was literally in tears man it was bad....

Convenient that we left a box of adult-sized diapers in your spare closet after shooting for http://www.adultbabygirl.com :1orglaugh

I needed it bad.... dood this was bad .... I was crying like a little bitch trying to make it home... I was doing like 100 over the train tracks LOL

Danza,
Fuzebox tells me you're awesome. I believe him. I am going to be out in Vegas to see him. Wanna grab some chips and salsa?

If it is right after the forum Ill be there too, to meet up with them possibly, We should all down some salsa :thumbsup

HELL yea Deej, I am in.

for sure... long as there is a toilet near by...

Sounds like an awesome after gathering :thumbsup

You'll be in phx too?

wait till fuzebox sees the wallpaper pic I put on the phone im sending him for the states hahahahah

Despite your racial issues, odds are it was not the issue that Mexicans were cooking it - it would be the idea that Olive garden is calling it Italian food.

hahah I have no racial issues... I got some mexi in me I think... dunno Ive never met my father but from what my mother says he was part mexi....

just cause I say mexicans don't mean im racist... LOL it's just the truth... when is the last time you saw a luigi cooking at olive garden.... I'm willing to bet it was a Juan that cooked the food....

I know there were Mexicans cooking, they are in about 90% of all restaurant kitchens in this country. You can just about name a given cuisine and no matter how upscale the place is, there are Mexicans cooking it.

Yes you do have racial issues and I really do not mind that you do. However it is fun to point it out when you post. Especially when I know your trying to post things one way and they come across totally different.

One day, I'm driving along in my new truck and all of a sudden, like a kick in the nuts, I gotta shit. Badly. I start thinking of where I can stop and realize the closest place is like a mile away.

Fuck.

Finally, after 2 red lights and an abundance of sunday drivers (nope, wasn't even on a sunday), I pull into the Carl's Jr. parking lot.

I run towards the door... but, I'm not really running, cuz then I wouldn't be able to clench my ass cheeks to hold back the eruption that was imminent... I was more or less waddling like The Penguin.

"I'm gonna make it... I'm gonna make it..." I chant to myself as i go thru the main door and make a beeline to the men's room.

Someone is walking out as I walk towards the restroom, and I think to myself, "awesome... perfect timing!"

I'm undoing my belt buckle before I even get to the door, walk in and start to unzip while the door is still swinging shut.

And I shit! 4 feet from the fucking toilet! what the mother fuck?!

I turn and lock the door, only to feel the liquid shit running down my legs.

Jeezus jumping mary and joseph! I can't believe it!

I panic, start to take off my shoes and pants and boxers, and think," ok, I'll just call someone to bring me some pants and I'll just sit in here as long as it takes..."

Nope. left my cellphone in the truck!. Fuck!

It gets worse.

I was wearing khaki pants.

I clean up as best as I can, put my shitty pants back on... leave the boxers in the trash and brace myself for the run back to my truck to get home and shower like I'd just been raped.

I cannot even begin to describe just how long that 30 second run to the truck felt like it took.

Passenger door is closest to me.. I unlock it, grab the newspaper that I was reading at lunch.... the lunch that probably caused this fiasco... throw the papers on the drivers seat, and start to crawl in.

Yank the door closed behind me and the fucking door panel comes away from the door and it doesn't close all the way. fuck!!!

I drove home with the fucking 'door is ajar' lite staring at me the whole way... wearing shitty khaki's and mumbling something about..."why me???"


true story. just thought I'd share.

you know your not the only one who says I have racial issues... fuck... maybe I'm in denial... I know I hate everyone the same... but I look down on no one... if that makes sense ... I hate women more so than anything though.... dunno why... maybe it's underlying issues from when I was a child I dunno... but for some reason they talk and all I hear is blah blah

ask fuzebox.. he's seen it in action... I'll call customer service and be on hold for like an hour then a woman or some dood named tyrone picks up and I just hang up.... and call back....

I was scared... I had cable issues one day so I called to get tech service out the next day.. so I get a knock at my door and I see the COX van out front.. so I look out my peephole... and see a black dood... and honestly I debated answering the door.....

but he fixed my issue and made it better... he was pretty good then I felt bad... that was the first time I ever questioned myself on "am I really a racist and don't know it?"


for the record though... I never use derogatory terms around my kids I will let them grow up and make their own choices....

this is classic....

you gotta hear my partners story on shitting his pants...... it's so funny I roll every time I hear the story

classic :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh
It's great you had that option

If that doesn't sound like a set up for bro rape, I don't know what does :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh ...

shit my pants a year ago.. was outside smoking a bowl, tried to finish getting high but didn't make it to my toilet lol. this was more of a shart tho

its the stuff they wash the vegetables with, restaurants use it to keep the stuff fresh. A preservative.

Ever eat at Souplantation? that place will make you have to go half way through your meal.

Stay away from the salad at OG :1orglaugh