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-   -   6 Things From History Everyone Pictures Incorrectly (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=976762)

ShellyCrash 07-06-2010 03:56 PM

6 Things From History Everyone Pictures Incorrectly
 
A friend of mine sent this to me and I found it pretty interesting-

Quote:

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages.../6/9/26069.jpg

It's a running theme here at Cracked that a lot of what we think we know about history has been filtered through many centuries of utter bullshit. Our image of the past is largely made up of Hollywood inventions, propaganda and uneducated guesses.

So you will probably be surprised to find that...


#6.The Pyramids Were Smooth, White and Shiny

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages.../7/7/26077.jpg

The Perception:

We get so busy being amazed by the Pyramids, with their massive, meticulously layered sandy golden bricks, that we forget that what we're seeing are the broken-down remnants. If you could see them new, you'd barely recognize them. They were much more awesome back then.

The Reality:

What we think of today as the Pyramids are really just the exposed layers of the structural base. The original pyramids lit up like the Times Square of ancient Egypt. Egyptians were all about having the maximum amount of glittery goodness, especially when it came to death.

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages.../7/8/26078.jpg

Pharaohs liked tacky shit? We would have never guessed.

And since the Pyramids were the tombs of the pharaohs, they made sure they were the biggest, most sparkly things of all. The original outside consisted of smooth, white limestone that hid the layers of brick, giving the effect that a pyramid was one giant solid piece. Don't take our word for it; you can still see bits of that decorative layer on some of them:

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages.../7/9/26079.jpg

That outer crunchy candy shell was then polished until it was on the verge of blinding from all the light it would reflect from the sun or moon. It was said that they could be seen from miles away, even during the night.


Of course that wasn't enough, so the capstone was then plated in gold or electrum. Had the technology existed, we're sure the pharaohs would have stuck 24-inch chrome rims on them, too....
Full Article w/ 5 more @ Cracked.com

woj 07-06-2010 04:08 PM

"Had the technology existed, we're sure the pharaohs would have stuck 24-inch chrome rims on them, too."

:1orglaugh

xNetworx 07-06-2010 04:12 PM

That was cool :thumbsup

dav3 07-06-2010 04:31 PM

i love cracked

garce 07-06-2010 04:47 PM

I used to buy that magazine all the time when I was a kid

fatfoo 07-06-2010 05:03 PM

Good luck remembering history correctly.
Sometimes people have trouble remembering what they saw in first person.
I like the dinosaur at the right of the header. It looks very nice.

Grapesoda 07-06-2010 05:35 PM

king tut had a grill!

pornguy 07-06-2010 06:18 PM

I had read about that as well.

Kool either way.

Caligari 07-06-2010 07:09 PM

great stuff! since when did cracked get so informative? i thought they were always along the lines of Mad, which in retrospect was informative in its cynical satire.

but out and out info articles...

rogueteens 07-06-2010 08:55 PM

oh, come on! All of those examples on that site are well known and pretty obvious. If you didn't know them then you must have had a really poor education.

psili 07-06-2010 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rogueteens (Post 17315337)
oh, come on! All of those examples on that site are well known and pretty obvious. If you didn't know them then you must have had a really poor education.

You were taught ninja, viking and pilgrim wear in school? And that velociraptors had feathers? I might be able to agree about the Greeks painting everything "ghey" color schemes, and the pyramids being all white and stuff, but I generally find your comment to be bullshit otherwise.

Chosen 07-06-2010 10:06 PM

I don't trust anyone who claims that he has complete knowledge of anything....

ottopottomouse 07-07-2010 03:38 AM

Knew some of that but not all of it.

#2.Jesus Looked Nothing Like the Paintings
Can't remember who it was but may have been King Henry VIII who chose a wife from a painting and got fucked over by the artist :1orglaugh

EliteWebmaster 07-07-2010 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by woj (Post 17314754)
"Had the technology existed, we're sure the pharaohs would have stuck 24-inch chrome rims on them, too."

:1orglaugh

Bling Bling :1orglaugh

ShellyCrash 07-07-2010 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse (Post 17315830)
Knew some of that but not all of it.

#2.Jesus Looked Nothing Like the Paintings
Can't remember who it was but may have been King Henry VIII who chose a wife from a painting and got fucked over by the artist :1orglaugh


You're right, it was Henery the VIII, the chick was Anne of Cleaves - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_of_Cleaves

rogueteens 07-07-2010 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psili (Post 17315362)
You were taught ninja, viking and pilgrim wear in school? And that velociraptors had feathers? I might be able to agree about the Greeks painting everything "ghey" color schemes, and the pyramids being all white and stuff, but I generally find your comment to be bullshit otherwise.

You honestly thought that vikings had big horns in their helmets and all that? :D And yeah, the rest of that stuff is basic schoolboy education. except for the velociraptor having feathers, for me at last as it is a theory brought in after i'd left school but even then the idea that dinosaurs had at least some feathers has been around for at least 40 years.

Sandokan 07-07-2010 06:11 AM

that`s cool infos about the pyramids

spazlabz 07-07-2010 06:15 AM

History is written by the conquerors.... archeologist are finding new information that debunks history all the time.... man I need to stop watching the history channel

Caligari 07-07-2010 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spazlabz (Post 17316100)
History is written by the conquerors.... archeologist are finding new information that debunks history all the time.... man I need to stop watching the history channel

which proves one thing...the so called "conquerors" are the ultimate losers to the truth, and while this doesn't help the people they maimed, slaughtered and enslaved it does forever change the way history will look at them.

Archeology is sexy.

pradaboy 07-07-2010 06:36 AM

I have wasted so many hours on Cracked... thanks for getting me hooked again lol

ShellyCrash 07-07-2010 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spazlabz (Post 17316100)
History is written by the conquerors.... archeologist are finding new information that debunks history all the time.... man I need to stop watching the history channel

No kidding. Zahi Hawass is so full of shit it drives me crazy.

I don't know if you follow any ancient egypt documentaries, and I'm not sure what his actual title is, but in a nutshell Hawass is pretty much the top egyptologist overseeing all archeology in the region for the Egytpian government. What makes me crazy is he does all these specials on History and Discovery, etc etc and he presents his theories as facts. When new information comes out and contradicts what he put out there before he just changes the story in the next special w/o skipping a beat.

If you watch something made even just a few years ago vs something made today it's like night and day. So what he told us he knew for fact backed by all this "evidence" was all bullshit and misinterpretation but NOW he wants us to believe he knows what he's talking about? :disgust

I just appreciate when theories are presented as just that, theories. I like a "this is what we found and this is what we think it might mean" set up. Our concept of history and the truth of actual events will always be skewed.

ShellyCrash 07-07-2010 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pradaboy (Post 17316154)
I have wasted so many hours on Cracked... thanks for getting me hooked again lol

Glad I could help :thumbsup

We all need a mental break sometimes.

seeandsee 07-07-2010 07:09 AM

I like that site, very good articles for read


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