Should women get child support even if the man has 60% custody?
 

I don't fuckin understand this world. I am the worlds best dad, I do so much for my daughter, signed her up for kindergarten, took her to her first dentist visit, etc... I watch my daughter Monday through Friday (5 days per week) but yet people still tell my ex-wife that I'm a loser dead-beat dad because i don't support my daughter, WTF??? My ex lives off her boyfriend and he always complains that he has to buy my daughters groceries and pay for weekend activities, etc... isn't this my ex wifes responsibility? If anything shouldn't she be paying support to me?

I pay for my daughter Monday through Friday, buy most of her clothes, Pay for dental, health and I even give my ex money when she is behind on small bills. We get along well so we never set up anything through the courts.

I had a talk about this to a girl that collects child support and she said even though I have majority custody that I should still be paying child support, this gets me so fuckin angry. These days there are just as many ways for women to make money as guys if not more. Sorry woman but this makes me feel like you guys are fuckin retarded or something. My ex just needs to go get a fuckin job. End of my rant. :mad:

Be careful. Documetn what you are doing because if she goes off the rails and drags you to court then she could not only get custody she could also get back support. If you do all of that just make it afficial as no you would not be liable fo child support in the US under these circumstances. Alimony yes but child support no.

there really needs to be a huge case that will change the way favor women. the rights of fathers have been abused and shrugged off for decades. i for one am tired of it. there is no way you should have to pay as you are the main caregiver. if your ex can't afford to pay for her, you should get 100% custody in my opinion.

I'm not going to comment on what is right or wrong since that is all subjective, but I will give you a word of advice... you said nothing was ever setup through the courts? Big mistake. BIG mistake. The moment she gets pissed at you is the moment that she runs to the courts saying you are a deadbeat. You are automatically guilty until you prove otherwise.

If you truly have custody more than 1/2 the time AND can prove it. File for support... if nothing else to protect you from future anquish.

We were only married for less than a year so she can't get Alimony but child support is still an issue.

Its hard, we get along so great but I do worry that if maybe I ever have a bad year or something when my daughter is older that she will take me to court and try to get money.

Support is based upon custody. If you share custoday your support is reduced by that percentage. It isnt as though since you have 51% that you do not have to pay anything. Its not a majority issue.

Since you do have 60% she should be paying you... more than you pay her. And there should be offsets for other things you pay for outside of what normally is paid for.

Get a lawyer and good luck. Fathers do have rights in California, but really it is what is best for the child not the parents.

You guys are funny. SHE HAS NO JOB. How exactly is she supposed to pay him?

Child support is figured out by taking her income and his income and adding it together. This is the amount of money this child should have access to. Then they say well, she makes 20% of the money and he makes 80% and they figure out how much each is responsible for. Seeing as how she makes 0% he's not going to get a dime out of her, and taking her to court will most likely result in him having to pay HER.

Doesn't matter if her bf makes a million dollars a year. That's not HER income, so it's not something they will even look at.

I pay damn near $450 a month and in child support and in the 10 months before I knew for sure the kid was mine I racked up $8,000 in back support. I would be VERY careful because if she wants to be a bitch, right before your kid turns 18 she can take you for support and collect on the past 17.x years.

I think child support is a fucked up system. My kids mom makes probably twice what I do and I somehow get stuck with a huge number that no one I've talked to can figure out.

I would definitely file for support before she does. If anything you can force her to get a job. If I'm getting a paycheck, my child support comes right out of that, if not I still have to send in a money order every month or she blows up my phone asking where "her" money is. Ridiculous.

Unless the two parents have reached an arrangement where the mother will a stay-at-home mother, "having no job" could quite possibly be a choice that she has made. I don't see why the father should have to pay for that choice. Her boyfriend definitely should not.

My parents had split custody when I was young. No child support changed hands.

It doesn't matter. I was going to school when I went down to figure out what I owed, I had $0 a month income, and since I was living somewhere for free I had no bills. So no money coming in or going out.

They did some fucked up math too fast for me to catch and figured I owed 3xx a month with 10k in back support, or 5xx a month with 6k back. I met them in the middle.

Doesn't matter if you are working or not, they WILL make you pay something. I made sure to have a clear bank account for months before and months after, and it still didn't matter. They simply don't give a fuck about the guy in the situation.

My aunt's ex is a complete deadbeat.. their son lives with her, yet she has to pay him alimony, pay to fly the kid to the dad, etc. He works for his dad and hides all his income, so it works both ways.

No court is going to force her to get a job. If he takes her to court and they see that he makes 100% of the money, they are going to make him pay her.

if she has no job then she should have no custody, no? part of being a responsible parent is ensuring you can pay for your child.

Don't give her a nickel in cash, check only and document your weekly expenses in a journal. It only takes a few minutes a day but could save a huge lump sum in the future.

