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-   -   Are you gay? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=914805)

vod 07-08-2009 10:01 AM

Are you gay?
 
Are you gay or straight?

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat....'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet and tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or drink his beer.


:1orglaugh

dodger21 07-08-2009 10:03 AM

HEY IDIOT!!! come out here. the bite it starting. Yellowtail and tuna!!!! Lets go motherfucker!!!!!!!

tranza 07-08-2009 10:09 AM

Straight for sure! :thumbsup

CaptainHowdy 07-08-2009 10:11 AM

Homosexual not gay...

96ukssob 07-08-2009 10:36 AM

Quote:

Are you gay or straight?

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

if your married then yes. single, then you just like to bang 18 year olds


Quote:

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat....'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer.
fuck that, my cat is way better than a dog. i dont need to take it outside, it wont eat all the food i leave out for it, plus i can leave my house for more than 2 days without worrying about it.

Quote:

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet and tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.
very true

Quote:

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
ill piss in the damn street, but taking a dump is something else. im not going to sit on a nasty ass shit covered toilet, ill just stop and poop on the side of the highway

Quote:

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.
regular coffee is for sissies... i pound a triple espresso then wash that down with a redbull. thats how shit gets done!

Quote:

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.
personally, id rather eat another steak then desert

Quote:

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or drink his beer.
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

brassmonkey 07-08-2009 10:41 AM

hahahah!!! oh snap!

Chosen 07-08-2009 12:51 PM

Straight :)

Aquarius 07-08-2009 12:52 PM

Straight here...

BobG 07-08-2009 03:03 PM

I have a cat but I love bbq.

smutnut 07-08-2009 03:33 PM

Jesus H. Christ, I'm so fucking disgustingly FAT I can't possibly be a gay homosexual faggot! :thumbsup Thanks I was going to go on a diet!

Platinumpimp 07-08-2009 03:38 PM

LOL the guy who wrote that must be the biggest closet fag of all times!

Holly Lez! 07-08-2009 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vod (Post 16042638)
Are you gay or straight?

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat....'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet and tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or drink his beer.


:1orglaugh

Hmmm is this way you have no good gay studios???

JenniDahling 07-08-2009 03:58 PM

I have to admit, I am a gay man trapped in a woman's body.

All except the washboard stomach part. Exercise is ghey.

brassmonkey 07-08-2009 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenniDahling (Post 16044162)
I have to admit, I am a gay man trapped in a woman's body.

All except the washboard stomach part. Exercise is ghey.

wtf:helpme:1orglaugh

vod 07-08-2009 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brassmonkey (Post 16044204)
wtf:helpme:1orglaugh


wtf



wtf

wtf...
http://www.ratemyeverything.net/image/6248/0/WTF.ashx

epitome 07-08-2009 07:52 PM

This thread is gay.

I do all of the manly things attributed to straight guys and still love teh cock.

What a great place to start my participation on GFY. It only took 483 years to get my nick approved. Probably because I am gay. You fucking hateful bastards.

To the thread starter...don't make me tell everybody about that time you offered to bottom for me.

Farang 07-08-2009 07:53 PM

Not one bit.

Bladewire 07-09-2009 09:38 AM

No more Gay business for XonDemand
 
No more Gay business for XonDemand :321GFY

Now let's watch this fucking idiot make a post about n i g g e r s and kikes. I'm sure he's an equal opportunity piece of shit.

LauraLee 07-09-2009 09:41 AM

You said meat whistle.

epitome 07-09-2009 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squirtit (Post 16046594)
No more Gay business for XonDemand :321GFY

Now let's watch this fucking idiot make a post about n i g g e r s and kikes. I'm sure he's an equal opportunity piece of shit.

I thought the same thing.

I'd expect something like this from Donny Long...but XonDemand?

The irony of it all is that most girls fall in love with gay men on the spot...and would happily spread their legs for them. Most girls like guys who take care of themselves.

My straight friends that take care of themselves (with their washboard abs, etc.) get a lot more pussy than my sloppy straight friends.

