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-   -   Who knows bible passages? My "born again" sister needs a smack down ... (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=946656)

BossDVDs 01-04-2010 03:30 PM

Who knows bible passages? My "born again" sister needs a smack down ...
 
So my (older) sister is one of those super-annoying born again bible thumpers who is able to spin ANY conversation to include a lesson about God ... now I'm not saying I'm pro/con God, spirituality, etc., but like I said she's BEYOND moderation and simply annoying ...

anyway I got a new spread & I've been doing work on it for the past 2 months and from time to time my family will go over to see the latest work ... anyway, she's taken this opportunity to flat-out invade my privacy & go thru all my shit when I'm not home (WTF right?)

Well, I puff on 420 and apparently she looked in my medicine cabinet & saw my fairly large selection of So Cal's finest ... and like the good rat she is went to my parents & told them they should have a talk with me about my drug problem. Well, my parents called laughing saying they couldn't believe what a rat she was & couldn't believe the nerve she had to go thru my shit (my parents & I have a great relationship and respect I'm a grown man living my own life).

So I text her telling her that I heard about her invasion of my privacy especially in my own house & that if she had something to talk about she knew how to reach me ... and to otherwise mind her own biz. She hasn't responded but I know she'll come with some Bible bullshit and so I want to have a verse ready for her showing the bible even says to mind her own business ....

so my question for all the gfy preachers ... is there a verse I can quote?

The Duck 01-04-2010 03:31 PM

I see where you are coming from, but. Wrong place to ask man, wrong place. :)

papill0n 01-04-2010 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BossDVDs (Post 16708334)

so my question for all the gfy preachers ... is there a verse I can quote?

yeah here is one for ya

"fuck off bitch before satan rapes your arse and fills your ears with cum!"

BossDVDs 01-04-2010 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Duck (Post 16708343)
I see where you are coming from, but. Wrong place to ask man, wrong place. :)

I've been surprised many times over by the number of intelligent folks who lurk on this forum. Granted there are far more tools on here but hopefully this thread filters thru the sheep

MaDalton 01-04-2010 03:36 PM

slip her some roofies and shoot a nice sleeping rape video with her and post it here

JD 01-04-2010 03:36 PM

"thou shalt mind thine own fucking business-eth"

BossDVDs 01-04-2010 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by papill0n (Post 16708362)
yeah here is one for ya

"fuck off bitch before satan rapes your arse and fills your ears with cum!"

Nice ... this is actually perfect. passage? verse? Otherwise didn't happen :2 cents:

MaDalton 01-04-2010 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BossDVDs (Post 16708363)
I've been surprised many times over by the number of intelligent folks who lurk on this forum. Granted there are far more tools on here but hopefully this thread filters thru the sheep

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaDalton (Post 16708368)
slip her some roofies and shoot a nice sleeping rape video with her and post it here

i guess i failed :Oh crap

BradM 01-04-2010 03:37 PM

Explain that people who believe in religion are ignorant fools, and that really shows when she goes through your crap and thinks it is her business to police your life. Then next time she does it, inform her you will be calling the police.

Quentin 01-04-2010 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BossDVDs (Post 16708334)
So my (older) sister is one of those super-annoying born again bible thumpers who is able to spin ANY conversation to include a lesson about God ... now I'm not saying I'm pro/con God, spirituality, etc., but like I said she's BEYOND moderation and simply annoying ...

anyway I got a new spread & I've been doing work on it for the past 2 months and from time to time my family will go over to see the latest work ... anyway, she's taken this opportunity to flat-out invade my privacy & go thru all my shit when I'm not home (WTF right?)

Well, I puff on 420 and apparently she looked in my medicine cabinet & saw my fairly large selection of So Cal's finest ... and like the good rat she is went to my parents & told them they should have a talk with me about my drug problem. Well, my parents called laughing saying they couldn't believe what a rat she was & couldn't believe the nerve she had to go thru my shit (my parents & I have a great relationship and respect I'm a grown man living my own life).

