UK to all other countries
 

Dear all,

Please do not start any wars with us as we no longer can afford them, nor do we have any gear.

We do have an expensive aircraft carrier but no planes on it. So I guess we could sail it up to you in an angry mannor then we will shout at you from the deck, though we have not much fuel to go in it. So please be only 15 miles from the UK.

If you do wish to attack us, please contact France first as they have now agreed to deal with things for us.

Yours,

The UK

You have nukes, that's alot more deterrent than Australia has.

Australia would last half an hour if Indonesia invaded us.

Why the fuck would anyone want to start a war with us? There's nothing left here worth fighting for, we already sold it all. I suppose we could sell the Royal family if anyone wants them?

Ours are out of date.

To be honest I do not see the need for the UK to have them.

We no longer have any enermies.

To launch nukes you have to get close in subs, otherwise long range nukes can be shot down. Plus without gps it makes them harder to direct (in a nuclear war the usa can switch gps off, so making it pointless to use).

In truth only usa, china, russia, uk (us), france, and a few other EU countries could launch nukes with any affect. And non are a threat to the UK or chances are ever will be.

To me nukes should simply be baned due to them being a cizillian weapon. And I always thought that weapons desined to kill civillians in war were illigall.

Considering ruusia and the usa have started to decrease nukes, it does seem foolish for the uk to try to re-new trident.

In truth most countroies cannot afford to have nukes. And even russia seems embarrased by them these. There was a time countries used to display there nukes with proide. These days they seem more of an embarresment.

You have to also remeber nukes are not 100% reliable, so many small countries woul;d not want to launch there nukes in case they are duds.

And the truth is I suspect, you can buy cheaper, and more powerfull weapons than nukes. Not as deverstating, but more affective if you need to atteack say a base.

The argintines are close to re-starting a war, as they want the oil.

They want the falkland irlands back.

And they know war would be unpopular now in the uk.

And they have not much to loose.

If they win its huge cash to them. There is a huge oil reserve (we just found it).

I agree with the above except for the French, Britain has been at war with the French for most of the last 500 years (20th Century aside) :P

Yes, but we are all part of the EU.

In fact we have now got an agreement for France and UK to use each others aircraft carriers to save cash. There has even been talk to merge the UK and French armys into one.

Besides France is no threat, they sureender at any point.

To be fair, you do have poisonous spiders and man eating sharks and such like that we don't have here.

I heard we we're setting up a new defence system...

Huge speakers on the cliffs of Dover booming out Give Peace a Chance...

And of course we still have the TA...

...ummm wait a minute...

I don't relish the thought of us having to use French aircraft carriers, they will probably smell of garlic, pretend not to speak English, and try to chat up our women.

I thought Muslims already owned you anyways? :1orglaugh

No, they have us on a 5 year lease with a 2 year break out clause.....

we have no fighter planes at all

our army uses equipment from the 1960s

and our war ships leak

so we are fucked

no

china, russaia and the usa own our football clubs.

france owns our nuclear powerstations.

the usa owns our chocolate.

china, indea, russia and everyone else owns our cars.

usa owns all the gas and electric firms.

japan and everyone else now owns our banks.

when you look at it like that, you sort of realise that no one would nuke us as they would be nuking there own businesses.

Its a country of 3 men and 100 million sheep.

and its miles from anywere.

no one is ever going to invade.

in fact i did not know you lot had electricity. i am suprised you have the internet.

Plus its called New Zealand. Where is the old one?

Also I forgot:

BA is run by the Irish.

The post office bank is Irish.

Asda (supermarket) is now owed by the USA.

The sat tv stations are owned by an ozzy, so are the newspapers.

But we still own Robin Relient (though I do not think they are being built anymore). So keep your hands off.

http://www.carrentals.co.uk/blog/wp-...in-reliant.jpg

british quality made and owned.

What if you sell all your CCTV cameras? You still wouldnt afford guns?

I think we should promote the uk's only remaining business.

so dont be thinking of buying the firm you yanks.

this belongs to us.

We've got chavs who are "bad hard" though!
Looks like were gonna be fist fighting or happy slapping the enemys!

round up all your boys aged 18-22, give them a knife and a bottle of vodka each and you'll have your empire back in no time

Because they hate our freedoms?

Wow empire? :xomunch

Look like the Spanish are already closing in, Its been kept low key in the news but Gibralter have been crying for help and refused it by the UK govenment. It seems that The Gibraltar police arrested a Spanish man on the island's soil only for the Spanish army to use physical force to get the man back.

They already have knives and bottles of vodka, but all they do is get drunk and start fights. That's why you can't go for a decent night out in any town centre any more.

I went out recently in a small town in rural Sussex, and every single establishment that stayed open late had to have a bouncer. Not just bars and pubs, but even the fucking kebab shop. I am not kidding, and this wasn't an inner city area - like I said, just a small town that you would expect to be able to have a quiet night out in.

The South Koreans kicked the US arse when they bolted over to Korea, that was kicking arse with flying spin kicks, knocking the soldiers off their horses. So, it is possible... admittedly these days it coul all be over for he whole world in seconds if every country hit the button :(

I could just imagine the state of the world if the call was down to half the peeps on GFY :helpme