A smart straight man also knows that gay clubs are THE BEST place to pick up girls. Girls want guys that are cool with their gay friends. Nothing proves that you are more than being comfortable in a gay club. It also shows that you are comfortable in your own sexuality. A bonus is that you'll never have to worry about your girlfriends male friends trying to fuck your girl.

C-Luv 07-09-2009 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farang (Post 16044733)
Not one bit.

Nice numbers : )

SleazyDream 07-09-2009 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bossku69 (Post 16042801)

if your married then yes. single, then you just like to bang 18 year olds




fuck that, my cat is way better than a dog. i dont need to take it outside, it wont eat all the food i leave out for it, plus i can leave my house for more than 2 days without worrying about it.



very true



ill piss in the damn street, but taking a dump is something else. im not going to sit on a nasty ass shit covered toilet, ill just stop and poop on the side of the highway



regular coffee is for sissies... i pound a triple espresso then wash that down with a redbull. thats how shit gets done!



personally, id rather eat another steak then desert



:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

def gay :2 cents:

epitome 07-09-2009 10:57 AM

This thread is already making it way through all of the gay studios. You can probably imagine the reaction.

Good job, XonDemand! Good job protecting your brand and your image. You are a winner! :thumbsup:

This is just another example of why AEBN will always be 100x better than you.

abostonboy 07-09-2009 11:04 AM

Just pulled all my links.

GayTube Jack 07-09-2009 11:14 AM

Dont even bother ever contacting us.


TubeTitans_SusieQ 07-09-2009 11:14 AM

Some guy tried emailing me - and his opening line was "are you a lesbian?? I wanted to hook up...." Like really? thats REALLY how your gonna try to pick up a girl? idiot

JamesXR 07-09-2009 11:31 AM

Oh wow,
It turns out that the standards for straightness are incredibly strict. Nothing other than regular coffee? No owning a cat? A maximum of six dessert dishes? I'm guessing that this board is entirely free of straight people by those standards.

Of course, the number one rule of being a man, gay or straight, is not letting some fool dictate the rules to you. If you conform to someone else's rules for being a man, then you'll only ever be a bitch.

Loryn 07-09-2009 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squirtit (Post 16046594)
No more Gay business for XonDemand :321GFY

Now let's watch this fucking idiot make a post about n i g g e r s and kikes. I'm sure he's an equal opportunity piece of shit.

OMG are you one of those people who hate Will & Grace too???

Holly Lez! 07-09-2009 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by epitome (Post 16046880)
This thread is already making it way through all of the gay studios. You can probably imagine the reaction.

Good job, XonDemand! Good job protecting your brand and your image. You are a winner! :thumbsup:

This is just another example of why AEBN will always be 100x better than you.

LOL I sent it to my studios not because I don't have a sense of humor but because it gets really old and tired to see gay jokes from companies wanting your gay biz! BLAH

brassmonkey 07-09-2009 12:29 PM

hahaha attack 0f the gays

traumatics 07-09-2009 12:49 PM

http://www.lafferty.ca/wp-content/up...05/fail-24.jpg

Varius 07-09-2009 12:51 PM

Wow...the response from some of those programs/people in the gay community to Rob's post is pretty shocking. It was a simple joke thread and of the many gay/lesbians I know, especially in adult, not a single one would take any offense to it :2 cents:

That said, to those who wouldn't do business with another company based on a simple post like this; I'd be willing to wager you aren't a very good businessperson. Whether you do or do not do business with them should be based on the product; maybe you don't think it's a good fit, maybe you do.

If I was an owner of a gay site thinking about dealing with another company such as XOD and found out my employee nixed a deal worth $xx,xxx a month for example over this thread, that employee would be fired on the spot :2 cents:

ManHuntSteve 07-09-2009 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varius (Post 16047304)
Wow...the response from some of those programs/people in the gay community to Rob's post is pretty shocking. It was a simple joke thread and of the many gay/lesbians I know, especially in adult, not a single one would take any offense to it :2 cents:

That said, to those who wouldn't do business with another company based on a simple post like this; I'd be willing to wager you aren't a very good businessperson. Whether you do or do not do business with them should be based on the product; maybe you don't think it's a good fit, maybe you do.