So I text her telling her that I heard about her invasion of my privacy especially in my own house & that if she had something to talk about she knew how to reach me ... and to otherwise mind her own biz. She hasn't responded but I know she'll come with some Bible bullshit and so I want to have a verse ready for her showing the bible even says to mind her own business ....

so my question for all the gfy preachers ... is there a verse I can quote?

I'm here to help. :winkwink:

Try Luke 6:41 - 6:42 on for size:

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

(I prefer "log" as the translation over "plank," myself, but this will do in a pinch.)

This is typically cited when there's overt hypocrisy taking place (which would only be the case if your sister smoked weed, too, I suppose) but it is also used in a broader sense to mean something like "don't criticize your brother's foibles when you suffer from greater foibles yourself."

"Let he who is without sin among you cast the first stone" is always a good one to bust out, too.

goldfish 01-04-2010 03:42 PM

just a google search away..



Helpful Not Helpful
1 Thessalonians 4:11 ESV / 11 helpful votes

And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,

Helpful Not Helpful
John 21:20-22 ESV / 6 helpful votes

Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who had been reclining at table close to him and had said, “Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?” When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”

Helpful Not Helpful
1 Timothy 5:13 ESV / 4 helpful votes

Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.

BossDVDs 01-04-2010 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Duck (Post 16708343)
I see where you are coming from, but. Wrong place to ask man, wrong place. :)


Quote:

Originally Posted by Quentin (Post 16708388)
I'm here to help. :winkwink:

Try Luke 6:41 - 6:42 on for size:

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

(I prefer "log" as the translation over "plank," myself, but this will do in a pinch.)

This is typically cited when there's overt hypocrisy taking place (which would only be the case if your sister smoked weed, too, I suppose) but it is also used in a broader sense to mean something like "don't criticize your brother's foibles when you suffer from greater foibles yourself."

"Let he who is without sin among you cast the first stone" is always a good one to bust out, too.

Nuff said :2 cents: :thumbsup

Thanks Q, this is perfect

POed-poster 01-04-2010 03:48 PM

Read the following site. You'll get lots of ideas. Refer it to her so she can see how completely full of bullshit the bible is. It belongs in the fucking toilet.

http://www.evilbible.com/

I use to be a bible thumper in another life, so I can relate to the hypocrisy and bullshit first hand.

Wizzo 01-04-2010 04:07 PM

Here's a pretty funny letter to Dr.Laura a few years ago:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim.. / message -->.. sig -->

Wizzo 01-04-2010 04:09 PM

Also, another good one to ask, is when God created light on the 1st day and didn't create the sun, moon, and planets on the 4th day, what kind of light was it? :winkwink:

Darkland 01-04-2010 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by POed-poster (Post 16708425)
Read the following site. You'll get lots of ideas. Refer it to her so she can see how completely full of bullshit the bible is. It belongs in the fucking toilet.

http://www.evilbible.com/

I use to be a bible thumper in another life, so I can relate to the hypocrisy and bullshit first hand.

Same here for over 20 years. That is an interesting site. You should check out "The God Delusion" by Dawkins if you haven't already.

I had a debate once about the war in heaven and the fall of the angels. Basically it went like this. List all the horrible things Lucifer did in the bible. They couldn't come up with anything other than tricking Adam and Eve into eating from the tree of knowledge. Now... List all the horrible things God did in the bible. They said there is none. I started pointing out all the mass murder, genocides, approval of incest or raping, etc. Once we had the tally, of which the one side was impossible to calculate immediately, I said: Do you think the right side one? Is that the leader you want to bow down to? I mean we have had dictators in the past that were labeled evil throughout history for doing maybe 1/1000th of the things done by your God? Why are they evil and not revered?

Something to think about.

lazycash 01-04-2010 04:18 PM

Matt 7:1 Judge not, lest thee also be judged.