Get this shit...my brothers ex-wife did a parental kidnapping. He couldn't track his daughter down for 10+ years until he found her on MySpace when she was 16. They reunited, hit it off and his daughter moved in with him for two years.

My brothers wife works for the state's child support division. My brother's ex got word of this and thought his new wife was a lawyer and didn't put up any fight.

When the ex found out she was an assistant and not an attorney, she filed for back child support two weeks before my nieces 18th birthday.

You'd think my brother wouldn't be obligated because it was parental kidnapping across state lines.

He is being told it doesn't matter and he will be obligated to pay ... and that his ex did it right before the 18th birthday because had she waited, the back support would have went straight to the kid.

The lesson is ... even though somebody steals your daughter, flees the state and does a very good job of hiding out ... you're still fucked.

Incorrect in some states. If she is totally unemployed she will be assigned an income level for support configurations. :2 cents:



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This will be based on her previous jobs.. so if she never worked. How do they figure that?

That's how they nailed that guy above with $0 income. They determined that he should be able to make X amount of money based on his education. They don't care if he doesn't have a job yet. If she's always lived off a man, he isn't going to get much out of her.

lol Try saying that to a judge and see where it gets you. ;)

Even an unemployed deadbeat father gets visitation rights.

She/he is assigned a minimum amount by the court. This can be minimum wage x 40 hours or higher. If she/he has even a pt time job flipping burgers then that amount is used. But in my state zero is never used.



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Keep you receipts and have her sign something every time you give her money for small bills. May be a bit awkward at first but you'll cover your own ass...

If you ever go to court for back child support, bust out the receipts... she won't have anything to show :P

They will assign you an amoun based of what they think you could make. But they do it BEFORE your taxes are taken out, not based off of what your paycheck states after all is said and done.

im not saying take away visiting rights but the justice system is moronically basis to women even when they are unfit and jobless.

Don't comment on child support on a board like gfy. If she ever finds it, you can bet she'll use it against you in court.
WG

solution:

http://www.pandadesigns.net/files/br...man_monkey.jpg

Yup. And since he's a pornographer.. or at least I'm figuring he is since he posts here.. he needs to be really careful not to piss her off. She could say anything and he's going to get raked over the coals and may lose his ability to even see his daughter without someone watching him. (supervised visitation)

She's nice to you now.. is it really worth taking her to court in the hopes of getting a couple bucks out of her, to see how nasty she can get?

Well to be clear in MN if he proves he has the child 50% or more of the time he would not have to pay child support. Medical insurance probably but you are doing that.

Here is a good website that should help you out -

http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/ch...rt/california/

No one suggesting he go after her. We are suggesting he cover his ass. Document what he is doing. Find some way to prove that she is with you 5 days a week. Stuff like that.

Support is paid from the non custodial(her) to the custodial (him). But since it is not from the court he does not want to find out she is claiming the other side.

if a court thinks writing html/css for porn sites being a pornographer they are clearly clueless. anyone with a good lawyer would get around that easily, unless of course they are producing/acting in porn.

/thread

:thumbsup

i dont agree that the man should get child support if he is in the life more than the woman ive seen this happen many ocassions very fucking stupid.

OP you should of taken to the courts regardless of how you feel about your ex. the child support is for the child and all to often one or both parents play to many games with the kid. from screwing around with support to fucking with visitation or fighting with who gets to use the kid when it comes to taxes.
do whats best for your kid and get it settled once and for all in the courts. latter on if you want you can get it ammended but get it settled. cover how much should be paid to whom, who has what custody, and cover the tax issue as well. on the tax issue if you are at 50/50 custody it is often best to just allow her to take odd years and you take even years. otherwise it can result in more fights.
if you do have majority custody and she just has visitation, then you really need to get this all settled in the court. you also should get the full tax credit, and get child support from her. do not pull the whole i do not need her money trip either. the money is for your kid. does not matter if you need it or not. if you have plenty, take the kids support money and place it in a safe fund for her latter on in life. just a parent never should deny funds that should belong to thier child.

when my father divorced my mother, he got full custody of myself and my two brothers. he went to the court and got full custody and child support, my mother got limited visitation that was monitored.
she had her wages garnished, so she quit. the courts got involved again and it got to the point that if she did not seek out employment that her skills and experience qualifies her for, or jobs that require less then she would be found in contempt and faced jail time. she eventually fled to another state and thought she would be ok. which she was until the laws changed again in the late 90's and it covered the issue of a parent hiding out in another state.