If I was an owner of a gay site thinking about dealing with another company such as XOD and found out my employee nixed a deal worth $xx,xxx a month for example over this thread, that employee would be fired on the spot :2 cents:


How about if you were a business owner and found out your employee made a public post full of offensive slurs on an industry board, while representing your company?


From what I gather, XonDemand's business strategy is this:

1. Post hate speech that discriminates against an entire thriving segment of the industry we work in, not to mention the population at large, as well as a significant number of their own client base.

2. Include refid in post for tracking purposes.

3. Profit!

Can't wait to see what the next XonDemand meeting is going to be like. I'm picturing something like this...

http://epicfail.com/wp-content/uploa...es-to-fail.jpg

romeo22 07-09-2009 01:01 PM

Im so straight ... i do like some guys but i havent try any :winkwink: I hope im not gay!

Varius 07-09-2009 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PridebucksSteve (Post 16047323)
How about if you were a business owner and found out your employee made a public post full of offensive slurs on an industry board, while representing your company?

In such a case, if I thought it was offensive, then the employee would be dealt with.

In this particular case, I will vouch for Rob as someone who is not a racist or homophobe, thus when posting it I know there was no intent to offend the gay population of GFY (not to mention it's an old joke that has been posted before many times).

I know what you are saying though, I've had to hold my tongue in public many times when representing a company in the past. I think people who like to use the board for personal pleasure, should simply have two different nicks. One for representing their company and other for personal use.

Circus_Penis 07-09-2009 01:08 PM

Way to go

http://4gifs.com/gallery/d/53010-1/failing_awesome.jpg

vod 07-09-2009 01:10 PM

hahaha... I laughed when I read this email from a GAY friend of mine!!!

so I created a thread and posted it here...( Are you gay?) only to here that people are requesting more threads

here are some more thread I will create... only to make it fair for everyone.. ;-) :thumbsup

Are you gay?
Are you straight?
Are you asian?
Are you lesbian?
Are you black?
are you white?
are you short?
are you tall?
are you bald?
are you hairy?
are you a teen?
are you an adult?
are you having any fun?
what are you?

Holly Lez! 07-09-2009 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varius (Post 16047304)
Wow...the response from some of those programs/people in the gay community to Rob's post is pretty shocking. It was a simple joke thread and of the many gay/lesbians I know, especially in adult, not a single one would take any offense to it :2 cents:

That said, to those who wouldn't do business with another company based on a simple post like this; I'd be willing to wager you aren't a very good businessperson. Whether you do or do not do business with them should be based on the product; maybe you don't think it's a good fit, maybe you do.

If I was an owner of a gay site thinking about dealing with another company such as XOD and found out my employee nixed a deal worth $xx,xxx a month for example over this thread, that employee would be fired on the spot :2 cents:

I wasn't actually offended just sick of all the gay threads on gfy sorry if I took it out on Rob. I am a good biz person with a good rep in the gay biz my reasons for not doing biz with Xondemand would not be based on this thread it would be based on the fact I get paid much much much more from other vod providers and xondemand has actually never approached me so who is the good biz person now! LOL.. happy day to ya

Bladewire 07-09-2009 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varius (Post 16047343)
In this particular case, I will vouch for Rob as someone who is not a racist or homophobe, thus when posting it I know there was no intent to offend the gay population of GFY

In this case I can vouch for Rob that he has serious Gay issues.

Rob used the terms faggot, fag, gaylord and so queer in a post that he thought was funny, it's clear he endorses offending members of the Gay community and finds it funny.

Without stooping to your level of "entertainment" we can all throw insults and bring each other down, or work together and make money. Either way XonDemands silence in this thread, which many have notified them about, is my que to never do business with them again.

Robs response of laughing it away just solidifies my business decision. :winkwink:

P.S.

You all forgot #8 on the list, the most important: The "straight" guy that can't stop talking about what makes a man Gay. This type of Gay guy tries to act straight by putting down others in the Gay community, with real straight guys, every chance he gets. He's always trying to prove how straight he is, while sneaking glimpses of Gay porn sites and reading emails from his "Gay friends". This rare type of Gay guy will often try to point out who's Gay on the streets with his straight friends and brag about how often he's hit on by Gay men. As stated previously, Rob has Gay issues.

