Post some funny things that happened to you!

[Oracle Porn]

Make us laugh

[supremephxrce]

I was doing my g/f in the ass for the first time and right when I was about to blow her mom walked in

[Oracle Porn]

Originally posted by supremephxrce
I was doing my g/f in the ass for the first time and right when I was about to blow her mom walked in

How old were you? did the mom joined you?

[StuartD]

[Murderous]

A friend and I got wasted, and took this girl home one night and we fucked the shit out of her for hours... It started in the car, on a hill. Proceeded at a spot by the river. Continued at my aunt's house, parked in the yard. And we finally finished the poor girl off at his house. We prolly both nutted in her at least 5-6 times each. Apparently he couldn't hang and he passed out. I on the other hand was still fuckin'. I ended up eating her pussy for quite awhile...

The next day, after we took her home, I turned to my friend and said "Yo dawg... You'll never guess what I did after you passed out."

I never thought about it until that moment... And for some reason, My friends won't let me forget.

Sick huh?
Believe it... or not...

[Oracle Porn]

Originally posted by Murderous
A friend and I got wasted, and took this girl home one night and we fucked the shit out of her for hours... It started in the car, on a hill. Proceeded at a spot by the river. Continued at my aunt's house, parked in the yard. And we finally finished the poor girl off at his house. We prolly both nutted in her at least 5-6 times each. Apparently he couldn't hang and he passed out. I on the other hand was still fuckin'. I ended up eating her pussy for quite awhile...

The next day, after we took her home, I turned to my friend and said "Yo dawg... You'll never guess what I did after you passed out."

I never thought about it until that moment... And for some reason, My friends won't let me forget.

Sick huh?
Believe it... or not...

you ate her out...? so?

[Adulter]

Originally posted by supremephxrce
I was doing my g/f in the ass for the first time and right when I was about to blow her mom walked in

ROTFLMAO

[Murderous]

Originally posted by Oracle Porn


you ate her out...? so?

This was after we both filled her up with so much nut, we could have opened a fucking spermbank.

If that's not funny to you, then your obviously a bigger freek than I.

[Cyborg69]

Originally posted by MaskedMan

wtf

[Oracle Porn]

Originally posted by Murderous


This was after we both filled her up with so much nut, we could have opened a fucking spermbank.

If that's not funny to you, then your obviously a bigger freek than I.

you fuck face
didn't realize that... hahahaha

[gornyhuy]

I think they call that CREAM PIE.

and they also call that LATENT HOMOSEXUAL TENDENCIES.

[Murderous]

Originally posted by gornyhuy
I think they call that CREAM PIE.

and they also call that LATENT HOMOSEXUAL TENDENCIES.

Fuck That!

Totally unintentional, I SWEAR!

[pornguy]

Now that is funny shit!

[p3rsian]

---> I FUCKED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT

[Goatse]

I once fell asleep in a bus, and I woke up in a neighborhood I didn't recognize. That's kind of scary when you're a 13 year old kid.

[Bex]

I was sitting in this bar once when in walks a preist, a rabi, and the president ....

uh nevermind.

[myjah]

when i was in highschool i was running into the school one morning, trying to make it to the pay phone. I was wearing one of those little plaid skirts with thigh high stockings and no panties (cause i was out of thongs and didn't want a pantyline). Well, it had been raining that morning and when i went to turn the corner my feet slid out from under me and I landed pretty much spread eagle in front of none other than: the principal. He turned bright red and couldn't ever quite look me in the eye again. God I'm glad highschool is over!

[FookMi]

I was at a friends house on night. We were all pretty much wasted watching the new Scarface DVD. I walked out onto his balcony and took a leek off the side. In the process i pissed on my hand. I came in side and started talking to him. We were about 3 feet away from each other. While i was talking to him, I picked up a brand new shirt he had just bought and whipped my pissy hand on it. I got finished and went and sat down like nothing was wrong. I didnt even notice. He sat there with a stunned look on his face, and i was like "wtf is wrong?" I wasnt welcome at his house for the next week or so.

[who]

Originally posted by myjah
when i was in highschool i was running into the school one morning, trying to make it to the pay phone. I was wearing one of those little plaid skirts with thigh high stockings and no panties (cause i was out of thongs and didn't want a pantyline). Well, it had been raining that morning and when i went to turn the corner my feet slid out from under me and I landed pretty much spread eagle in front of none other than: the principal. He turned bright red and couldn't ever quite look me in the eye again. God I'm glad highschool is over!

Is it odd that I just fell in love with you?

[myjah]

Originally posted by .?.
Is it odd that I just fell in love with you?

well big kisses baby...thanks for loving me even though i'm apparently clumsy!

[maxjohan]

Originally posted by myjah
when i was in highschool i was running into the school one morning, trying to make it to the pay phone. I was wearing one of those little plaid skirts with thigh high stockings and no panties (cause i was out of thongs and didn't want a pantyline). Well, it had been raining that morning and when i went to turn the corner my feet slid out from under me and I landed pretty much spread eagle in front of none other than: the principal. He turned bright red and couldn't ever quite look me in the eye again. God I'm glad highschool is over!

