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DarkJedi 03-16-2009 05:22 AM

.
 
The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.
They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old." The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, "Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now." The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked.

He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

:2 cents: :2 cents:

polish_aristocrat 03-16-2009 06:26 AM

the story is better known as scorpio and the frog and can be much shorter

pornocruto 03-16-2009 06:52 AM

Thread tittle is very misleading.

Iron Fist 03-16-2009 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornocruto (Post 15634679)
Thread tittle is very misleading.

Agreed... this is more of a "!" story to be honest.

raven1083 03-16-2009 07:45 AM

too long to read. It made me yawn!

CurrentlySober 03-16-2009 08:20 AM

i like poo

alias 03-16-2009 08:22 AM

natural born killers has this story when they are tripping on shrooms at the native shanty

DarkJedi 03-16-2009 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat (Post 15634605)
the story is better known as scorpio and the frog and can be much shorter

thanks for sharing.
Next time you might even have something worthwhile to say.
But I doubt it.

Tjeezers 03-16-2009 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davey Jones (Post 15634981)
thanks for sharing.
Next time you might even have something worthwhile to say.
But I doubt it.

I`ll give it a try, i love morals

Bird flies to the South, winter is coming. But bird left to late, and winter hits him in his feathered face halfway. He freezes and slowly looses altitude. He lands in a green field with cows, who are peaceful doing their thing. While the bird hits the ground, frozen, and all stiff, a cow comes close to the bird to take a shit. The cow shits straight on the bird and after she finishes she walks away. Slowly the warm shit unfreezes the bird. It slowly recovers, but it stuck in the pile of shit. A cat walks to the bird, and takes it out the pile of shit carefully and cleans it up. After the cat cleaned up the bird, it bit it in the neck, killed it in one bite and eats it.

The moral here.
When someone shits on you, it does not mean it is always your enemy
When someone takes you out of the shit, it does not mean it is always your friend

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-16-2009 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sex2Have (Post 15635061)
I`ll give it a try, i love morals

Bird flies to the South, winter is coming. But bird left to late, and winter hits him in his feathered face halfway. He freezes and slowly looses altitude. He lands in a green field with cows, who are peaceful doing their thing. While the bird hits the ground, frozen, and all stiff, a cow comes close to the bird to take a shit. The cow shits straight on the bird and after she finishes she walks away. Slowly the warm shit unfreezes the bird. It slowly recovers, but it stuck in the pile of shit. A cat walks to the bird, and takes it out the pile of shit carefully and cleans it up. After the cat cleaned up the bird, it bit it in the neck, killed it in one bite and eats it.

The moral here.
When someone shits on you, it does not mean it is always your enemy
When someone takes you out of the shit, it does not mean it is always your friend

Much better story. :2 cents:

nico-t 03-16-2009 01:06 PM

Once there was a fox living in the big forest. The fox has made an arrangement with the squirrel to share the food for a complete meal of meat and vegetables. They lived very healthy for years and years to come, or so the squirrel at least thought that way. Until there was some mixup where the eagle pecked away the meat that the fox had gathered and placed in their secret food place the squirrel and the fox used. Once they both came back to their food stash, the fox was convinced the squirrel ate all the meat after all these years of friendship and trust. Whatever the squirrel said to defend himself against the fox was useless, the fox was convinced his little friend had double crossed him. The squirrel knew he wouldn't survive a minute longer if he would stay with the fox. So he whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirror. If anything he could say that this cab was rare, but he thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air. He pulled up to a house about seven or eight and he yelled to the cabby "Yo, home smell you later". He looked at his kingdom he was finally there to sit on his throne as the prince of bel-air.

captain.g 03-16-2009 01:25 PM

The king and his friend
 
An African king had a close friend who had the habit of remarking "this is good" about every occurrence in life no matter what it was. One day the king and his friend were out hunting. The king's friend loaded a gun and handed it to the king, but alas he loaded it wrong and when the king fired it, his thumb was blown off.

"This is good!" exclaimed his friend.

The horrified and bleeding king was furious. "How can you say this is good? This is obviously horrible!" he shouted.

The king put his friend in jail.

