CEO of J.P Morgan's Fantastic reply to a Pretty Girl
 

CEO of J.P Morgan's Fantastic reply to a Pretty Girl

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?


I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here:
I'm 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.
I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high:
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary?
Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden, $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out?
(Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking?
I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty



Awesome reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest.
Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.
Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.
The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money":
Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason.
The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset.
It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation.
If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted.
It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.
I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy.
And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...

J.P. Morgan CEO

I would advice that you forget



So now the CEO of JPMorgan can not write properly?

"If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me"

Fake as Obama vs. Sheen. But this one is actually funny

he killed that girl right off!

"However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason.
The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset."

Funny response, too bad it was written by some back woods douche masturbating about being someone important.

welcum to da interwebz

[ timeline pic ] :winkwink:

fake or not, it is quite funny :)

The CEO of J.P. Morgan is one of the hottest people on Wall Street right now.

Funny story though.

Old as the hills.

And if it were true, it wouldn't have so many grammar mistakes.

I am sure jp morgan would be smarter than that. A pretty woman is usefull in many more ways, including profit.

definitely not written by him, but certainly a smart (although poorly written) answer

this story is way old, but i seem to recall there was some truth to it and the guy got in some trouble..

Lol great story! Many valid points made there...

Oldie but a goodie

this was taken from craigslist from about 2 years ago or so... and it was rewritten... the original is a bit more eloquent.. and it wasn't the "CEO of JP Morgan" that replied.

Anyone who believes what they read in chain letters should be sterlized. We need to exclude them from the gene pool.

This is really old and from Craigslist, and the response is not from the CEO of J.P. Morgan. :2 cents:

yea that is pretty darn old

The CEO of JP Morgan and Stanley has time to troll forums? Now that's interesting.

what a guy tha jp morgan.

http://www.ts4.com/Quotes/Pictures/JPMorgan.jpg

No problem can be solved until it is reduced to some simple form. The changing of a vague difficulty into a specific, concrete form is a very essential element in thinking.
J. P. Morgan

No matter who wrote it, it's kind of funny.

Actually, moneygrubbing girls like her will fuck guys in NY that make 40K a year, --- they just won't settle down with a guy like that. But the poor guy is better off just fucking her and kicking her out, because she'd just spend all his money if he had any.

A fool and is money are easily parted.

No fool makes $500k+/yr.

Welcome to yester-year