What's up with this pantyline, I can and will never understand it? What's the secrect?

I mean a pantyline, holy shit!!

[rooster]

hooked up this girl I knew that had gonorea with a couple dudes that fucked her silly.

[maxjohan]

Originally posted by FookMi
I was at a friends house on night. We were all pretty much wasted watching the new Scarface DVD. I walked out onto his balcony and took a leek off the side. In the process i pissed on my hand. I came in side and started talking to him. We were about 3 feet away from each other. While i was talking to him, I picked up a brand new shirt he had just bought and whipped my pissy hand on it. I got finished and went and sat down like nothing was wrong. I didnt even notice. He sat there with a stunned look on his face, and i was like "wtf is wrong?" I wasnt welcome at his house for the next week or so.

pissy hand!!

[myjah]

Originally posted by maxjohan
What's up with this pantyline, I can and will never understand it? What's the secrect?

I mean a pantyline, holy shit!!

i think that post pretty much did it for me...you definitely get on my nerves.
As far as the pantyline thing - I don't want to draw attention away from my extremely hot ass with some fuckin pantyline.

[maxjohan]

Originally posted by myjah

i think that post pretty much did it for me...you definitely get on my nerves.
As far as the pantyline thing - I don't want to draw attention away from my extremely hot ass with some fuckin pantyline.

ah ha..I went to dumb school.

[maxjohan]

Originally posted by myjah

i think that post pretty much did it for me...you definitely get on my nerves.
As far as the pantyline thing - I don't want to draw attention away from my extremely hot ass with some fuckin pantyline.

atleast I read your post

btw, good your honest my x never told me the truth.

[Sarah_Jayne]

ever had a tiger pee on you in front of a group of teenage friends..I have.

[brand0n]

i went out riding on a friend of mines jetskis, meet a few friends of ours out on the water in a couple boats, anyways. im on one of the skis in the waterway, wide open and turn really fast, this throws me sideways into the water almost knocking me out, i wake up floating not knowing what the fuck just happened. my buddys in the boat come and pic me up, well while i was dizzy, my shorts fell off and musta sunk. so there i am ass nakid and about to pass out being drung into my buddys boat

[KRL]

Funny story when I lived in LA. I was driving in Beverly Hills and this beatup car with 4 black teens came barreling at me on Wilshire Blvd in the wrong lane. I thought maybe they were drunk, but I quickly saw they were laughing and were playing chicken with me. I swerved to avoid hitting head on and they schreeched around me still in the wrong lane laughing their asses off and shouting racial profanities at me as they passed.

Being old school Sicilian, I'm not one to be fucked with and have a fight to the death personality. So I jammed on the brakes and started to do a u turn. At the same time 2 other cars approached with older people who yelled out to me that those guys had caused hit and run accidents on several cars already. So now I was really determined to get these ass clowns.

I always keep my cars fully equipped with gadgets for special situations and had wig wag lights installed on this car along with an extra loud alarm system that sounded like a siren, a police scanner and a CB radio with a loudspeaker. I also had one of my police K-9 dogs with me.

So I floored it and zoomed right up behind them and hit the alternate flashing wig wags, the car's alarm siren, and a high beam spot light into their car interior. I didn't think they were going to stop and figured I'd just would need to do a short pursuit with them while I started radioing in to the BHPD for their location to intercept them.

Next thing I know the fuckers hit the brakes and pull over assuming they just got nailed by an unmarked cop car. These were 4 big black teens and I said Oh Shit now what the hell am I going to do next.

So I got on the CB loud speaker, turned on the scanner full blast so they'd heard the police communications background sounds and told them to lock their hands over their head and step out of the vehicle one by one. Remarkably they complied. Then I told them to all lay face down on the sidewalk and they did that too.

Then I gave my police dog the command to bark and I held the CB mike up to his mouth so they'd hear I had a dog with me.

Then my fucking cell phone connection dropped before I was able to give the dispatcher the exact location and I redialed fast as fuck with my hands shaking from the adrenaline rush.

Within a minute, BHPD swarmed in from all directions and the first cop looked at me, saw my light setup and just started laughing his ass off realizing I had totally fooled these guys.

Luckily I had several business cards with me from Police K-9 officers I dealt with for training my dogs, so I pulled out the cards and told them I sold and trained K-9 dogs and they said no problem you did a good job, and they didn't give me even a bit of hassle on my "enhanced" citizens arrest techniques.

[TheLegacy]

Use to be in seminary - had this idea and took a cake icing maker and filled it with mayo then proceeded to the nearest washroom.

Inside I waited for someone to walk in and when they did I pretended I was masturbating. when I hit the orgasm sound - I smashed the icing tube and mayo jumped from my stall to the pastors next to mine - he ran out with mayo all over his head and him thinking it was cum.

[SENSEX]

I farted but it turned out to be a very very wet fart, at least 1 cup of ass juice. We were driving to Toronto down the 401 and the guys would not stop to let me change. The the stench hit them and I was forced to wipe my ass and change my clothes on the 401 while cars and trucks honked at me.