Bladewire 07-09-2009 03:01 PM

Stereotyping people doesn't do them, or yourself, any good.

Objectifying people via stereotype does nothing but create distance and foster ignorance.

Usually in instances like this taking your money and support away from a company, or individual, is the best way for them to see where you're coming from.

I'm a single Gay father that's raised my 16 year old straight son since birth. It's difficult to absorb that I'm good enough to raise my son, yet he has more rights then I do. Coming to the board and seeing a company who wants my business posting the terms fagot, fag, gaylord, so queer, etc. when referring to people like me is insulting.

I have a great sense of humor but someone who crosses the line of funny to outright demeaning and demoralizing people for a laugh is not someone I will work with.


Quote:

Originally Posted by vod (Post 16047360)
hahaha... I laughed when I read this email from a GAY friend of mine!!!

so I created a thread and posted it here...( Are you gay?) only to here that people are requesting more threads

here are some more thread I will create... only to make it fair for everyone.. ;-) :thumbsup

Are you gay?
Are you straight?
Are you asian?
Are you lesbian?
Are you black?
are you white?
are you short?
are you tall?
are you bald?
are you hairy?
are you a teen?
are you an adult?
are you having any fun?
what are you?


JamesXR 07-09-2009 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by traumatics (Post 16047295)

Offensive, kinda. Hateful, no. FAIL, really quite accurate.

Generally the offensive part of it comes from the use of anything gay as derogatory. Also, using "a man" to mean a straight man generally implies that a gay man is not a man, which gets you in on offensive territory.

Really though those kinds of jokes weren't funny the first time the forward whores of the email world sent them around. They're like old fashioned jokes where the punchline has to do with women having jobs, "Oh the hilarious absurdity, I laughed so hard I almost dislodged my monocle. Oh women and their crazy notions of wanting to act like real people." This is the internet, and the internet demands newer more cutting edge humor, like cats with cheese on their heads and fat children having unfortunate things happen to them. Old recycled humor, from the days when comedians were complaining about the obnoxiousness of cell phone owners, is lame.

Varius does make a good point about a nick for personal use and one for business use, but in this particular situation, this thread was all about grabbing attention and signups for the company. Who reposts a joke like that for personal purposes?

Overall though, I'd put my money on ignorance over intent to offend, but that still leave it as a poorly thought out marketing effort that does not instill confidence in the company. Considering all of the bigger VOD competitors that XOD has to take market share from, establishing their company as the one that "doesn't get the gay market" just doesn't seem like the best branding strategy.

That's really just a long winded way of saying that I agree with cheese cat on this.

Ambergirl 07-09-2009 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenniDahling (Post 16044162)
I have to admit, I am a gay man trapped in a woman's body.

All except the washboard stomach part. Exercise is ghey.

DUUDE! You stole my line!

I too am a Gay Man trapped in a Woman's body! 100%!! And for those of you who do not understand, this means that I love d;ck, have great style and take care of my body.

Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's right

closer 07-09-2009 03:43 PM

Djeez.... some people take life on GFY way too serious!!!

mmcfadden 07-09-2009 03:54 PM

way way to serious...

Holly Lez! 07-09-2009 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by closer (Post 16047947)
Djeez.... some people take life on GFY way too serious!!!

This is mild compared to all the heterosexual male fighting and threatning to kill each other and blah blah LOL that is waaaay to serious mmmkay .

JockJuiceContent 07-12-2009 11:43 AM

I think you may have dug your own grave there buddy! Cause isn't the gay industry like 20-35% of your main business?




OOOOOPPPPPSSSSYYYYY!




-Chad

CyberHustler 07-12-2009 11:45 AM

:pimp:pimp

1200mics 07-12-2009 11:53 AM

Funny shit !!! I'm straight !

DWB 07-12-2009 11:56 AM

define "gay"

2012 07-12-2009 11:56 AM

http://www.fartfly.com/Senator_Craig_stall.jpg


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