I didn?t read the whole thread before I wrote this so some of it is going to be repetitive but here you go:

It all depends. All states use a simple mathematical worksheet. If you make a lot more money than your ex it could be that you owe your ex some support. Say you make 100k and your ex makes $20k a year in this simple example you would be responsible for roughly 80% of the costs of raising your mutual child she would be responsible for the other 20% so even though you have her more than your ex you could end up owing her support for the time she spends with her mom.
A real easy way to find out for yourself is to type your states name and ?child support worksheet? into Google and do the calculations yourself. This work sheet is what the court uses to determine who owes who what. Most states look at overnights for determine who has her % of the time. If you simply have her five days a week and she goes home at night with mom you?re not going to get much credit for that. Start keeping detailed records of when you have and when her mom has her write it down because if she ever takes you to court she is going to say something different than what reality is. Also write down things like doctors visits. As for her unemployment most states would look at that as voluntary and base her support obligation on what she made at her last job and if she never worked regularly then minimum wage times 40. It could very well be the case that she owes you money.

So she gets a lawyer and says he does porn and "god knows what else" when he has his little daughter staying with him. The cops get involved. His computers are taken to be sifted through and somewhere in an internet cache is some awful image he accidentally viewed by looking at gfy.. maybe something like 2 girls 1 cup is stored in there.. who knows.

Now he's got all his computers taken, so he can't earn a living, anything on them can be twisted to make him look like some kind of messed up pervert.. ya see what I'm saying?

All she has to do is cry that he's a sick pervert doing awful things to her darling daughter and they aren't going to have a sit down chat with him and accept that she's a lying ho.

Stop listening to people on GFY and consult a family law attorney in your area.

:Oh crap:Oh crap

1st... Don't trip about what her friends woof, all they get is her side of the 'sob' story.

2cnd... as suggested document and keep receipts for everything, get a lawyer and get a court order on custody/support.

3rd... Be a real man/dad and go for 100% custody. I did, and I got it. So like you I have M-F with my son, all the firsts and school events.. plus I get him on the weekends too.

I think it is based a lot of income level too. If she has little or no income you will still end up paying support. If she is a deadbeat, or you think you are paying too much get a lawyer and consult. You can take her to court and let the court set the amount.

It might be better for you to do this now than to have her get pissed at you some day and take you to court saying you are a deadbeat.

And like everyone else has said, document everything.

And if it goes down like that she can forget about getting much, if any, child support from the dude for a long, long time, if ever.

Not exactly in the child's best interests but, yeah, it could happen.

Being well versed in CA Family Law, yes, you still have to pay support. Technically, under CA law you are both paying support to the child.

i made a little audioblog about CS and babymommas a few weeks ago... i did not know that support was based on % of custody. now i understand in retrospect why my ex was so adamant about me signing over full custody to her. glad that i didn't, i knew something was sneaky there

And you don't find that horribly stupid and sexually biased? I remember reading a story where a girl said her husband had CP images on his computer in an effort to fuck him over. The cops didn't find any CP but did find images and video of her fucking the dog. :1orglaugh

:thumbsup

I can only comment on my case a few months ago, it depends on where the child sleeps, get's his/her clothes washed, where they brush their teeth, who does their laundry and who is on the school records as the 'main' address for the child.

I agree fathers get fuc**d over royaly :mad:

I have joint shared (50%) custody of my kids and still pay a ton in child support.

The system is definitely flawed, but it doesn't look like its changing anytime soon.

I think the best way to avoid this is don't have kids with cunts.

Yes its great having no kids ;) all girls are evil in this situation...

What does "should" have to do with it?

Good luck!

wtfent, sorry to hear that man...that's just depressing..

i do agree the law is more bias towards women.

Child support is utter fail. Imagine being a parent, having your child more or less legally taken away from you (oh, but you get your child for six hours every other weekend), and then being told that that a rather large percentage of your income for the eighteen years goes to other parent? That's some bullshit right there kids. They legally restrict you from seeing your own child, and then take money from you. Beautiful system.

It's not about a father loosing his rights and having to pay support; It's about one parent getting totally screwed while the other benefits.

I think from now fathers should decide who gets custody, and who pays support. I want to see women coughing up 30% of their income for eighteen years while they get to see their kids every other week for six hours. Let's see how it feels when it's flipped around.

As mentioned on here: "get it in writing"
go through the courts and get EVERYTHING in writing...
it doesn't matter how well you get aong now, all it takes is her to get pissed off once or a new boyfriend to enter her life and say "what's going on here?" and you're fucked.
believe me, I pay more in support than some of you guys make, so get it in writing and don't fuck around...

for those fathers trying to ditch their support...I hate them all and question their manhood. Take care of your kids. I do everything in my power to make sure my suppoirt is always paid and always on time. Mother's a deadbeat/ so what. pay your support...don't ever make it something that comes back on you. Don't ever make your kids go without by being a selfish prick...sorry, a little venting for a sister who hasn't seen a dime of support in YEARS....

how can you guarentee the money is going to the kid and not the new boyfriends drug habit...