Houseguests and Grocerys... Thoughts???
 

So you are having a houseguest and they are coming to your house and staying for several days. You go to the grocery store and they tag along with you.

You ask them if they are going to pick up anything?
They reply "nope"

You get to the check out and they sit on their wallet.

Anyone else think this is tacky?

Yes -- I think it is. I have frequent guests staying with me, and they always help out with the groceries, etc. If I were to stay with someone at their house for a week, I would make a point of making sure I was chipping in with the food costs.

very tackey. they should at least pretend to go for their wallet, and you can say it's cool, just take me out to a dinner.

Did I forget to mention that after the trip to the grocery store and you get this person back to your house, they dive into your pantry or fridge and start munching away!

Absolutely, the least they could have done was to offer some cash towards the cost, even if they knew you'd refuse it. Some ppl are just too damned cheap and have no manners.

Oh that is one more bone of contention... This person won't buy dinner either.

Miss Manners would bitch slap them.

Can you send her over?

Reminds me of the National Lampoon Christmas movie with Chevy Chase and the grocery store scene with Randy Quaid loading up the carriage. Guest should at least offer to take you out to dinner

i don't know i always pay for everything when i have house guests.. Always thought that is why we called them guests? If it was someone coming to stay with me for a few weeks then i might say we can each get our own stuff but if i know someone is coming to stay for a few days i'll normally go to the store and stock up on food and drinks

Well, I have house guests on a fairly regular basis and would never think of requesting assistance paying the grocery bill.

On the other hand, if I am a guest and we have to go to the store I will pay unless it is for stuff that they were going to need if I was there or not.

I think it's sort of an odd conundrum. On one hand, I think that the host should be willing and prepared to cover those expenses. On the other hand, I think that the guest should be willing and prepared to pitch in.

I've always gotten annoyed when people come over for a party early and just sit on the couch doing nothing while everyone else that is their early is up and about, preparing for the party.

In the past, in most cultures, the host should completely take care of everything for their guests. Not really the case in North America today though.

However, this person just seemed to be taking it for granted and not even offering, which is where I would draw the line. Either, let the host know you are broke / low on money and see what to do, or offer what you can even if it's then refused. Or offer to make up for it some other way (dinner, activity, chores, sexual favors...)

Let me add one wrinkle to the situation. This person was invited to come for a party I am having this weekend. They asked if they could come early and stay a few extra days.

This person is also a regular guest and comes to visit quite often yet never offers to pitch in or even cover a dinner.

Thoughts different now?

Yes. Why do you keep inviting them?

Started this thread as this is probably the last time they get invited. Just wanted to see what the thoughts were on the situation of the masses, and make sure I wasn't completely off my rocker.

You are, but it can be fixed.

My personal thoughts are a "regular guest" is not really a guest. They should absolutely be pitching in or a contributing in some way or another.

In my house I have no problem providing for my guests. This situation is just irking me slightly as the provisions are starting to seem all one sided.

I think...

If its only a few days, the guest should (sincerely) offer to pitch in, and the host has option to refuse.


if it is weeks - pay up or they better be fuckin' me - if they want the free ride. If not they can expect some quick termination of the present verbal agreement (family relations and my best of friends are excluded from this rule)


:2 cents:

Cash, Grass, or Ass! All others walk. My dad use to have that license plate frame when I was a kid

a _ _ will come to your house on Christmas and eat all your turkey skin.

ok this changes things. When I have a house guest it is normally someone that i don't see often and want to see them. I will normally pay for everything if i want them to come stay with me and that includes dinners out and stuff.. but if this person is inviting himself to stay at your place often then yes it would be a problem unless they were female and putting out haha.. I would just simply not invite them to more parties and if they ask to come stay with you say it's not a good time and make up something.

it's really all your making.

1st, when a friend comes over to stay, you need to figure out right there whether you do not mind covering meals and such or are you expecting them to chip in.\


if you are expecting them to chip in you really should of said something at the time to chip in.

something like, what are you planning on eating? what you are u going to do for yourself to maintain sustenance?

if you want, we can make spaghetti, etc. you can can chip in and i can make it, whatever, etc.

I think I will go this route if I ever invite him again

That's a tricky one. I have a friend with the same problem. Her best girlfriend always invites herself over, sometimes ends up crashing there for days, drinks, eats, etc etc then leaves without a) cleaning up or b) paying for anything. Quite a frustrating situation.

Maybe ask him the day before the party to contribute something to the mix? ie: "Oh hey, can you bring some dip/chips/etc for the party?" At least get someting out of it, right?

yes, and then leave right after

I drive to a nice small city every couple months and stay with a friend for a couple days. I've gone grocery shopping with her and I don't offer to pay, but I take her and her kids out to at least one breakfast and dinner while I'm there. Plus I buy drinks when we go out. Works out pretty good for both of us.

If it's a close family or friend, and If your rich who gives a fuck. Cheap bitch!

My father in law came and stayed with us, apparently to visit his kids. He spent the entire time out with his buddies drinking. He didn't pay for anything the entire time, and even "borrowed" $40 from me. When we picked up food he got squat, but always asked what he could feed his 3yo daughter that we had in the house.

That annoyed me, and everyone in the family.

I don't think I was being cheap. I think he was being a dick. You stayed at my place instead of a hotel for free and didnt even chip in? Rude.

What the hell is wrong with people

If and when I stay at someones house I always pay for my own shit, I mean they are letting me stay there for free, right?