About a year later the king went hunting by himself. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to it. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. They untied the king and sent him on his way.

Full of remorse the king rushed to the prison to release his friend.

"You were right, it WAS good" the king said.

The king told his friend how the missing thumb saved his life and added, "I feel so sad that I locked you in jail.That was such a bad thing to do"

"NO! this is good!" responded his delighted friend.

"Oh, how could that be good my friend, I did a terrible thing to you while I owe you my
life".

"It is good" said his friend, "because if I wasn't in jail I would have been hunting with you and they would have killed ME."

notime 03-16-2009 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davey Jones (Post 15634455)
The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.
They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old." The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, "Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now." The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked.

He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

:2 cents: :2 cents:

In short:
Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.
Is this correct ?

DarkJedi 03-16-2009 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t (Post 15636084)
Once there was a fox living in the big forest. The fox has made an arrangement with the squirrel to share the food for a complete meal of meat and vegetables. They lived very healthy for years and years to come, or so the squirrel at least thought that way. Until there was some mixup where the eagle pecked away the meat that the fox had gathered and placed in their secret food place the squirrel and the fox used. Once they both came back to their food stash, the fox was convinced the squirrel ate all the meat after all these years of friendship and trust. Whatever the squirrel said to defend himself against the fox was useless, the fox was convinced his little friend had double crossed him. The squirrel knew he wouldn't survive a minute longer if he would stay with the fox. So he whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirror. If anything he could say that this cab was rare, but he thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air. He pulled up to a house about seven or eight and he yelled to the cabby "Yo, home smell you later". He looked at his kingdom he was finally there to sit on his throne as the prince of bel-air.

I like that one.

DarkJedi 03-16-2009 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notime (Post 15636186)
In short:
Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.
Is this correct ?

No, it's not correct.

:2 cents:

Deej 03-16-2009 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain.g (Post 15636167)
An African king had a close friend who had the habit of remarking "this is good" about every occurrence in life no matter what it was. One day the king and his friend were out hunting. The king's friend loaded a gun and handed it to the king, but alas he loaded it wrong and when the king fired it, his thumb was blown off.

"This is good!" exclaimed his friend.

The horrified and bleeding king was furious. "How can you say this is good? This is obviously horrible!" he shouted.

The king put his friend in jail.

About a year later the king went hunting by himself. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to it. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. They untied the king and sent him on his way.

Full of remorse the king rushed to the prison to release his friend.

"You were right, it WAS good" the king said.

The king told his friend how the missing thumb saved his life and added, "I feel so sad that I locked you in jail.That was such a bad thing to do"

"NO! this is good!" responded his delighted friend.

"Oh, how could that be good my friend, I did a terrible thing to you while I owe you my
life".

"It is good" said his friend, "because if I wasn't in jail I would have been hunting with you and they would have killed ME."

I dont even want to associate with any moral related to that story :2 cents:

notime 03-16-2009 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davey Jones (Post 15636194)
No, it's not correct.

:2 cents:

I was thinking about Eddy Murphy's joke in Delirious about the bear and the rabbit there a second.

jmcb420 03-16-2009 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t (Post 15636084)
Once there was a fox living in the big forest. The fox has made an arrangement with the squirrel to share the food for a complete meal of meat and vegetables. They lived very healthy for years and years to come, or so the squirrel at least thought that way. Until there was some mixup where the eagle pecked away the meat that the fox had gathered and placed in their secret food place the squirrel and the fox used. Once they both came back to their food stash, the fox was convinced the squirrel ate all the meat after all these years of friendship and trust. Whatever the squirrel said to defend himself against the fox was useless, the fox was convinced his little friend had double crossed him. The squirrel knew he wouldn't survive a minute longer if he would stay with the fox. So he whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirror. If anything he could say that this cab was rare, but he thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air. He pulled up to a house about seven or eight and he yelled to the cabby "Yo, home smell you later". He looked at his kingdom he was finally there to sit on his throne as the prince of bel-air.

Awesome. :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Deesnuts 03-16-2009 01:52 PM

blah ,blah

EthnicLover 03-16-2009 02:01 PM

Raymond Carver lives.


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