Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard!

[Persius]

It couldn't be simpler!

Check it out here

[After Shock Media]

OK I am glad I did not just jump back here after watching a few moments of that to say how absolutely fucking stupid that is. Resisted the urge and did not show everyone that I do not rush to judgement.

[tony286]

that was too funny lol

[MaDalton]

nice, i want one ;)

[~Ray]

the onion

[dav3]

"Everything is only a few hundred clicks away!"

hahah

[hypedough]

I want one!

[jmk]

LOL you gotta love the onion!

[Grapesoda]

fucking brilliant!

[pornguy]

HP has had a touch screen out for 2 months., and we saw a reason the other day that its good to have a keyboard.

A browser was opened and adjusted so that the X was off the top of the screen along with the top of the browser. There was no way to close it other then to reboot the system. No keyboard means no Ctrl Alt Del.

[TyroneGoldberg]

love it....

lol

[EthnicLover]

"I'll buy almost anything if its shiny and made by Apple"

"Where people use computers for actual work and not just dicking around."

Hey I'm not dicking around. Bitch.

[wyldblyss]

"spent 45 minutes typing an email to a friend" lol

[HorseShit]

quite the production for something fake

[Scroto]

epic failure lol..

[abyss_al]

[96ukssob]

that is great

[TyroneGoldberg]

"I'll buy almost anything if its shiny and made by Apple"

"Where people use computers for actual work and not just dicking around."

Hey I'm not dicking around. Bitch.

that's funny and I use a Mac....

the emails says, 'sent from a Macbook wheel so everyone knows you have one'


9g's for 40GB

to reduce energy screen goes black after 4 seconds

[bobby666]

really an impresive gadget

[NaughtyRob]

That shit is lame, I type like 65 wpm and that would slow me down BIGtime.

[J$tyle$]

Jobs: People who use keyboards
'Standing in the way of human progress'

" ... virtually unbreakable unless dropped or hit"

"... they are already hard at work on the next generation of the MacBook Wheel, which will be 4 oz lighter ... due to its lack of a screen, hard drive or wheel"

[bronco67]

"Everything is just a few hundred clicks away"

If you want a good laugh, read some of the "predicted sentences". I was laughing my ass off.

[Si]

that is seriously fucked!

[Dvae]

An attempt at humor, but FAILED miserably!

[Yngwie]

That's nothing. I invented a laptop with no keyboard or wheel. You just use the newly made Clapper to type, open files etc.. One clap = highlight file(s), 2 claps = open file(s) or folder(s). the alphabet clapping technique will take some practice, but after you have it mastered you will be typing at 1000wpm. There are many other features, but they will not be revealed till 3 moths prior to the launch which will be in 2053. What I can tell you is that it will have 256MB of edo ram, an insanely fast dx266 cpu, a large hdd totaling 10MB of space which you can use for anything and everything, TWO floppy drives, a 2400baud modem for super fast internet access and the list goes one.. The best part is the price.. It's will blow EVERYTHING out of the water and only cost $5500. How do we manage to sell for that low? We have made deals with the best hardware providers to give YOU what you need at a price you can afford.

COMING SOON!

[qxm]

wow...how stupid is that... I get the fact that anything Apple creates becomes a fashion accessory but ... fuck.. man... 45 mins to type an email... and I woudn't believe anyone who tells me the wheel is more efficient than the keyboard...no fucking way...

If Apple plans to pull this shit out of their asses they better include an optional keyboard .. otherwise this is preposterous Twattlecock! ....

BTW ... congratz to the winners (yeah .. stock owners!)

[MikesTraffic]

wow...how stupid is that... I get the fact that anything Apple creates becomes a fashion accessory but ... fuck.. man... 45 mins to type an email... and I woudn't believe anyone who tells me the wheel is more efficient than the keyboard...no fucking way...

If Apple plans to pull this shit out of their asses they better include an optional keyboard .. otherwise this is preposterous Twattlecock! ....

BTW ... congratz to the winners (yeah .. stock owners!)

umm dude, I'm pretty sure it was just a joke

[Adam_M]

wow...how stupid is that... I get the fact that anything Apple creates becomes a fashion accessory but ... fuck.. man... 45 mins to type an email... and I woudn't believe anyone who tells me the wheel is more efficient than the keyboard...no fucking way...

If Apple plans to pull this shit out of their asses they better include an optional keyboard .. otherwise this is preposterous Twattlecock! ....

BTW ... congratz to the winners (yeah .. stock owners!)

To Funny!

[tiger]

Everything is just a few hundred clicks away.

[bronco67]

wow...how stupid is that... I get the fact that anything Apple creates becomes a fashion accessory but ... fuck.. man... 45 mins to type an email... and I woudn't believe anyone who tells me the wheel is more efficient than the keyboard...no fucking way...

If Apple plans to pull this shit out of their asses they better include an optional keyboard .. otherwise this is preposterous Twattlecock! ....

BTW ... congratz to the winners (yeah .. stock owners!)

Somebody's humor detector has malfunctioned, or maybe this post is brilliant sarcasm.

[Iron Fist]

wow...how stupid is that... I get the fact that anything Apple creates becomes a fashion accessory but ... fuck.. man... 45 mins to type an email... and I woudn't believe anyone who tells me the wheel is more efficient than the keyboard...no fucking way...

If Apple plans to pull this shit out of their asses they better include an optional keyboard .. otherwise this is preposterous Twattlecock! ....

BTW ... congratz to the winners (yeah .. stock owners!)

I see what you did there

[NinjaSteve]

Hahaha, automatically says "Sent form a Macbook wheel"

[grumpy]

the onion, always good

[Mr. E]

hmmm, looks like that would take some getting used to and seems slow. I would love to see one you could just give voice commands to and one that typed what you said to it.

[Adam X]

pretty lame.. I can type so fast.. why would I want to scroll for each letter, and it took that guy 45 minutes to type an email..... ridiculous

[dav3]

That shit is lame, I type like 65 wpm and that would slow me down BIGtime.

But DOOOOD! The predicted sentences totally make up for it!!

I am soooo getting one!

[Malicious Biz]

"I'll buy anything as long as it's shiny and made by apple"

Haha, I love The Onion.

[Walter Gropius]

"I'll buy almost anything if its shiny and made by Apple"

"Where people use computers for actual work and not just dicking around."

Hey I'm not dicking around. Bitch.

[Walter Gropius]

My favourite predicted sentence has to be:

"The advertisement was effective."

Brilliant!

[Zorgman]

Did they say the battery last for only 19 minutes?

[germ]

haha. i love the onion.

[After Shock Media]

I love some of the replies here.

[qxm]

I love some of the replies here.

Thank u ... I try to do my best but nowadays it is very hard to please the audience .....

[quantum-x]

HP has had a touch screen out for 2 months., and we saw a reason the other day that its good to have a keyboard.

A browser was opened and adjusted so that the X was off the top of the screen along with the top of the browser. There was no way to close it other then to reboot the system. No keyboard means no Ctrl Alt Del.

Right click on taskbar icon, select move, and move it / close it ?
My computer / taskman / kill process
On screen keyboard..
...

[Antonio]

[Slappin Fish]

That was funny but some of the replies in this thread scare me

[travs]

whoahohohoho nice

[Serial Pervert]

very nice!

[tranza]

Nice one!!!

[Blingbaby]

Duh ok The Onion, funny ..