Tgif (joke inside)
 

:1orglaugh have a good weekend :thumbsup

There is this girl and her father walks into her bedroom and she's sitting there with a vibrator
in her hand. Her father says "jenny what the hell are you doing?!" and she says im 42 and i
live at home with my parents i have no life! So he walks out of the room with his head down.
The next day jenny go's to have a drink at the local pub orders a drink and see's her father.
drink in one hand and the vibrator in the other and jenny says "what the hell are you doing?!!"
and he says having a drink with my son in law.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

clif notes for stupids like me :D

Aaaaaaaaaahahahahaha!

I don't get the joke.

canadians :disgust :1orglaugh :helpme

Hahahaha...it is a nice one.

yes. nice joke. made me chuckle.

laughing bump

Good one... :1orglaugh

A now, a little Friday the 13th joke:

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.....Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

:drinkup

ADG

The second joke is even better

second one made me laugh lol .. first was ok.

What did the racist Nazi concentration camp commandant say to the black prisoner?


Hey, you! Get to the back of the oven!!

:1orglaugh

i like mine better

A Highway Patrol cop was sitting in his police car across the street from a bar at 1:30 in the morning when he saw a man come stumbling out the door. The man, obviously inebriated, began walking across the parking lot. On the way to his car he dropped his keys and had a hard time finding them. Finally, after finding them, he made it to his car, but then it took him a couple of minutes to unlock the door. Once he got into the car he passed out. The cop was still watching him as the bar closed and the rest of the patrons left.

A few minutes after the parking lot emptied the man came to, started up his car and began to drive away. The Highway Patrol cop pulled him over and arrested him for drunk driving.

After they get down to the police station the cop give the guy a blood alcohol test and the results come up 0.0%. So the cop asks the guy, "How is this possible" to which the guy replies - "Tonight, I was the Designated Decoy!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!:1orglaugh:thumbsup

hahahahahahahah

more jokes! please

A Muslim guy on my street has doused himself in gasoline, set fire to himself and burnt to death. So now we're taking up a collection for his family.

So far, we've got 80 gallons!

hmm thats a racist joke klan meeting is friday :1orglaugh

very funny !

A drunken farmer throws open the door to his home and staggers in with a duck under his arm. His wife says... you worthless drunk, what do you think your doing. The drunken farmers says... This is the fat, ugly pig that I have been screwing for the last 10 years! His wife says you fucking drunk, thats not a pig, Its a duck! The drunken farmer says... I was talking to the duck! :winkwink:

:1orglaugh:thumbsup

classic!!!

hahahha, nice try, mmmm

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you give me a free beer?" The bartender looks at him and says "Sure, but it better be good. I've seen a lot of amazing things." Upon hearing this the man opens up his coat and takes out a bag and out of the bag he pulls a small piano, a small stool and a Hamster. He sets them on the bar and the Hamster pulls the stool up to the piano and begins to play. The bartender says to the man "Hey, that is kind of amazing, but it's not the most amazing thing I've ever seen." The man tells the bartender to hold on a second and reaches once again into the bag. This time he pulls out a Bullfrog. He sets it down next to the piano and the Bullfrog begins to sing "Old Man River" accompanied by the Hamster. A customer sitting at the end of the bar says to the man "That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" He then offers to buy the Bullfrog from the man. The man sells the Bullfrog to the customer for $100 and the customer takes the Bullfrog and leaves. Seeing this the bartender says to the man "What the hell are you doing, you just sold a gold mine!" To which the man responds - "Don't worry about it, the Hamster . . . . . He's a ventriloquist!"

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!" He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" the lawyer asked. "You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door." "Oh, yes," the jury foreman replied. "We all looked ... but your client didn't!"

:1orglaugh

Bump....