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-   -   Let webmistress amber design & build your site (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=977406)

amberwitch1 07-10-2010 03:05 PM

Let webmistress amber design & build your site
 
Experienced webmistress offering an array of talents and services to enhance your bottom line. Can build from scratch or use your custom program requirements to augment what you have. Include details, programs and budget with your e mail to [email protected]. See a sample of my work at yourfetishparadise.com.

loreen 07-10-2010 03:22 PM

Welcome to the board, Amberwicth :)

Why is yourfetishparadise.com so wide?

amberwitch1 07-10-2010 04:48 PM

Reply To Loreen
 
Are you talking about the banners or just the site in general? It can be explained if you could be more specific in your query to [email protected]. Bigger is better no?

loreen 07-11-2010 12:11 AM

The site in general, I have to scroll it horizontally. As for 'bigger is better' rule... Don't think it applies here :)

Anyway, best of luck!
Take care :)

LongBG 07-11-2010 05:47 AM

I really wouldn't let you touch any site of mine if your "yourfetishparadise.com" is any indication of your skills.

Though I wish you the best of luck in this business.

Welcome to GFY.

ottopottomouse 07-11-2010 06:15 AM

Didn't realise such massive screens were available in 1995.

Would you like to add a few more keywords, I don't think you've covered everything under the sun yet.

Wiredoctor 07-11-2010 06:20 AM

No offense Amber but you need to fix that site ASAP. that is the ugliest attempt at a web design site i have ever seen. You are ruining your reputation before you even jave one....:2 cents::2 cents:

clicker 07-11-2010 06:22 AM

Is 1997 Vintage?

amberwitch1 07-11-2010 06:53 AM

posting reply to clicker
 
By definition, anything up to 20 yrs. old from the current year is considered classic. 20-25 years old is considered vintage and anything past that is archival, so if we want to get semantical, those are the breakdowns, thanks for asking.

amberwitch1 07-11-2010 07:05 AM

Reply to OttoPottoMouse
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse (Post 17326283)
Didn't realise such massive screens were available in 1995.

Would you like to add a few more keywords, I don't think you've covered everything under the sun yet.

We are brand new players on the block. And, judging from some of the other comments, they don't like us very much. If you have some keyword suggestions or strategies, we welcome them with open ears and arms, if you care to help.

amberwitch1 07-11-2010 07:40 AM

Replies to Wire Doctor and Long BG
 
For the both of you izods---Opinions are like gaping rectal cavities--everybody has one. Instead of being insulting, demeaning and vile creatures, like you are, why don't both of you smart guys do something beneficial and constructive---like offer some corrective suggestions to improve the product that we all seek.

This is the first time we have undertaken a commercial site. Every piece of sitebuilding we have acquired has been strict trial and error. No formal education in web design, ditto for any types of computer programming. We are not gifted or fortunate enough or brilliant, like you two geniuses, to be stalwarts of the p.c. community. We arrived at this forum/posting board because our research informed us that these are solid people. People with integrity, knowledge and the ability to assist and point newbies in the right direction.

If the two of you dolts are any indication of the type of flaming we can expect, then we may have erred in our selections. So, if all you two can do is toss personal volleys at our lack of skills, and cannot offer anything constructive to correct our shortcomings, that you perceive, here's a thought--why don't you just zip it real nice and tight and go assail somebody else. Just because you're both "advanced chipheads" or are legends in your own minds, we certainly don't need any of your venomous feedback to further impede our efforts.

I'm sure I could go into your sites and tear them apart and my command of verbage is vastly superior to both of yours. Had I more time, that would have been fun, but then I would be in violation of Eric's rules---something both of you should read again. Its very apparent your lineage & social skills were abandoned when you put down "Grand Theft Auto" and attempted to blend into the real world where real people exist.

Now, I could have posted this privately to your contact destinations, exhibiting a modicum of decorum and decency. However, since both of you wanted to massage your already inflated egos, and go public, then let the games begin. You might be better jellheads, but when it comes to scribing, I'll mop the deck with both of you.

ottopottomouse 07-11-2010 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amberwitch1 (Post 17326340)
We are brand new players on the block. And, judging from some of the other comments, they don't like us very much. If you have some keyword suggestions or strategies, we welcome them with open ears and arms, if you care to help.

suggestions-
  • you have too many keywords - makes it look like one of those sites that used to have 9000 words at the bottom of the page in the same colour as the background
  • stop writing in bold it makes you come across as a pompous twat whether that is what you intended or not
  • your site looks like it escaped from 15 years ago - if you actually want people to ask you to do work have a look at what other designers have in their portfolio to see what people will actually pay for
  • not everybody has a screen 9 miles wide and nobody wants to scroll sideways

Maybe you're just a bored troll looking for some entertainment but something of your replies makes me feel that you are actually genuine and just haven't really understood the way things work on gfy.

RadicalSights 07-11-2010 09:18 AM

this thread made me lol

loreen 07-11-2010 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amberwitch1 (Post 17326386)
No formal education in web design (...) We are not gifted

Then why are you offering your services as a web designer?

Tippy 07-11-2010 11:03 AM

This is all a joke right, please say its so...

LongBG 07-12-2010 04:15 AM

Just so everyone knows,

The person posting on that account is a Guy.. Pretending to be someone he is not.

boduzapho 07-12-2010 06:15 AM

I got nothing.... LOL

Lightning 07-12-2010 06:27 AM

This is a funny thread.....

gimme-website 07-12-2010 10:12 PM

I think your work rocks, I really do xx

loreen 07-12-2010 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gimme-website (Post 17330640)
I think your work rocks, I really do xx

I don't believe you :)

gimme-website 07-12-2010 10:38 PM

Thats why all these programs are failing, they dont take paypal!!
Amber has vision...

LongBG 07-16-2010 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gimme-website (Post 17330671)
Thats why all these programs are failing, they dont take paypal!!
Amber has vision...

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

RTP 07-19-2010 12:10 AM

holy watermark

http://yourfetishparadise.com/images...arra%20two.jpg

LongBG 07-20-2010 05:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RTP (Post 17345350)

Yes they're clearly going to become the next millionaires made in porn!

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

atom 07-29-2010 12:55 PM

wtf is going on in here? has to be a joke.

VladS 07-30-2010 05:04 AM

<meta name="generator" content="WYSIWYG Web Builder - http://www.wysiwygwebbuilder.com">

egm47 07-30-2010 04:24 PM

Bump bump bump....

pornsprite 07-30-2010 09:33 PM

I have had a good laugh and I have learned something here today. Don't offer services here unless you know at least a little about the service you are offering.

You most likely don't believe it now but you will laugh your ass off about this thread.once you learn what a halfway decent site looks like.

benherover 08-04-2010 11:18 AM

My favorite is the banners. There are so many to choose from!

LeRoy 08-16-2010 02:48 PM

Oh my. does everyone see what I see?

trannysphere 08-18-2010 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeRoy (Post 17419880)
Oh my. does everyone see what I see?

what you see?


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