Darkland 01-04-2010 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wizzo (Post 16708500)
Also, another good one to ask, is when God created light on the 1st day and didn't create the sun, moon, and planets on the 4th day, what kind of light was it? :winkwink:

That could be answered quite easily by a science/religious type follower.

Shortly after the Big Bang (creation) there was nothing but light. EVERYWHERE. It was literally called the "Wall of Light" and it didn't end until about 400,000 years after the Big Bang (creation).

What caused this light?

It (the universe) had yet to expand enough for it to cool and form anything as complex as atoms, let alone stars, planets or galaxies. The universe was infinitely smaller, hotter, and filled with a uniform glow because it was simply a cloud of white hot plasma.

POed-poster 01-04-2010 04:30 PM

Dude, I can so relate to this. I have the same kinds of discussions with them but they simply cannot or will not use logic and reason. I use that argument when the discussion gets around to abortion. They are always saying how God is against abortion, but when you see him murdering unborn children in their mothers' wombs because the moms didn't worship him, you almost have to believe that he is FAVOR abortion. He is worse than any abortion doctor because abortion doctors only operate with the consent of the woman. YHWH just fries them in the womb.

YHWH is the biggest genocidal tantrum throwing monster the world has ever known, in fiction and reality. He is worse than Stalin, Hitler, AND Satan COMBINED. Compared to YHWH, Satan is a fucking choir boy. But the faithful will never see him that way. They use his wrath to justify their own intolerance.

Dawkins is the antichrist to most evangelicals. It's funny because I use to consider him evil but now he is one of my heros. I guess I can understand Dawkins' anger. They are on a mission to destroy the theory of evolution, a theory which no reasonable person can deny, and destroy the reputation of scientists worldwide. I have been monitoring a number of right wing message forums and they have been going on and on about what they call climate-gate, which they take to be part of a massive conspiracy to deceive people that includes evolution. They think evolution is a theory for which the evidence has been made up. Scientists are soldiers of the NWO and the Illuminati and work for the Anti-Christ and the devil. How can you argue with people who have deluded themselves THIS MUCH? What RETARDS.

On the one hand, they have no problem believing that Jesus could walk on water and rise from the dead, but they think evolution is too far fetched to swallow. They are a bunch iof fucking morons.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkland (Post 16708501)
Same here for over 20 years. That is an interesting site. You should check out "The God Delusion" by Dawkins if you haven't already.

I had a debate once about the war in heaven and the fall of the angels. Basically it went like this. List all the horrible things Lucifer did in the bible. They couldn't come up with anything other than tricking Adam and Eve into eating from the tree of knowledge. Now... List all the horrible things God did in the bible. They said there is none. I started pointing out all the mass murder, genocides, approval of incest or raping, etc. Once we had the tally, of which the one side was impossible to calculate immediately, I said: Do you think the right side one? Is that the leader you want to bow down to? I mean we have had dictators in the past that were labeled evil throughout history for doing maybe 1/1000th of the things done by your God? Why are they evil and not revered?

Something to think about.


american pervert 01-04-2010 04:40 PM

what wizzo posted..

as for the weed. ask her, god created everything on earth. she says yes. then state, "you are saying god made a mistake when he make pot??"

BossDVDs 01-04-2010 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by american pervert (Post 16708595)
what wizzo posted..

as for the weed. ask her, god created everything on earth. she says yes. then state, "you are saying god made a mistake when he make pot??"

Another good point :thumbsup

Quentin 01-04-2010 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wizzo (Post 16708486)
Here's a pretty funny letter to Dr.Laura a few years ago:

Ah yes -- that letter is a classic. I remember that making the rounds via email back in '99 or 2000.

That's the problem with proclaiming yourself a strict adherent to ancient religious dogma of just about any sort; if you actually read the Exalted Terms and Conditions of that ancient religious dogma, it quickly dawns on you that you've basically just proclaimed yourself to be insane by any reasonable modern standard.


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