For Those of You with Children....
 

When your child gets to the teen years, are you planning to be 'the cool parent' who let's them smoke, drink, enjoy some pot, hand out condoms and what not? Or are you planning to be the goose stepper with the shot gun (if you have a daughter)?

For those older who's kids are gone. What did you do in hindsight?
:helpme

My daughter will be there in about 7 years... to be honest I think the only thing I'm going to be "cool" about is safe sex. I'd rather not think about her getting into that, but it's going to happen sooner or later, I'd rather have a kid who makes it to adulthood without getting pregnant. :1orglaugh

Somehow I hardly think that dad having a talk to her about safe sex is "cool" though

I'm trying to keep disney world a secret.

:1orglaugh Nice! Maybe I'm just sleepy but I'm laughing my ass off.

thats tricky...

in all honesty...

a boy gets more freedom privileges. A girl gets more pampering.

When they are of age. They get to make their own decisions to an extent. Would I allow things that arent technically legal at the time for them. Not sure but I think quite possibly on occasion. BUt then again I hate drunkenness so im sure i would instill in my offspring the same outlook on how substances abuse people and usually ruin lives.

If a daughter.... yes shotgun was in mind... that in my right hand... A pair of pliers in the left. Not that she wouldnt get her chances at men cause god knows they need them... usually ;) But Ill be damned if my daughter isnt with a good guy.

This is all ideal hope of course because you never truly have a solid grip on people growing up...




after thinking about it... I hope im exactly like my mother was...

Yes she was strict but she was the cool mom... All my friends call her mom.

Many are smart enough nowadays not to smoke or do drugs.they might experiment but if they have a good head on their shoulders and strong support ,they will do what they do.everybody has a vice

So its cool to drink and smoke? I always thought thats stupid.

I was a father not a buddy.

Its not some random call you make in the later years. You put the groundwork in early.

Buddy to your wife

Not exactly, but we won't go there. :upsidedow

depends on how my kids handle life...

I had an ex's parents who actually showed me a pretty solid path, that I think I will stick with... Their children had no restrictions, until they fucked something up... i.e.

If you are top of your class, holding down school/work, etc... you don't have a curfew and no rules are set...

If you are B average, dating an asshole/reject etc... you get 10pm curfew

C average, or worse troubles... you are on absolute lockdown till you learn to balance your life reasonably to enjoy the simple pleasures...

Well do make sure your school system is efficient to use that method...

Just syaing...

Went through it 20 years ago and about to go through it in 5 years time. :1orglaugh

If you're child gets to 13 and you have not instilled in him/her the virtue of moderation and responsibility then it's too late late to start.

What ever you say they will smoke, drink, date losers, have sex and be a teenager. The trick is to teach them the dangers of going too far and doing these things safely.

I was a hippy drop out in the 60s and learned the lessons of moderation and responsibility before I got to 13 from my parents. Seems not to have done me any harm. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Private schools were part of the equation... AP and advanced/honors classes were all that counted...

What he said :thumbsup

No cool parents, my child will learn to be good :)

:thumbsup

There was some P.S.A. that was on tonight, and made that very point. Hence the O.P..

bingo! while I am friends with my daughter... I am her father. my daughter tried drinking a few times when she was 16-17. now she has no real interest in drugs or booze at all anymore, no weed or porn either...

:1orglaugh

That made me laugh as well. A few friends of mine, who have kids in the 3-9 range, made the mistake of taking their kids there. Now, that's all they ever hear about on a daily basis.

i'd like to be the cool parent. take them to concert and stuff like that but when it comes to the serious stuff, i don't think i could just let it slide. of course they'll do whatever. lord knows i did.

I let my son smoke pot and would hook him up with condoms when he was a teen. He never has had much interest in drinking. He is now 21 years old and works for Microsoft on X-Box projects.

The only problem are other kids and what he hears from them, but I've been lucky in that department too.

Do you keep them away for Dora, that dancing black dude children's show, and toy stores also?

Well i have a 11 and 14 year old boys I try to be cool with them on certian things like saying hell or damn and try to be thier friend at times but I have already learned that u can not be cool/friend to your children! You have to be the parent no if's and's or but's about it! I don't know when they are 18 or older what will happen but as life goes now, nope 100% father/parent.

Well said.... Being a "cool" parent in not being a parent at all. Kids are going to do what they want to do because their friends are generally a far stronger influence than you will be. Your best hope for your kids to turn out well (IMHO) is to stress education, responsibility and safety. Put them into public schools based on test scores and graduation rates or private schools (if you can afford to do so) where the kids who DONT go on to good colleges are looked at as the losers. It costs me around $6800 a month for my 3 kids to go to school. And while it's a lot of money, I cant think of anything Id rather spend it on. Their successes, grades, test scores and desire to be involved in charities and help others have so far proven it to be the best investment I?ve made to date.

i have 2 kids 15 and 17 and as long as they are getting good grades and making good decisions i allow them a lot of freedom....i know all of their friends and what they do most of the time when they are with their friends...of course kids are kids and will do things but i have lots of trust in my kids

this is something obviously the average person could never do....

Sounds like a solid foundation fine sire.
:thumbsup

Good advice from a man i respect:thumbsup



:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

My daughter is 2 1/2 And she loves "Yo Gabba Gabba", "Dora", "Max and Ruby"and "Mehow Kylan"


I even bought tickets to the "Yo Gabba Gabba" stage show which is really popular right now. She loves that show and i kind of dig watching it with her. Its pretty good. One of the few shows that i can watch everyday. catchy songs too.



Having a child in this world really makes you think about a lot of things that i never thought about prior. The big one is when you hear about bad shit happening to other children. I cringe and get upset to my stomach at the news of harm, rape and abduction of children. Never bothered me or thought twice about it prior to having a kid.



Love having a daughter she is so smart an cute. We are expecting a son this August. Its tough coming up with names when you shoot content in this business. Especially girls names. OMFG!!! Every name we came up with for a girl was the name of some porn girl i knew or shot. I will have an easier time coming up with a boys name.


I will be a dad, not a friend. I have seen the friend thing go way wrong with friends i grew up with.:2 cents:

My dad gave me a beer to drink when I was a young boy and it tasted disgusting of course. Later when I was a teen all of my friends were becoming party obsessed alchoholics and I never bothered because IMO I had already been there done that. No big deal.

Another thing that really stands out in my mind is my dad gave me a talk when I was only about five yes old. He said you can cuss and say whatever you want around me but don't EVER speak like that in your mothers presence or any woman for that matter. To this day I'm 25 and have not cursed or used bad language in front of her.

I think that if you give them freedom there is no reason to be sneaky and do wrong shit. It's when your restrictive is when they will rebel or experiment with bad things. I really didn't have many rules at all but then again I never felt the need to break any.

I was pretty much always treated as an adult my whole child hood and therefore I pretty much acted like one.

I understand the private school part may not be an option for everyone, but stressing education and values is something that can be done regarless of ones financial situation.